Surgeon says its time to fix me up.

[RickKiem]

I saw the surgeon (Dr. Hazim safi) today and he recomended surgery to repair my aneurysm and most likely replace my aortic valve (said there is a small chance, 5%, they might be able to save it). The tenative date is next Tuesday, November 4th. This situation has developed so fast that I am in shock and my wife is worried sick. I guess I knew it was coming but was thinking I would have more time to prepare. The doc says that while the surgery is not an emergency he recomended we move foward asap. right now I am struggling with what to tell my boys. The little one is probably to young to understand but my older one will know daddy is sick and will worry. Well, I quess I better get started up this mountain as I don't have much time to get to the top. I will see everyone on the other side. Thanks again to everyone for their advice.

Rick

 

[Heather Fisher]

Rick,

My dad went through a couple of heart surgeries when I was a kid. I remember him being sick with an aneurysm that had to be watched. Even though I was about 8 years old at the time, I don't recall being that worried that things wouldn't turn out O.K.
Your wife probably needs the most support as she will have responsibility for both you and the kids. Do you have any family members or neighbors/friends nearby that can help?

Meanwhile, I know the surgery will go well and that things will be looking up in the other side of the mountain. It's great to finally get that date be be on the way to better health. Let us know3 how it goes. Everyone here will be thinking of you!

Heather

 

[Nancy]

Hi Rick-

Sorry to hear that this is happening faster than you expected. But now it will be over and done with so you can enjoy a little of the holiday season without worrying sick over what might happen.

We're all here for you during this stressful time. And if your wife would like to join this wonderful site, she will gain a lot of instant friends, including many, like myself who are spouses and have been in her situation.

She could email me if that would help. My email is [email protected]. Just ask her to put something I will recognize in the message line.

Gee, you've only been a member for 24 days. We're gonna have to work hard to get you in shape for mountain climbing.

Best wishes

 

[Nan]

Hi Rick, just wanted to wish you the best.

In a way it is easier to do it quickly, although you are rushed and worried, it is sometimes harder to wait....

.probably just telling your older boy a limited version of what is happening will suffice. Kids are pretty tough and resiliant.

I agree with Nancy that your wife (as well as you!) will need support. Hopefully there is someone near by. If not, perhaps there is a mended hearts group there? That might be of help.

Hang in there and soon you will be on the other side of the mountain.

 

[hensylee]

whoa - that's not much time to do much but put your toothbrush in a sack. But then, you knew it was comin and better sooner than later. Tell your son the truth - that you are having a surgery that will make you happier and healthier and able to do lots more things once you get over it, but you will have a scar when you get home and he will be awed by it, but he will get past it once he sees you are ok. Just don't let him come to the hospital too soon after surgery. Wait a few days. Tell your wife, too that she is also not alone. There are many SO's here and they all have been through it right along with their loved one - just as hard, if not harder, on the waiting one. Good luck and GODSPEED

 

[Karlynn]

Rick,
Best wishes and prayers for a successful surgery and a quick recovery. With such quick notice, you won't be on the up hill climb of the mountain for long.

Be positive with your boys about how this surgery is going to fix you up. They will remember this in their own way, but they are tougher than most adults.

Karlynn

 

[KathyH]

Rick,
Wow, a week away! Maybe your wife will worry less if she reads the posts on this site? We will be thinking of you. Keep us posted.
KathyH

 

[Arlyss]

Dear Rick,
I am so glad that you have met with the surgeon and that plans are now in place.....remember that when you wake up following your surgery, that weak aneurysmal aortic tissue will be all gone, and in its place will be a wonderful strong Dacron graft! Based on the recommendations at expert centers, it is time for your surgery. You are young and healthy, and you will do very well!
Best wishes to you and your family,
Arlyss

 

[Les]

Rick,
Best wishes on your surgery and for a great recovery! It'll all be behind you very soon...

 

[JetService]

Rick, I know what you mean with the little ones. My youngest is two and had no clue what was going on, but my 9 year old was terribly worried. He didn't talk about it much and almost seemed afraid to. But he was so worried and probably had no real perspective on how safe the surgery was. I was very open and talked about the surgery with him and it seemed to relieve him. Also, talking about my limitations post-surgery seemed to be reassuring to him. I'd say "I won't be able to play catch with you for a few weeks afterward, because I be too sore." While I thought this would disappoint him, I could tell it relieved him because he knew 'I'd be OK.'

 

[Ross]

It's very important not to play the surgery down to little ones. They have their own preconceived notions on this sort of thing. They deserve to have a talk to let them know that while the surgery is serious business, you will be fine and that it is necessary so that you can be around for them in the future.

Rick while I'm sure you have a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, as does your wife, I'm very happy to hear that they are not going to delay any longer. Your well into the danger zone and it's much better that it get fixed asap then waiting for disaster to strike.

 

[ladybug]

Rick, sorry to hear that you're having problems, but as many others have said, I think it's better to get it over with asap. My husband will have surgery on Nov. 13 and we've known this for about 4-5 weeks now. The waiting and wondering is stressful for both of us. I happened across this site and have been thankful for all of the great information and encouragement from others' stories. You wife should definitely take a look at the site. I'm sure it will help ease her mind somewhat. Good luck and let us know how things go.

 

[ALCapshaw2]

Hello and Welcome to Our World Rick,

An important point for you and your family to remember is that while this is MAJOR Surgery, it is a highly refined art with exceptionally LOW Morbidity numbers (<3%), especially for first time patients and even more especially for patients under age 60.

You and your wife may want to read over some of the Personal Stories linked to the first window of this site. Also browse through the Pre-Surgery and Post-Surgery Forum archives.

EVERY ONE of us on this site (or our family member) has SURVIVED the ordeal and many have been blessed with restored energy and health far exceeding their expectations.

Most everyone comes back with the same observation:

The WAITING is WORSE than the DOING !

Best wishes,

'AL'

 

[Granbonny]

Rick

Rick

I had my surgery on a Monday and on Wednesday afternoon..my son brought my age 9 year old Grandson into my room. All tubes gone. he crawled up on bed with me and we looked at books and talked and laughed. He saw no tubes, ect..Just told him I was coming home in a few days...He was fine..and later. knew..I could not play hard with him for awhile. Now, he cannot keep up with me..18 months later. Bonnie ( age 63)

 

[RickKiem]

Thanks everyone for all your words of encouragment and advice. I quess I have been in shock the last couple of days and really had not been all that nervous about all this, but today at work it all seemed to hit home. I quess the next couple of days are going to be the hardest. I talked to my oldest about what is happening and he seems to understand that daddy will not be able to play as hard for the next little while. He called me at work this morning before he went to daycare and was crying for me to come home. It made me decide to make today my last day at work and I am going to to keep both my boys home with me and do some fun stuff with them. Maybe take them to the zoo becuase they love the zoo. Go and take mommy to lunch. Fun stuff. Well thanks again for listening and we will let ya'll know how the zoo goes.

Rick

 

[Georgia]

Congrats on a date

Congrats on a date

And I bet you're pretty worried right now. But finding out when surgery is with only about a week seems just about right to me - gives you enough time to take care of whatever needs done, get a few good meals, buy a recliner or whatever is needed, but doesn't leave you hanging out there for weeks of worrying.

Have a real good time with your kids this weekend - hope you have good weather and can go roll in some leaves or something. Will they be trick or treating?

We'll all be thinking of you. Hang in there.

 

[Guest]

Hi Rick!

I was in your shoes about the same time this last year. I also have three kids (10,6 &3 at the time) so I know what you are going through. I was also teaching preschool at the time so I also had 12, 4 &5 yr. olds who were also worried about what was about to happen to their teacher!
It's kind of funny now but we explained my surgery to my preschoolers by comparing it to when you take your car to a mechanic to have it serviced. The mechanic has to "open up the hood to look at the engine to find the problem and fix it". That helped them to understand basically what the doctor would be doing and why I would have a scar on my chest (or hood - hee, hee ) afterwards!
Of course, I had one student (whose father was a mechanic) who wanted to know if the doctor was going to "put me on the jack" to "check my oil"!
Kids are truely amazing and when you explain to them what is going to happen to you....in a way they can relate to....they will be fine!! In fact, I found comfort in their peacefulness and was ready to go when my moment came!

 

[Kathy]

Rick,

You made a wise choice in taking time off from work to be with your children. I hope that you have a great day.

I've taught for ages and agree with Mommy3. Children are very resilient. If you talk to them honestly they will open up and let you know how they are interpreting events.

 

[KathyH]

Hope you had a great day with your family.I'll be keeping you in my thoughts on Tuesday. I bet you'll sleep right thru it! ( sorry, I couldn't resist that one). Keep us posted on your progress.
All the Best
Kathy H