Taking care of friend post-op

[FriendForLife]

Hello All. My dear friend is having her valve replacement surgery tomorrow. After she is released from the hospital, she will be coming to my home to stay for a week or two to "recover."

I am wondering if there are any things that I should have on hand or be prepared for when she comes? I have 3 small children (ages 2 yrs, 3 yrs & 4 yrs) and we have been discussing it with them for weeks now. We moved a gliding rocking chair into the guest room because we don't have a recliner. Will that be comfortable for her? She will have her own bathroom en suite...is there anything I should stock the bathroom with for her?

I have had 3 c-sections, so I at least have an idea of what recovering from surgery is like...but I don't have a clue what recovering from HEART surgery will be like. I was 4 when she had her last open heart surgery & I honestly don't remember much about it.

Also, are there any special things that I can have for her? I want her to feel comfortable and at home. Any feedback would be so appreciated!

 

[Mb]

What a good friend you are! I hope if I ever get sick, and need help, someone will care for me, and about me as much as you!

I am two years out from my husbands heart surgery, but I will make a couple of suggestions:

1. Have extra pillos and blankets on hand. She may need them to sleep with, and she will alternate between being hot....or cold. Also, many of the folks here sweat profusely during the night. A few extra dry nightgowns close at hand might be good. My husband often had to change his under clothes in the first weeks post surgery. We got to the point of placing towels on his side of the bed. Might help.

2. Keep on hand a few of her favorite foods. She will not be having a great appitite at first, but try tempting her with her favorite things.

3. Pill boxes.....these are a life saver. We have three, one for morning, one for mid afternoon, and one for the evening. That way no one needs to remember if he took his meds. Shows right up in the boxes. Also, for the first few weeks, perhaps you might fill the boxes, following the directions VERY carefully, to make sure that every proper med is taken.

4. Something to remove the tape stickies with. Although my husband was cleaned up after the surgery, that sticky tape stuff from everything....was everywhere.

5. You need a "code sign" when company comes a callin. She needs to be able to let you know she has had enough, and is tired. And, you need to get her back into her bed or chair. When we had company come, after a half hour or so, I would look at him and say "Sweetie, you look tired. Why don;t you get back into your chair". 99 times out of 100, back to his chair he went, and out the door the company traveled. He was really not up to more than a half hour or so for the first weeks post surgery. So a signal of some sort is necessary. Like maybe she could ask you to get her some water? You would then know....she has had enough.

6. Videos......lots of em.

7. With three kids in the house, my best suggestion, is if someone asks if you need any help, tell them yes, bring a casserole. I didn't, and really wished I had.

I am sure a lot more folks will come on and give you more/better suggestions. Best of luck to you ...you are a great friend.
Marybeth

 

[Nancy]

Hi and welcome to the site.

You are doing such a nice thing for your friend.

Your friend will be very, very weak when she first gets out of the hospital. She will be on pain pills and will be very sore, especially in the sternum area, but her shoulders and back may be painful also. She will probably not be up to much conversation and will tire very easily. She may also have moments of emotional upheaval. This is normal after heart surgery, and it is mostly from the anesthesia which takes a long time to get out of your system, and the pain pills too. She might even hallucinate. Not that I want to scare you, but it can happen, also from medications.

You may find that she will not feel like eating for several days. This too is normal. Some people do well with Popsicles and some like fruit juice and canned fruit.

She might have a lot of trouble sleeping. Most people can only sleep for a couple of hours at a time.

I would say that the first couple of days after getting out of the hospital, she will need your help much of the day and maybe even at night, and someone should be in the house with her for at least the first week, at all times, and possibly the second week.

She will not be allowed to lift anything because of the sternum which has to heal. She, of course will not be able to drive.

She will have many heavy-duty drugs to take, so keep your children safe from these.

You may have to help her to take her medications on time and at the right dosage. She might have some temporary memory impairment.

A small plastic chair for the shower will be helpful.

Make sure that you know all the things to look out for. Her surgeon should give her a list on discharge from the hospital

Please feel free to ask any and all questions. There are so many very knowlegeable on this site. I'm sure you will get lots of good ideas.

Best wishes.

 

[hensylee]

extra pillows for when she needs to recline and not lie down. it's hard to sit straight up in a chair so extra pillows for the bed.

Walk with her. When/if she walks a bit in the yard, be WITH her, allow her to hold your elbow.

Stand near when she showers. She will be very weak at first.

Be sure she 'exercises' - those that she did in the hospital. And walking, using her spirometer is very, very, very important for her recuperation.

Don't stand over her - give her peace - quiet - she will need it. Limit the children's visits to her room, but do let them go, just not for long. Nancy's advice for visiting is very good.

She'll need lots of naps the first week, tapering off after that, but still needing lots of rest.

Food - whatever she wants.

Bless you - I had a nurse cousin who took care of me. I stayed a month with her. It was such a blessing and help to me.

Thank you for being a Friend Indeed........

 

[Ross]

Be careful with that gliding chair, she could slip and really hurt herself. Stationary chair would be more ideal or find a way to secure it so that it doens't move.

 

[Jed]

How lucky she is

How lucky she is

How lucky she is to have a true friend like you and i am sure she know's that. I am on the verge myself of having 2 valves replaced. Not sure what i am going to do as far as homecare. Probably my Father. Anyway the ideas you hear from this site will help you and they are helping me also. I want to make it as easy for the person helping me as possible, myself too. Thanks for your support even thought its not for me it does make me feel good. There are angels all around us. Some we don't see and some we don't realize. I truely belive that when one of my loved ones dies that i have another angel watching over me, and boy do i keep them busy, lol. A friend in need is a friend indeed.

 

[bvdr]

You are indeed a true friend. All the above suggestions are very good. After surgery I had very little appetite but I was very thirsty. I kept water within reach at all times. The only food I desired was nice fresh fruit.

I did not have my valve replacement through my sternum so I had fewer and shorter restrictions afterwards. Regardless of what procedure she has done just encourage her to follow the instructions given to her carefully.

When she runs into questions about if something she is experiencing is normal then encourage her to go ahead and call her doctor since so early into recovery they certainly expect a few calls.

I wish the best for you and your friend and will include you in my prayers.

 

[Granbonny]

What type of bed do you have in your guest bedroom. My family brought downstairs a twin bed from Grandson's room. Put in Living room..and friend brought me a form wedgie...Twin bed was lower to floor.Wedgie was type you prop up in bed at night to read. Maybe you need to sleep in room at night with your friend..if possible. Make her take her pain meds..They will help her..to feel like a walk inside house the first few days. You didn't mention your location. Warm or cold?..She will probably feel like a short walk in yard after a week.Are there other people who can help? Like, grocery shopping for you?..Take care and let us hear how your friend is doing..Bonnie

 

[Nancy]

I used a baby monitor when I had to be in another part of the house after my husband's surgery.

Get some alcohol based hand gel for disinfecting hands, one for yourself and one for your friend.

It might also be a good idea to get a box of surgical gloves. They could come in handy.

Your friend could also have some dietary restrictions such as low sodium diet or a diet which is low in vitamin K. Make sure you know if there are any restrictions.

 

[tommy]

I'm sure that your children are darlings. They certainly are if they take after their mom. What a wonderful thing you are doing.

I'm glad that you have been discussing your friend's recuperation in your house with your kiddos. Still, kids can easily forget the rules. Your friend may need some "protection" if the kids are huggy and clingy with her, or as most kids prone to sudden movements and noises.

Of course, gentle hugs are always welcomed and greatly appreciated.

 

[labguides]

helping a friend

helping a friend

If possible go to the hospital when the nurses go over post-op directions/education. That should help both you and your friend understand what is going to be happening to her post-op.

 

[hensylee]

I forgot this one - my meds and water were always within reach of my bed so if I needed something in the night, it was there - including a clock (recovery hours are weird, so we need to know what time it is - always). My nurse cousin would come in at night with fresh water, watch me as I took my medicine to be sure I got it right. Careful of the children on the medicine thing.

 

[Karlynn]

Such a wonderful friend you are. There's a line in the last of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. It's towards the end and Frodo is so weak, but has an important job to accomplish. Sam says to him "I can't carry it for you Mr. Frodo, but I can carry you."

You are a living example of what this forum is - support and caring.

God bless you.
Karlynn