T-Minus 3 days

[cbdheartman]

Operation Chest Cracker is Thursday me for aortic aneurysm repair and (I hope) David Reimplantation. Just need to vent a little.

I oscillate from calm and trust in God to freakin' out! I worry about never waking up, something happening to me, leaving behind young kids (surprisingly I think my wife would land on her feet!), etc. The idea of my heart being stopped is both freaky and fascinating but I do worry about it not restarting.

None of you knows me, but did any of you write letters to family just in case? A friend thought this might turn me up too much and not be worth it.

I started a care page if you are curious and will have my wife update things:

http://www.carepages.com/carepages/OperationChestCracker

For those you who pray, I would appreciate your prayers.

 

[kfay]

Those of us who are post surgery can relate to everything you are feeling. It is completely normal. The evening before surgery, I actually started feeling really calm about what was going to happen and was surprisingly able to get a good night sleep that night.

I did write letters to my husband and kids. It was a very hard thing to do, and luckily, they never received them. I'm glad I did it though.

Your time will be here before you know it. Enjoy the next couple of days, spend time with your family and friends. Everything will be fine.

Kim

 

[buncle]

prayers are on the way now.

 

[Ross]

Perfectly normal. Maybe you should become insane like me, then it wouldn't bother you as much?

 

[escargome]

Yes, I did write letters to my husband, son and daughter. I put them in our safe, knowing that if something happened, they would eventually have to go into the safe. Then as soon as I got home, I opened that safe, took out the letters and gave them each their letter so they could read what I was thinking and feeling. Each of them read their letter privately. I don't know where those letters are now and I don't especially care. If you believe in your heart that writing will help then do it. Prior to my surgery I was quite calm and my family were the ones who were in denial that something might happen. I told them that they would be the only ones who would know that I didn't wait up since I would happily be in heaven. I will be praying for your extra hard cause I know what a time you have had getting to the place where you are now. I believe with all my heart that your surgery will be a success and soon you will be back home with your loved ones asking telling yourself "I really did it" "I have a mended heart and a new lease on life" God Bless You and your family.

 

[Bina]

I also thought about "what if?"
The idea of writing letters to family members was making me freak out, so I never ended up doing it. But it's a great idea.
Ultimately, we have to trust our surgeons. They have all the experience.
They know what to do.
Breathe deep, exhale, have faith.

 

[Jkm7]

We'll all have you in your thoughts and will be waiting to hear from you that you are safely 'over the mountain' and on the mend. Please let us know how you are doing as soon as you are able.

We all handle the stress of these last few days pre-op in our own way with our private thoughts.

I did it twice and it didn't get easier the second time.
Keep in mind how many of us have been through OHS (multiple times for some of us) and most of us are doing wonderfully well and are living full, active, rewarding lives.

 

[ottagal]

I will certainly continue my prayers for you, CBDheartman. Sending positive thoughts and best wishes..

 

[Nancy]

Instead of writing letters to your loved ones, why not just tell them in person how much you love them and anything else that is on your mind, and give them all big hugs and kisses, shows you're human. It will mean so much to them instead of an indirect letter that they will never get to read.

You may get emotional, but so what? It would probably do you good to spill it all out and not let it build up inside.

Showing love is much more important than writing love.

 

[Mary]

CBD,
I had placed the date on the calendar as August 14 following your writing that was the date in a thread started several weeks ago. Has the surgery date changed to the 13? If so, I will change the calendar and get an official "off to surgery" started today!

 

[Ross]

If it helps at all, I took my entire family (And their girl friends) out to dinner. We discussed everything and I told them in no uncertain terms that this may well be the last time were all together while I'm alive. I know it had a profound effect on them. I too, thought of writing letters to all, but in the end, it was more important for me to express my love for them directly, then to hide it in a letter to each of them.

 

[hall]

I believe we all had the same thoughts. I will certainly keep you in my prayers.

 

[ponytaila1a]

Prayers for peace as you wait. "Oh for the grace to trust Him more". After the wait I was just relieved to get checked into the hospital......finally my turn. Remember He still has the whole world (including you and your family and the professionals) in His hands.
Keep posting as you feel the need. We are here for you.

 

[cbdheartman]

I like the idea of expressing it personally, but the one problem is my kids. They are too young to know the implications of this so maybe letters to them and expressions of love for the rest. I dunno. I like the idea of having something to hang on to.

My folks rolled into tonight which was a great help and I feel much calmer. Also, there was something about shutting the light off in the office after cranking out a draft brief that I did quickly but seemed decent that helped.

 

[CThrock]

I just sat down with my family and told them how I felt about them,and what to do if this was our last time together. We talked,cried and laughed together the night before my OHS.
I think being honest with them is the most important thing and I'm glad I did.
I have the world's best family!!!
You will be in my prayers for a successful surgery and a speedy recovery.
God Bless.