Rude 'I will survive'! Do not read if easily offended!!

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Emma

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 2, 2004
Messages
1,004
Location
Portsmouth UK
I just found this sooooo funny I had to share it - hope it doesnt upset anyone!Emma
xxx

"I will survive"

At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
when you said you had 10 inches Lord I almost died,
but I'd spent oh so many years just waiting for a man that long,
that I grew strong, and I knew that I could take you on.

But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a big Mac and you've bought me a french fry,
I should have known that it was bullsh*t, just a sad pathetic dream,
should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans.

Go on now go, walk out the door,
don't you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4,
weren't you a prat to think I wouldn't catch you out,
don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count.

Chorus:
I will survive, I will survive,
Cos as long as I have batteries, My sex life's gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex with a handful of latex,
I will survive,
I will survive...
hey hey.

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing short and proud,
But to hell with all your egos and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed.

Go on now go, walk out the door,
don't you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4,
weren't you a prat to think I wouldn't catch you out,
don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count.

(Chorus)
 
As i posted this my husband was yelling stop, you can't post that there!! He reminded me how different our humour over here can be to the US and how we get away with a lot more on tv and stuff than you do there, so I've told Ross to feel free to remove this if anyone feels even remotely offended by it.

I found it funny and it came from someone who had posted it on our UK heart support group - 'Heartline' ... but perhaps all these years in the CHD world have finally warped me! lol

Emma
xxx :)
 
I say good for you! With all the dour news these days, it's good to have a laugh. And frankly, if Ross can put out a call for bathing beauties, I think it's fine turn about to wax poetical about male prowess (or lack thereof). :) Kate
 
Emma...that was sooooo funny! As I read , I was "singing" it in my head...if you know what I mean :) ....Wonder could we persuade Gloria Gaynor to record this version !!!!!!!!!!
 
Oh dear , I was singing too...
C'mon girls we could have some real fun here up against Ross and his "bathing-beuties" ...

so who else can find some more ?
 
Lol !

Lol !

I could actually hear that song in my head as I read the new lyrics into it!.....I had to reach for my pillow I laughed so hard!....Thanks for the lift
 
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