*so* *irritated!*

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scottvant

So, not to keep harping on this or anything, but: To anyone busting their head about when to operate/not to operate/operate before the holidays/wait until spring/I get a new job/the kid gets a little older/I retire or WHATEVER...

To briefly recap my situation for those who don't know--about a year ago I started to get sick. Day after Thanksgiving, diagnosis is bicuspid aortic valve (until then, undiagnosed) with 4+ regurg and active endocarditis. Previous history--no heart trouble, active bodybuilder with weekend forays into long bike rides and skydiving. Healthy resting pulse, 100% asymptomatic--no breathlessness, no swelling, absolutely no indication of heart trouble whatsoever. Doctor assumes my BAV was either not leaking or only VERY MILDLY stenotic, if at all.

In other words, valve was leaking for at most, 6 weeks, as far as they can tell... Granted, quite severely by the time of my operation, but still.

WHAT I'M SO IRRITATED ABOUT:

Met again this week with cardiologist. Two months post-op, he finally tells me about my enlarged LV/LVH/whatever. At that Two-month mark, he says, "no weightlifting for six months, ride your bike all you want, go ahead and train for that 585-mile AIDS Ride next summer. Four months post-op, I go on Coreg, cos pulse rate is not going down on as a result of monitored cardiac rehab alone. Most recent consult (yesterday, ~10 months post-op), word is--nix on weightlifting of any kind until directed otherwise, nix on the 585-mile bike ride until Summer 2005 (if at all), pretty much moderate exercise only until directed otherwise.

In other words, heart conditions developed during those SIX WEEKS (only!) of leaking are, at the moment, showing less-than-encouraging signs of regressing, if at all. The road to Wellville is a long one, apparently.

I do realize of course that there are people with tougher rows to hoe than me and with more conditions to overcome and any number of complications I could be considering but am not. I guess I'm having a real problem dealing with the fact that a year ago, I was a perfectly healthy 34 year old athlete and now, I'm a heart patient on blood pressure pills, told really not to go back to the gym (I mentioned I might not be able to resist the siren call of the weight room if I went back to a gym to do cardio workouts and it was suggested I work out at home instead--a depressing, make-me-feel-like-an-invalid suggestion if ever there was one...)

Oooh, yuck. That sounded like a pity party. Not intentional. But what the hell--I wrote it, I'll leave it.

My point being, in hindsight, if I'd have had even a few weeks of notice what was going on, I'd have gone under the knife at the first sign of trouble and spared myself what looks like is going to be a nice, long, slow recovery, nursing a damaged heart muscle back to health.

Scott(y), be careful people--it's a jungle [in] there.

(PS--is a dilated aortic root different than an aortic aneurism? My aortic root is 4.3--that sounds bad... Is it?)
 
Scott,
Hind sight is so perfectly 20/20. I was 26 when I started having real problems with my mitral valve. Nasty arrhythmia problems that meds really wouldn't allieviate very well. I had a very cautious (and very well known and respected) cardiologist who put off my valve replacement until the last possible moment because he knew I'd be living with a mechanical valve, taking coumadin, the rest of my (hopefully) long life. I was so physically debilitated by the time they did the replacement at 32 it took me a long time to recover. I read with jealousy the posts from people who end up feeling 100% after surgery (and praise God, that they do). I feel pretty good, but there are limitations to what I can do. I know now that surgery was most likely put off too long. But I do understand the need for caution that my card. felt. I'm grateful to him for so many things that I really can't be angry with him for his caution. Unfortunately he is now deceased.

So I understand your frustration. I still get frustrated 12 years post-op. But on those days, I try to look at the positive.

Go easy on yourself and enjoy each day for what it brings.

Best wishes,
Karlynn

PS - I have a friend who did a long AIDS bike ride the last 2 summers. I think his is here in the Midwest. Where is the ride you spoke of?
 
Hi Scott-

You have every right to express those feelings. This is the right place to do it. You have had such a major, major life-changing situation which developed with lightening speed. You have not had any time to make any kinds of adjustments in your thinking or activities. And on top of that you are a young man who had been exceedingly active physically, all of your life. One day you're active and healthy, and the next day you have serious health problems.

It's a terrible scenario. I don't have any magic words of wisdom. I think this is something most everyone on this sight has had to face at one time or another. Most of them have had more time to adjust, but there are also some, just like you who got it handed to them all at once when they were supposed to be at their prime.

No one wants this to happen to themselves. It isn't something that is going to go away. I think that time will be your ally. Also please remember that depression comes into play with many heart surgery patients and if you feel that this is something you cannot deal with and is ruining your ability to enjoy life, the best thing you can do is to see a specialist and get some medication. It has made a world of difference to many folks.

Take care, Scott and God Bless.
 
Scott I gotta say they you hit the nail on the head 100%. I've tried to tell people this very same thing until I'm blue in the face. They really do not realize the danger and damage that can and is being done. We can sit here and tell them forever, but some have to find out the hard way and that's what stinks, especially if it could have been prevented. You were an unfortunate case. Maximum damage in a very short period of time. None the less, it should be a very strong and clear warning to others as to what can/will/ did happen.

I may upset some here, but I have to say this out of good conscience, just because you have valve choices does not mean take one now have another surgery later. This is something you really only want to go through 1 time. Your playing Russian Roulette by thinking you can go through other surgeries in the future. The main thing with this surgery is to SAVE YOUR LIFE, not be some elective thing that can be done when you feel like it or done over again because you wanted a particular valve. Bottom line folks, if they don't fix you now, there won't be any later. You won't need to worry about working out, being with family, watching your children grow, watching and enjoying your grandchildren, etc, because you will not be alive.

I don't know if it can be put any stronger then that. If I offended someone with this statement, perhaps you should reevaluate just what it is that's important in your life, while you have a life to give these things the thought.
 
hi scott!
i'm so sorry you are going through this. you must be so disappointed.
i imagine you went into this hoping to come out and be better than new, right?
it seems that it doesn't always work that way (i'm sure you've read numerous posts showing that).
i hope things level out and keep stable for awhile so that you can basically do workouts, for now, and not
roverexhert yourself. atleast it's a workout??
please let us know what happens and how you are.
wishing you all the best, sylvia
 
"I read with jealousy the posts from people who end up feeling 100% after surgery (and praise God, that they do). I feel pretty good, but there are limitations to what I can do. I know now that surgery was most likely put off too long." - Karlynn

Karlynn, you expressed EXACTLY what I've been feeling for the past 15 months since my surgery !

I was diagnosed with Aortic Stenosis one month after my retirement. My cardiologist recommended AVR immediately. After getting a second option, based on a TEE, another cardiologist and surgeon concurred that surgery at that point was premature (aortic valve opening 1.2 cm sq). The second cardiologist was hoping to get 3 to 5 years out of my sick vavle.

ONE year later, it was nearly closed. It took 2 months to meet and find an acceptable slot in my famous surgeon's schedule. I suspect I was going downhill FAST in those last 2 months. I believe I got to surgery just in time and wonder if some of my post op 'challenges' could have been avoided by proceeding before my aortic valve was down to 0.8 cm sq.

IMHO, LATER IS NOT BETTER when it comes to AVR.

'AL'
 
Scott,

If I were you I would be MAJOR p----d off! It just don't seem right. 6 weeks is a quick descent into the abyss of major physical problems in ones' life. Especially a young life.

What can you do, except, accept the challenge of your situation and use the discipline developed from physical training to overcome both the physical and mental barriers to continuing a fullfilling life.
You seem to be full of spirit, enough to take on the challenge, grab your future in both hands and say " I can overcome this and I WILL".
If you can dream, you can move forward. -- my best to you
 
Hi Scotty,

So sorry to hear that you are continuing to experience difficulties. I hope that you are granted the patience to endure the long road to wellville. Last year my life too changed from very healthy to that of a heart patient. Man, that was rough. Similar to you, I had bacterial endocarditis. Yuck.

My thoughts are with you as you continue to recovery. Keep positive, take it slow - the road to recovery is best taken gradually - and hope to hear positive news soon.

Melissa
 
thank you

thank you

Scott, I appreciate the message - cut to the chase - it'll bring all of us up short and remember just what's what. You and Ross and everyone are so right about setting priorities. First priority is save your life; the other stuff will fall in line.

I'm really sorry you're having trouble getting better. Frankly, for a long time after surgery I judged my recovery by the fact that I could lie down and sleep instead of sitting up. I felt truly blessed. I tend to lose sight of that as the months go by and I don't lose weight and I don't do better on the treadmill, etc. But the fact is that I'm well. Certainly not in great shape, but weller.

I love playing with my grandbabies and sitting in the sun and reading a good book. Sometimes we have to look for the flowers to smell them.

I know how much your physical condition means to you. It'll come - take the long view. Last year, there really wasn't a long view.

Vent - it's good for all of us.
 
putting it off

putting it off

Hi Scotty,
It is really hard to have this thrown at you at such a young age! My husband was 21 when he had his avr. Now at 42 he has achieved heaps in those 21 years, but it doesn't always come easily. He too needs a repair and as he is healthy and relatively young, we requested that it be done now so that his recovery would be faster than when his health and age declined, but our specialist dsiiagrees, and say to wait. Your situation is a good reason for further discussion, as it doesn't take a long time for damage to occur.
Good luck, take a deep breath and go with it.
My motto is don't worry about what you can't control. We can't always control our total health unfortunately!
Donna
 
scott

scott

I'm one of those that waited, after I was told "it's time", I think that's why my recovery seem so much longer than others who have had the same or similar procedures.

But now, I'm going by the book, exercising every day, monitor coumadin level careful, keeping my heart in a lot better shape then I did pre-op.

Ross is right, Who would want to go through this surgery a second time???, "NOT I". I plan to stay fixed!

My advise, follow the Doctors orders, if you push your heart too hard you could cause further damage, slow and steady, and you might again get to weight train the way you've done before.

Terry
 
Scott, I think it is a tough decision at any time and there are always the surgery risks to consider when trying to define a time. I too was without symptoms (that I knew of anyway), but when my cardio said I would need the surgery within 2-5 years, I didn't understand why I should wait if it was inevitable. Why not have it while younger and with good insurance. So he did a heart cath to determine the real level of stenosis (I also had a bicuspid valve from birth that I didn't know about) and whether I had any clogged arteries. The result was that my arteries were good, but the stenosis was serious and left ventricle quite enlarged, and I really needed the surgery as soon as possible which was done within a month. I was lucky and made out fine--that was almost 5 years ago. However, I don't think I came back at 100% either. I too am athletic and was back at work in 6 weeks, walking 4 miles at the end of a month post surgery and soon playing tennis. Even now though there is lingering fatigue and palpitations that "normal" people don't seem to deal with as much. I guess my point is that getting the true "right" time is hard--earlier is better, but not a panacea. Good luck in your recovery--you'd be a great role model for even younger athletes struggling with all kinds of disabilities. Susan:cool:
 
Scott

Scott

I know how you feel. I had a different situation, but had to go through a period of questioning on choice. I found I had a BAV about one year before my heart started to significantly compensate for the severe AS. Was told that the surgery should be done within the next six months, maybe a year. I chose to have it done right then.

I went with a Homograft (what valve did you get?) since I was told I should be able to get about 15 years without coumadin, and the surgery went well. However, on my first echo two weeks after surgery, I found that the new valve was leaking (prolapsing cusp). As the valve got worse I was told to back off cardio exercise and no weight lifting. This news certainly dampened my spirits, after I thought now I'm on the other side - good times ahead. We were able to get about 8 months out of the valve before another AVR. This time I went with a Mechanical and this appears to be working well. I certainly hope you have some more options in the future that will provide the lifestyle you desire, however, after heart surgery, there will always be some things that will permanently change.

I am now on coumadin, but after two months, I think I'm beginning to get a handle on how it affects my body and am feeling much more comfortable with the potential bleeding (does not seem to be a problem I think much about at this point).

I am a dedicated athlete myself with cycling as my first choice due to osteoarthritis in my knees. At 7.5 weeks after my second AVR, I just completed a ride this weekend for MS of about 30 miles in just over two hours. Keep the faith and good luck.
 
Everyone--

Thanks to all for the kind and speedy replies. Sorry I've been absent again--work keeps getting really busy with no warning. How dare they use up my valuable socializing time during the day? :)

Random comments:

Karlynn:
<<PS - I have a friend who did a long AIDS bike ride the last 2 summers. I think his is here in the Midwest. Where is the ride you spoke of?>>

California, San Francisco --> L.A. 585 miles. Apparently it's not out of the question, one day, just not next summer.

Nancy:
<<You have every right to express those feelings. This is the right place to do it.>>

Well allrightythen. You know I had to stop checking on all my "heart surgery forums" for a few weeks there so it wouldn' t feel so all-consuming. Every once in awhile it all bubbles up to the surface and I just have to get it out. I promise I'll get better at actually being here to HELP, once in awhile, too. :)

Sylvia:
<<i imagine you went into this hoping to come out and be better than new, right?>>

Only because that's what the doctors told me what would happen. They were very "good news, bad news" about the whole thing when I was admitted. "OK, you have to have this big surgery cos of this heart defect you didn't know about, BUT, you'll feel better than you have in YEARS after we fix you up..." Some of that I've noticed--my entire life I have waged war with my alarm clock every day of the week. Now I pretty much just wake up at 6 or 7 in the morning, even on the weekends. I don't seem to need near as much sleep as I used to. On the other hand, the rehab back to cardio fitness has been a long road, and probably will contiue to be for some time--my workout times are just now getting up to what they were a year ago and my intensity is still only around 50%... Trying to balance between working hard enough to do some good but not so hard that I do damage...

Georgia:
<<... take the long view. Last year, there really wasn't a long view.>>

Which is an excellent point. Those closest to me, and who saw how almost-dead I was in the hospital, don't put up with much whining from me. "Do you need the 'Do you know how lucky you are to be alive' speech again, they ask..." :) And I need to be reminded of that once in awhile. Night before my surgery when I felt like I was going to die, I sort of made peace with that fact. Ok, if that happens, you've had a pretty full life, I told myself. When I came out the other side and it was apparent I got to stick around, I was immediately appreciative of that, in a big way. It's like I had this second lease on life--ok, close call, but now, the time I've got left feels like more of a gift, not to be squandered.

Which is, of course, I think why I get frustrated. "OK, I'm back, I feel great, what do you mean I still have to take it easy?"

Conk:
> (what valve did you get?)

Ye olde Ross Procedure. And so far so good, I guess. Next echo is in late Jan or early Feb, and I'll be looking for telltale signs of any pathology on either valve. (Did I mention I've since learned to interpret echo findings--can't read the pictures, of course, but I always get copies of the numbers and do my own math. I'm a control freak that way...)

Scott(y), thanks again everyone for listening... :)
 
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