pellicle
Professional Dingbat, Guru and Merkintologist
Probably you're in shock or some sort of frenzied tail spin.
You've found this site and hopefully this post, so that's good.
Now first up the outcomes are good and while there will be some discomfort the one thing that gets ignored by the medical system is the psychology involved. This is because Surgeons are not good psychologists (for a bunch of reasons) and neither are most Cardiologists.
So this post is my attempt to bring to your mind that everything is about adjustment to change and managing that is paramount.
We go through many changes from childhood through school years and into the beginnings of adult life. Most of these changes were forced upon us, but as children we are pre-designed to be looking for growth and learning about the world. Somehow that shuts down (which is a sad thing) and we cease to be learning about "what is" and begin learning about how to be competitive in "what we know is".
I'd first like to share some words which are nearly 2000 year old :
(Marcus Aurelius)
So with that as my guiding principle I will say that the first point is spot on. Indeed being anxious is a state which comes from needing to do something but not knowing how to do that. The reality is that if you're diagnosed already than what you "need to do" is already done. The cookies are now in the oven and you just have to wait till they're baked and then properly cooled before you can enjoy one.
Similarly with this diagnosis, you are now in the oven (or as we call it the waiting room) and the work is actually already in progress.
The second point is to fix your eyes on what you need to do, which is to be a good patient. Listen to what is being said, and try to understand it. Then with that as the starting point research what those things mean, or better yet, ask here to help with that research. Going blindly and in ignorance to Google is probably the worst thing you can do. Good research is guided, either by your own experience or by a more experienced mentor / teacher.
There will be people (surgeons and cardiologists) with vested interests and personal biases come along. You need to change your view from "they are gods" to "they are consultants and contractors" and work with them to find what you need. Don't be afraid to sack a contractor you don't feel good about working with.
Surgery is not what you need to do, that is what the surgeon does. Learning about life after surgery and how that is influenced by what you choose is what you need to focus on.
You should be thinking in terms of the rest of your life. I have seen here often that people can't see past the fog of "surgery" ... in truth that's because you don't know about it. What you do know about is your life and how long you can expect to live (which starts with how old you are now), how active you are (how active you perhaps should be).
Let me quote from this article
http://circ.ahajournals.org/content/119/7/1034.full
those two bolded points are key here:
You will hear and read a lot about different options, its important to not reach a conclusion before you have begun the search and before you understand.
I would hope that this site and the people here can offer by our experiences insights into what choices you need to make to be best served for the rest of your life.
Stop thinking about the surgery, and think of the rest of your life and what you want for that. Think of your family and the people who love you and depend on you.
Best Wishes
You've found this site and hopefully this post, so that's good.
Now first up the outcomes are good and while there will be some discomfort the one thing that gets ignored by the medical system is the psychology involved. This is because Surgeons are not good psychologists (for a bunch of reasons) and neither are most Cardiologists.
So this post is my attempt to bring to your mind that everything is about adjustment to change and managing that is paramount.
We go through many changes from childhood through school years and into the beginnings of adult life. Most of these changes were forced upon us, but as children we are pre-designed to be looking for growth and learning about the world. Somehow that shuts down (which is a sad thing) and we cease to be learning about "what is" and begin learning about how to be competitive in "what we know is".
I'd first like to share some words which are nearly 2000 year old :
(Marcus Aurelius)
So with that as my guiding principle I will say that the first point is spot on. Indeed being anxious is a state which comes from needing to do something but not knowing how to do that. The reality is that if you're diagnosed already than what you "need to do" is already done. The cookies are now in the oven and you just have to wait till they're baked and then properly cooled before you can enjoy one.
Similarly with this diagnosis, you are now in the oven (or as we call it the waiting room) and the work is actually already in progress.
The second point is to fix your eyes on what you need to do, which is to be a good patient. Listen to what is being said, and try to understand it. Then with that as the starting point research what those things mean, or better yet, ask here to help with that research. Going blindly and in ignorance to Google is probably the worst thing you can do. Good research is guided, either by your own experience or by a more experienced mentor / teacher.
There will be people (surgeons and cardiologists) with vested interests and personal biases come along. You need to change your view from "they are gods" to "they are consultants and contractors" and work with them to find what you need. Don't be afraid to sack a contractor you don't feel good about working with.
Surgery is not what you need to do, that is what the surgeon does. Learning about life after surgery and how that is influenced by what you choose is what you need to focus on.
You should be thinking in terms of the rest of your life. I have seen here often that people can't see past the fog of "surgery" ... in truth that's because you don't know about it. What you do know about is your life and how long you can expect to live (which starts with how old you are now), how active you are (how active you perhaps should be).
Let me quote from this article
http://circ.ahajournals.org/content/119/7/1034.full
Despite the marked improvements in prosthetic valve design and surgical procedures over the past decades, valve replacement does not provide a definitive cure to the patient. Instead, native valve disease is traded for “prosthetic valve disease,” and the outcome of patients undergoing valve replacement is affected by prosthetic valve hemodynamics, durability, and thrombogenicity. Nonetheless, many of the prosthesis-related complications can be prevented or their impact minimized through optimal prosthesis selection in the individual patient and careful medical management and follow-up after implantation.
those two bolded points are key here:
- you are not cured you have a surgery to replace something that will kill you with something that can be managed
- selection of the valve is what you now have to participate in (back to Marcus's second point)
You will hear and read a lot about different options, its important to not reach a conclusion before you have begun the search and before you understand.
I would hope that this site and the people here can offer by our experiences insights into what choices you need to make to be best served for the rest of your life.
Stop thinking about the surgery, and think of the rest of your life and what you want for that. Think of your family and the people who love you and depend on you.
Best Wishes
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