Terrified of open heart surgery

[HAls]

Hello everyone, I am new here.
My boyfriend is having an endovascular repair and valve repair in an open heart surgery later today. They are going to put his heart on bypass machine (blood pump) during the surgery.
I am terrified to say the least.
The surgeon said at first that there is 30% chance my boyfriend is going to make it through. Then, after doing tests, he said it’s actually around 50-60% chance of success. But I feel that is still too low. The main reason for this percentage is because the doctor is mainly concerned about putting my boyfriend’s heart on bypass machine because his heart muscle is too enlarged.
I keep breaking down and I cannot stay calm because I love this man with all my heart and I do not want to lose him.

Is anyone here with similar stories where they know someone had low chances of success but still made it through?
is there anything to help me stay calm?
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this

 

[dick0236]

Hi HAIs and welcome to this forum. Most, if not nearly everyone, on this forum who has had open-heart surgery had been placed on a heart/lung machine in order to operate on our heart. Many, like me, had significant heart enlargement since the heart had been working overtime to overcome the blood regurgitation due to the valve leakage. Hopefully, you misunderstood the success percentage of this type of surgery (50-60% ?),,,,,,that seems very low especially if your boyfriend is a younger man. Normally this type of surgery carries a risk factor of 2% or so.....but perhaps there are unusual circumstances around his situation. Stay with us and have him look into this forum after his surgery is completed.

 

[HAls]

Hi HAIs and welcome to this forum. Most, if not nearly everyone, on this forum who has had open-heart surgery had been placed on a heart/lung machine in order to operate on our heart. Many, like me, had significant heart enlargement since the heart had been working overtime to overcome the blood regurgitation due to the valve leakage. Hopefully, you misunderstood the success percentage of this type of surgery (50-60% ?),,,,,,that seems very low especially if your boyfriend is a younger man. Normally this type of surgery carries a risk factor of 2% or so.....but perhaps there are unusual circumstances around his situation. Stay with us and have him look into this forum after his surgery is completed.

He is very young, in his 20s. Could it be due to the fact that his heart is failing? I’m really not sure. That percentage is driving me crazy as I’ve searched a lot and I haven’t seen anything about this surgery having this much of a low success %.
He is getting weaker and I’m praying that his heart handles the surgery and he gets better.

 

[pellicle]

Hey there

I had my first surgery at about 10yo, and my heart was enlarged. I was of course on a heart lung machine. I made a good recovery and went on to lead a normal life (except that I had 2 more surgeries where I was again out on a heart lung machine).

I'm now in my 50's

Doctors often don't have the best bed side manner.

All you can do now is wait and be strong. I know its within you,its within us all as we are the descendants of everyone before us, who too have dealt with many challenges.

Best Wishes

 

[cldlhd]

Nobody out here can speak to his specific case, curious as to why his heart is as enlarged as you were told in his twenties? But that seems like a very low quoted chance of survival compared to what everyone else has experienced so maybe the doctor isn't exactly the most positive. Or maybe it's a case of looking to pleasantly surprise with the result? I was put on the heart and lung bypass machine 6 years ago and 6 weeks later I was driving, working on my house etc and 3 months later I was back at work full duty at a physical job. So while not being a medical expert or familiar with his situation I think the odds are much much better than that. The reality is that if he doesn't get to surgery his odds are lower or they likely would not be performing the surgery so sending best wishes from Pennsylvania and try to remain positive. Six months from now, which flies by, this will be a memory.

 

[Superman]

Sorry to hear about this. Wishing you and the surgical team and your boyfriend peace and a successful procedure. If I had to guess, I would say that this was a unknown condition that was caught in a more advanced state? Otherwise odds for success are typically 98% or better. Normally this is a very successful operation that thousands go through every year.

I was 17 back in 1990 when I had my valve replaced. My cardiac muscle was enlarged as well. Even over 30 years ago, it was a very high likelihood of success. But I was followed very closely by a pediatric cardiologist since infancy, so there were no surprises.

I don’t know where you both are at in your relationship, but I met my wife well after I had my first open heart. Many years and four awesome kids later, she got to experience what you are right now in the waiting room while I had my second open heart due to an aneurysm. That was over 11 years ago. Now we have five kids.

If you’re in the waiting room, keep us posted. There are people here all day willing to support you as virtually as we can.

 

[vitdoc]

Clearly if you are getting numbers like you mentioned your boyfriend’s situation is not typical. It sounds like he might have a cardiomyopathy which is a weakening and enlargement of the heart muscle. You didn’t mention what the surgery was for. You and your boyfriend need to get a bit more information to understand why his numbers are what they are.

Incidentally my wife who at that time was my girlfriend was at my first open heart in 1977. Still together 44 years later.