She's my BABY

[lauriesmom]

She might be 45 but SHE'S MY BABY and I am scared. Her Dad and I will be with her for the surgery (mitral valve replacement) and I will be able to stay with her for as long as she needs me. I am not good when any of my "kids" are hurt or hurting. I was the run in place mom with my hands over my eyes when they were hurt while Dad did the necessary aid and repair duties. I am somewhat better now.....six kids, countless stitches, broken bones and 11 grandchildren later.....I have developed coping abilities. I would. however, like to know a bit about the after care, at home procedures.

This is such a comforting site.......thank you for your efforts. Laurie's Mom

 

[Ross]

Hi Lauries mom and welcome to our little home.

After care- Well there will be no running, jumping, picking up kids, cats, furniture, laundry, etc.

Honestly, when she comes home, have everything set up so that she can get to it without having to climb or bend over. Get a recliner for her to sleep in. She may or may not use it. Get the floor paths cleared for straightaway access, cooking utensils at chest level etc. Many others with chip in with more advice, but these are some of the basics. You want to be sure nothing is going bang on, jump on, or in any other way, harm the breast bone until it heals which can take up to 6 months.

Does she have a surgery date yet? How about where and a little more history if you would please. I'm moving this to presurgery since really, that is what this is about.

Again, welcome aboard.

 

[hensylee]

know what you mean. My little boy is 38.,

1. be sure you are close when she showers at first.

2. if she is large busted, get a sleep bra that snaps in front

3. tell her 'don't sneeze' it's really evil

4. don't hover - she will let you know if she gets in trouble and needs you
4.a - allow her to recover at her own pace

5. make sure she walks and does her breathing exercises - per hospital instructions she will bring home w/her

6. make sure she has a small pillow in the hospital if they don't provide one. they will tell you why

7. call dr's office if she has any questions - that's what they are for and what they tell you when she leaves

8. water at bedside in case she needs pain med during the night.

9. let us know when her date is, as Ross asked. We always want to know. And then tell us when it's over so we know or we will worry and hunt you down.

10. Good luck in her trek up and over the mountaintop.

Others will have more, as Ross said.

 

[labguides]

I understand your feelings. Our daughter was 26 when she had mitral valve repair. Nancy can give you a list of things to take with you to the hospital -- for you.

Be prepared for seeing your daughter after surgery. She will probably be on a ventilator and feel cold to the touch. Prior to our daughter's surgery, I thought I would fall apart when I saw her. But.. something kicked in, and I was completely calm. I did fall apart when the surgeon called us while we were in the waiting room to tell me she was "off the pump".

Home care thoughts:
1) recliner is essential
2) have something by bed/recliner so she can signal you. Our phones have intercom.
3)meds were to be taken around the clock. The first couple of nights, I set the alarm to get up and give her meds. After that, I put the meds to be taken during the night by the recliner and she set the alarm.
4) Food may not taste good.
5) We used a pill container with multi sections and put her meds out a week a time. Different meds were taken at different times of the day -- my husband worked out a plan for this.
6) encourage her to breath deeply
7) once our daughter felt a tad bit better, we played games in the evenings which got her laughing -- and breathing deeply.
8) get a shower bench and then stay nearby when she showers. Showering will be exhausting.
9) if she has long hair, get De-tangler for kids. I sprayed that on her hair in the hospital and at home, so I could brush her hair. nurse recommended that she keep the surgical "hat" on her head to prevent tangling, but it drove her nuts.
10) Encourage her to walk.
11) hospital arranged for visiting nurse who reassured us, for physical therapist as her incision was under right breast, and she was afraid to use that arm.
12) our daughter was thirsty for at least 3 weeks -- and wanted ICE cold drinks.

As I think of other things, I will send them on to you. Feel free to contact me at [email protected]

 

[Laurz]

To all who responded to Lauriesmom. Thanks, I know that your recommendations will be helpful for both her and I. (by the way this is Laurie). No surgery date yet. Just got news yesterday that surgery was necessary. Doing the financial stuff tomorrow and then go from there. One of us will let ya'll know. Thanks again for all the support. Laurie

 

[Christina L]

Laurie's Mom:

Laurie's Mom:

You have been given some great advice from others.

I would say just be "there" for your daughter. My Mom died 3-1/2 years ago of breast cancer and when I had my surgery almost 16 months ago I missed her being there with me something terrible.

I would have to say that was the hardest part of the whole surgery. Even though I sensed my Mother's and Father's presence, I wanted them physically there to make things "all better."

Just having her mom there, will help Laurie to heal and move forward.

God bless -

Christina L.

 

[dawnwit15]

Hi there

Hi there

Hi Laurie's Mom:
Welcome to the site. I can sympathize with your struggle. I watched my mother have open heart surgery (quadruple bypass) and then my mother watched me have open heart surgery (mitral valve repair). I had my surgery a year ago at the age of 29 and my parents had a very difficult time watching me go through it also. Your not alone. No matter how old you are it's always a great comfort to have Mom & Dad there with you for support. Laurie is very lucky to have you both. Everyone else has advised of a list of post-op care instructions for you to take. I was very emotional after the surgery and after wheaning myself off the morphine, so it was nice to have their shoulders to cry on. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Dawn

 

[BudEBoy]

This may sound funny or stupid BUT DO NOT MAKE HER LAUGH IT HURTS LIKE HELL

 

[Georgia]

A few additional suggestions . . .

A few additional suggestions . . .

It must be awful to know your kid needs this; I'm always braver for me than for my children.

Plan to massage her neck and upper back; they pin your arms behind you to get at the chest cavity and this causes awful cramping and pain after surgery. Strangely enough, although the pain meds I took at home controlled the chest discomfort very well, they didn't touch the shoulder and back pain. Only massages several time a day helped with that.

Be sure she has a will and durable power of attorney. We don't like to address these, but the reality is that it's better to have them than not.

She needs to have her teeth checked and all work done prior to surgery. Might as well get going on this so she won't have to hustle around getting it done and possibly delay surgery.

I'll put my vote in for recliner; have her try them out and find one that fits her. I lived in mine for 3 months. Many of us were not able to sleep lying flat post-surgically.

She'll be very cold after surgery; don't put away the winter-weight robes and nightgowns. A small quilt or warm throw is a most wonderful thing when one's inner thermostat is out of kilter.

Dry shampoos are nice for the hospital. After surgery there are a lot of chemicals in you and you can smell them being excreted.

She ought to take her own pillow to the hospital rather than trying to fight hospital-issue; really helped me sleep comfortably after surgery. Plan to pitch it or have it cleaned after getting home.

She'll really look awful immediately after surgery; my husband was totally weirded out in spite of warnings. Be prepared. The bloat and color go away quite fast.

I'll also support the "don't hover" proviso. My husband went back to work the second week I was home and I was glad. He was only about 3 minutes away in case of emergency.

You're a good mom; it'll be wonderful for her to have you there. Stay in touch.