Recovery homes?

[Ovie]

I'm looking for some input or suggestions and hoping I can get some help.

As of right now, I have no place to go after my surgery, my mom and my dad are helping with costs, transportation, and moral support up there, however once it's over they seem to want nothing to do with me. My moms house is out of the question and my father(such a kind man, god bless him) wont allow me to recover there, I have aunts and uncles, but they all have families and I get along great with them, however am getting the feeling that I'd be nothing but a burden to them based off of their actions and demeanors. I really do have a good family, however they're just selfish and I guess are unwilling to take me in after. My grandmother who lives in Florida suggested a nursing home, but also said I may be too young.

Please don't feel pity for me, but I really am in a jam here, and was curious if anyone knew ANY info on possible facilities that would take me in? Obviously where I live is a factor and if there is even anything around me that does that type of thing is something I'm looking to.

Any info would be great, thank you.

 

[epstns]

Ovie, I would check with the hospital where you plan your surgery. Most of the hospitals have rehabilitation facilities they work with, and not all the patients sent there are elderly. Sometimes there are patients like yourself, who just need that extra support for a while after surgery but have no other options. I would be quite surprised if they couldn't suggest a couple of facilities available to you. You would also have to clear it with your insurance company, but the hospital or rehab facility might be able to help there.

 

[kfay]

Ovie, where do you live now? Do you live alone or with your parents? If you live alone, there have been many people on here who have gone home alone after surgery. Obviously, it isn't an ideal situation, but if you can line up help with things like rides to Dr's appts and grocery shopping, etc., assuming you don't have any complications, you may be able to do that. If you live with your parents, I find it hard to believe they won't let you come back home afterwards. You are young, and I'm assuming you are otherwise healthy, so hopefully, your recovery will be pretty straight forward. You aren't going to come home and be an invalid lying in bed all day. You should be able to get around your home well and really take care of your basic needs yourself. Again, other than transportation issues, and not being able to lift heavy things (so no laundry for a little while, or say vacuuming), you won't need this huge amount of day to day actual care giving. My husband stayed home with me for a couple of days once we got home from the Mayo, but then started going back to work for a big part of the day and I was absolutely fine being home alone.

I'm sorry that your family doesn't seem to be very supportive of you. Have you actually sat down and had conversations with them regarding these issues? What are they concerned about specifically? Rehab hospitals are an available and the hospital will be able to point you in the direction of one, but I would bet (again barring complications) they won't really keep you for long.

Kim

 

[selma]

I agree, check with the hospital. I'm pretty sure someone here on the forum posted that she lived alone so stayed at a nursing/rehab facility after her surgery. When my dad was at such a place, there were a number of younger folks there who were recovering from various surgeries. Good luck!!

 

[Superman]

Really, by the time you go home - as both previous posters have indicated - the most help you'll need is with rides. I would recommend (if you don't have people willing to cook for you) preparing quite a few meals in advance. Things you can put together and stick in the freezer to heat up later. Also make sure you have things arranged that allow for simply navigation and furniture that's easy to get into and out of. I slept in a recliner for a number of weeks post op. Much easier than getting out of bed and more comfortable sleeping than laying flat - for me at least.

When I went in last time - my wife had to go to work (part time) and I had four kids (five now), two of which were in school and a third in preschool. My wife had to spend most of her time taking care of them. My in-laws were also a huge help with the kids and that made things a ton easier. The company and activity were great of course, but beyond rides - there really wasn't a whole lot I couldn't take care of in terms of basic needs.

Perhaps you or the doctors need to sit down with your parents and explain what recovery is really like. You may defend them, but they are being selfish in the extreme and rather obtuse about learning anything here.

 

[Mentu]

I worried about being unable to car for myself and my animals after leaving the hospital. One of the things the hospital watches after surgery is how often you get out of bed and how easily your are moving around. If you are having difficulty they will likely keep you there for another day or so. I was home on day five after surgery and had no problem takigng care of myself. You just take things slowly. Showers, feeding the cats and dog, meals, walking, reading, sleeping fill your day. After a few days home, you start to feel like doing more as you become less sore and begin to rebuild your energy reserves. It is convienient to sock away some of your favorite foods so meals are not a hassel for those first few days. Unless something unexpected arises, you will find that you are not an invalid when you return home. Your goal should be recovery not resting all the time. You have walking to do and using the inspirometer to restore your lung function. Moving around more will also improve your sleep.

Larry

 

[sarahsunshine]

Sorry you are put in this place. Do you have a friend or friend's parent's place that you could stay at?

Or perhaps one of the national or local heart groups (Lyn gave you alink in another thread) would be able to offer a support group or person for you.

 

[Jkm7]

Mass General offered me the choice to go to a rehab facility for a brief time to recover but I wasn't interested and knew I didn't need that. They want someone home with you for the better part of 24 /7 with some breaks for them to run errands etc.

My DH arranged for a woman who had worked for us in the past but became a family friend to be here with me when he had to be in his office. Of course, he would be with me evenings/night.

Our friend came twice and I found I was making her lunch and knew this was silly for her to be hanging around here and thanked profusely to no longer come.

I also do not have a large family to help us. We manage on our own. Thankfully we have nice, kind, generous friends we can count on.

I was fully able to care for myself after both my surgeries. I made sure DH or our friend was here the first few times I showered and washed my hair etc and they walked a few times up the stairs with me so I'd be sure I had the confidence to do so on my own.


I was fine to be here alone.
If you can arrange to freeze some food before you have your surgery, load in a lot of different size pillows as they will be your best friend, keep a phone in your pocket or with you at all times and do not do more than you can do without straining. I was more than able to get up on my own, shower, dress, pour a bowl of cereal, take my walks, rest, set the table for dinner and wash the dishes. Our challenge was 'what's for dinner'. I was not up to cooking per se. Some friends brought a some dinners and that was wonderful. DH did what he could (no cook he!!! ) and we managed fine. I started cooking light meals within ten days or less.

What you will need most is rides for doctor appointments until you are released to drive.
No one can know in advance how strong and independent you will be post op but many of us could and did manage fine pretty much on our own with some pre-planning.

The hospital will arrange visiting nurse if they think you need it, will arrange a rehab facility if appropriate...... they have a full department that does just that.

All best wishes.

 

[Madsometimes]

I am in the UK, so a totally different system here. Before my op, the pre-assessment nurse wanted to know all about who would be at home with me after the op. she said that for the first 2 weeks, I should not be left alone (my dh had to do school run, so we didn't follow that instruction to the letter).

Most of the people having heart ops were in their 60's or older, and many lived alone. These people were transferred to their local hospitals after 5 days, and stayed there until 2 weeks post op. If the local hospital did not have a bed free, then they stayed on the surgical ward, something that is rather unkindly referred to as bed blocking. There was an elderly lady in the bed opposite me who lived alone, and had short term memory problems, who was not being discharged for that reason, and she had not had surgery.

Here, you are not insured to drive until 6 weeks post op, and I think there are no exceptions to this.

If you really think that your family will not help, then I would call your hospital and ask if they have any procedures in place for people who live alone.

 

[Greg a]

Information should be available through the hospital's social worker

 

[neil]

i also live in uk,and the hospital cert wanted to know who was gonna look after me,i found i needed it to, but then i am a wuss,

 

[bradvo]

Ovie, I'd highly recommend setting up some sort of help the first week at home if that is where you end up. Better to be safe then sorry, you can always tell your help you don't need them if your feeling that good.

If home does not work out , set yourself up so you are staying with help nearby.....again, you can always ask for a ride home if that is where you want to be.
Make sure you have your meds worked out, ya don't want to be wondering if ya took them or not and if your medicated that is easy to do.
Take care

Brad

 

[Ovie]

I live with my mom and stepfather as of now, with 5 other kids in the house, I'm the oldest. I've been in and out of living alone since I was 18 but moved back in with my mom once I couldn't continue with my job anymore ( I worked in the steel business ) and havent had a job to save for my own place again. I live in a basement that was once finished but now unfinished ( dust, mold, etc ) fill where I live and before my heart issue came up have provided health complications in the past. There is alot of craziness in this house, lots of mood swings, lots of kids being kids, and I don't feel like its a safe place to recover.

My father however has tons of room but due to his relationships with previous brothers living there he is bitter at the thought of me staying there even for 2 months.

I've known that I'll be able to do simple things after, as uneducated as my parents are about OHS I've discussed to them how things would be if I didn't run into any problems. I've sat down with them both and tried explaining, but they just wouldn't have it, or really comprehend it.

As far as staying with a friend they have become very scarce since I've found out about my surgery. So that's out of the question.

I just need a place to land my feet for awhile. I didn't even think about calling up the social worker at the Hospital. I'll do that Monday. Appreciate the comments.

Thank you.

 

[Jkm7]

Ovie,
Do you have some sort of Community Services Agency in our area?
Maybe they could be a help to you finding subsidized apartment of some sort.... even a room at a rooming house.
You don't need much more than a safe, clean room with very light kitchen privileges as a place to at least be able to recuperate. Until you get back on your feet, perhaps a public agency knows just the place you can count on staying in.

This is not an unsolvable issue but you have to seek help from the professionals around you who do this everyday. They have the listings and connections and ability to help with costs.

We are all here rooting for you and hope you will bounce some ideas around with us. We just might be able to find the solution for you.

You have cyber friends here who send you big hugs.
YOU CAN do this and you will and once you are back on your feet, you can start fresh with a new chance at the life you want.

 

[Ovie]

Ovie,
Do you have some sort of Community Services Agency in our area?
Maybe they could be a help to you finding subsidized apartment of some sort.... even a room at a rooming house.
You don't need much more than a safe, clean room with very light kitchen privileges as a place to at least be able to recuperate. Until you get back on your feet, perhaps a public agency knows just the place you can count on staying in.

This is not an unsolvable issue but you have to seek help from the professionals around you who do this everyday. They have the listings and connections and ability to help with costs.

We are all here rooting for you and hope you will bounce some ideas around with us. We just might be able to find the solution for you.

You have cyber friends here who send you big hugs.
YOU CAN do this and you will and once you are back on your feet, you can start fresh with a new chance at the life you want.

Hey, thank you! I will check into that, I agree, I don't need a kingdom, just somewhere clean and healthy, I'll check into this and see if there is anything around here that could offer assistance, if I find anything I'll let you know and see what you think.

-Andrew

 

[Superman]

You may also want to check into your local churches. I don't know if you're a person of faith or not, but you may find a willingness to help with meals and rides and such from that group of people. Although I can imagine it would be rather uncomfortable introducing yourself to a new group of people by saying, "Hi, nice to meet you! Please help me out!"

 

[carolinemc]

I feel for your Ovie. I have some relations who are ao absorbed into themselves, that they are so self-centered, they would not even help a house fly, much less a roach. I wish you luck in getting some light help. The first two weeks are the hardest, since it is the adjustment and road to recovery period. I will pray for you and hope you will get the assistance you so need. Good luck and hugs for today.

 

[Guest]

Yikes, Ovie ... sure hope it works out and you find a place for while you recover. Good luck ... thoughts/prayers en route.



Cort | 38.m.IL | pigValve + paceMaker + cowValve | 5 MCs + 1 Caprice Classic
* post-surgeryPARTY = 5:30p-10:30p, SAT, 02/11/12 | Beef Villa, 1225 W Spring St, S Elgin IL *
"I'm feeling more alone than I ever have before" __ Ben Folds 5 __ 'Brick'