Smoking after valve replacement surgery

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Peggyanne

Active member
Joined
Feb 19, 2009
Messages
27
Location
Swartz Creek, MI
Any comments would be appreciated....I am not sure that my brother is going to have the will power to continue being done with it! I am afraid he is going to start up again....
 
You are very nice to worry so much about your brother but there are really no suggestions to keep him from starting up again - it is something he has to decide. You could suggest gum, nicotine inhalers, patches, etc. but, if he really wants to smoke he is going to smoke.
 
I am going through this myself with my mother. she smoked all her life and has several lung issues because of it. She lived with us for 2 years after my dad passed away, and I would NOT allow her to smoke. She did secretly and when I found out I almost threw a gasket, the way I found out is she woke up one morning barely breathing, so off to the ER. The doctor, again, said give it up or die, so she gave it up again. She just recently moved near my sister in Arizona and she is smoking again. Now sure you can say she is a grown woman, she can do what she wants, but the thing is it does not only affect her, it affects my family, I am NOT happy with my sister because she is the type to say it is her choice, but what she does not understand is that this WILL kill her, sooner then later. It is called tough love. The way I see it is if you really care for your family member, you do everything possible to stop the smoking. The ultimate choice is the persons, but it is your responsibility to do everything possible to help that person live a healthy life.
 
There really is nothing you can do about it. If he wants too, he will. At some point in life, he'll decide that it's no longer good for him. Until then, just love him for who he is and don't ride him about it. I find the more I get on my wife about her habit, the more she smokes. It's just not worth it.
 
Encouragement, love and positive support might help. Without it he may fall apart and start up again.
If I had any support I may not have started again myself.
 
I will say straight out that smoking is an addiction my husband began smoking when he was 12 years old, he is now 59. He in the 34 years we have been together has quit and re-started several times. I used to get on his back all the time, but finally I just told him that I wished he would quit cause I wanted to get old with him. So far he has cut down but not yet quit. Like my yo-yo weight thing, it is something that won't be addressed until the person is ready to face it and deal with it. Try to be there for your brother, but don't scold him cause he knows what he is doing is bad for him but his mental baggage won't let him quit until he is mentally ready. I wish him and you all the very best.:)
 
Encouragement, love and positive support might help. Without it he may fall apart and start up again.
If I had any support I may not have started again myself.
I agree but there is a very fine line for some folks that runs between support and outright nagging (or even worse).
 
I never nag him about it.......

I never nag him about it.......

It just really bothers me because when the surgeon came out to talk to us after the surgery he told us that his valve will hopefully last about 15 years and if he smokes it will knock at least 5 years off that estimate. I know he doesn't want to repeat this surgery again in 8-10 years. I know it is up to him, but he has such a good start on it.....it has been 2 1/2 weeks. He is seeing the surgeon today. He is still having a problem with getting short of breath.....it just seems that smoking will make it 100 times worse. I know though, that ultimately, it is up to him.
 
I have heard of some Heart Surgeons who refuse to operate on patients who cannot or will not quit smoking.

If your brother refuses to get help to stop smoking,
it could very well shorten his life expectancy.

My belief is that No One will be able to help him until HE wants to quit.
 
I smoked for almost 40 years. I have not smoked since my AVR . It will be 2 years in July. I still struggle with it. I LOVE my family and did not smoke to spite them. It is horribly addictive. Not only the nicotine, it's the motion of smoking, the act of inhaling ect. I think every smoker is well aware it is not good for us. Your brother will quit when he is ready. I agree w/Ross, the more someone got on me about smoking, I smoked more. It ticked me off! I do hope your brother quits. Please remember, it is a huge struggle.
 
Encouragement, love and positive support might help. Without it he may fall apart and start up again.....

I totally agree! I am having this problem with one of my nephews who keeps promising but he is too far away to help him better! It is an addiction and a habit...I know someone who carries a 'licorice' stick everytime he needs a cigarette! and he eats it later. It is workig for him! Buy him some from 'David and Harry' as a gift!
 
My wife calls me a Carrie Nation Health Nut. I quit smoking over 30 years ago. I eat well now and I exercise (walked 6 miles today). My AVR was 6 weeks ago. I could quote platitudes galore to no avail, but the bottom line is that without our health we have nothing!. I am so very grateful that I get it! My wife is a genius w 2 PhD's etc but she smokes. I know your frustration. I guess that even though we love our families we can really only be responsible for ourselves. And I intend to live as healthy a life as I can and live as long as I can, Period.
 
Remind him that the first few days are always the hardest, and since he'll be in ICU then the hospital ward, he won't be able to smoke then - and if he can make it that far, he's already done the hardest part! Might also want to point out how bloody painful coughing is post-op and sucking back on a cigarette isn't going to help that any.

I'm dealing with the same problem with my uncle (who's like a father to me). He had given up smoking and 4 weeks later ended up in hospital with chest pains. He didn't need surgery, but require an angiogram. 2 months later and he started smoking again!!! I am SO pissed at him - especially since his father died very young due to smoking related illness (which also saw him needing a leg amputated) and his mother is going blind from a smoking related illness.

I've told him I didn't have a choice in having heart surgery because I was born with a defective heart, but the fact that he is consciously choosing to increase his risk of heart attack and going through the same thing - especially in light of recent events - is insulting, upsetting and downright stupid! I know he has to decide to give up for himself, but it's hard to stand by and watch :(

I hope your brother has more sense.
 
Quit smoking, eat no meat, walk 6 miles a day, make sure you are at your ideal weight, drive under the speed limit, get 8 hours of sleep,look both ways before crossing the street, make sure you have a reserve chute before jumping out of the plane, etc. Net Net is that we all probably have sins that may shorten our lives. On the other hand we owe it to those that we care about to help them live a longer life. I try to help my loved ones see their sins but I have my own demons that I do not seem to be able to tackle.
 
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