Putting yourself first, meeting your own needs.

[Ross]

In life, we are encouraged to think of others first. It is seen as a virtue to selflessly address the needs of parents, children, friends, and loved ones, before or sometimes at the cost of our own needs. But this virtue, like any, is best and most meaningful in moderation. Overly caring for others can easily be an unconscious cry for love or a crutch. Devoting all of your time to others can stand in the way of you caring for yourself. Taking care of yourself can feel selfish while taking care of others can seem easier than dealing with your own issues. But addressing your own needs first in some cases is beneficial and vital not only to your own health and well-being, but to your ability to care for others when needed.

We often find ourselves faced with too many responsibilities and those most readily given up are often those most important to us. Ask yourself why. Do you feel the need to prove yourself by being selfless or hope your sacrifice will be acknowledged? Do you feel selfish for wanting things for yourself? Or is it simply more stressful to contemplate your own needs, because they are the ones requiring the most personal effort on your part? Selfless dedication can be frustrating when we don't find the appreciation or love we desire, which ironically leads to putting more effort into others. But when you care for yourself, you affirm your own worth and boundaries. Don't be afraid to put yourself first now and then. Listen to your inner voice and be fair to yourself as well as to others. Have the courage to face your needs and issues head on without putting them off by helping someone else with theirs.

Avoiding caring for oneself is often indicative of great internal struggle. It can be helpful to recognize that you are as deserving of care as any other human and that you, too, function best when your needs are met. Try, when possible, to do something special, take a break, ask for help, and to give your own needs the attention they deserve.
__________________

Can someone translate this for me? Does this mean I'm attractive?

 

[Georgia]

Absolutely . . .

This looks like a reading section from the SAT's. About three sentences in you want to roll your eyes up and fall asleep.

 

[Ross]

Well I thought that is what it was saying.

 

[Karlynn]

My Mother-In-Law (who I love dearly) is president of The Martyres Club. She won't let anyone do anything for her - even to the detriment of her own health. She has raised her children to think that if people do something for them, they should feel badly that someone went out of their way. Hence - they get so wrapped up in feeling badly that they don't appreciate when others do things for them. I've tried to explain to my MIL that letting people do things for her is as much of a gift to the other person as her doing something for them. True, there are people that are just takers, but do we really know that many? I can think of one, maybe two.

Giving is a two way street - if you find yourself always turning down offers of help, stop to consider how letting someone help could be a better gift to them, than the one they gave you.

 

[Ross]

So your telling me that it has nothing to do with my looks?

 

[geebee]

Ross, honey, since I have no earthly idea what the person who wrote that stuff means, it might very well say you are Mel Gibson's twin as anything else.

And, you must always remember, you are always on the top of all of our lists.

 

[Ross]

 

[ALCapshaw2]

Who was the author and where was it published?

 

[Mary]

Well,
It really is hard to resist that big beak of yours.

 

[Ross]

Who was the author and where was it published?

I have no clue Al. Someone posted it at another forum. I figure it came from the great book of self centeredness.

 

[Raecee]

In life, we are encouraged to think of others first. It is seen as a virtue to selflessly address the needs of parents, children, friends, and loved ones, before or sometimes at the cost of our own needs. But this virtue, like any, is best and most meaningful in moderation. Overly caring for others can easily be an unconscious cry for love or a crutch. Devoting all of your time to others can stand in the way of you caring for yourself. Taking care of yourself can feel selfish while taking care of others can seem easier than dealing with your own issues. But addressing your own needs first in some cases is beneficial and vital not only to your own health and well-being, but to your ability to care for others when needed.

We often find ourselves faced with too many responsibilities and those most readily given up are often those most important to us. Ask yourself why. Do you feel the need to prove yourself by being selfless or hope your sacrifice will be acknowledged? Do you feel selfish for wanting things for yourself? Or is it simply more stressful to contemplate your own needs, because they are the ones requiring the most personal effort on your part? Selfless dedication can be frustrating when we don't find the appreciation or love we desire, which ironically leads to putting more effort into others. But when you care for yourself, you affirm your own worth and boundaries. Don't be afraid to put yourself first now and then. Listen to your inner voice and be fair to yourself as well as to others. Have the courage to face your needs and issues head on without putting them off by helping someone else with theirs.

Avoiding caring for oneself is often indicative of great internal struggle. It can be helpful to recognize that you are as deserving of care as any other human and that you, too, function best when your needs are met. Try, when possible, to do something special, take a break, ask for help, and to give your own needs the attention they deserve.
__________________

Can someone translate this for me? Does this mean I'm attractive?

Seems to me, this person wants us to put everyone else's thoughts/feelings after our own... but in an ideal world those thoughts/feelings would co-inside w/ our own wouldn't they.
I must say that although I allowed my situation of little money to keep me from going to the doctor, I would never be so stingie as to take my child's mother from her or my husband's wife. To take care of myself is in it's own way helping to take care of those around me.
It all comes down to choices.

 

[Ross]

I had to read it a couple of times but what it says to me is that, if you don't take care of yourself, you'll be in no shape to help others. I know that feeling well. Women (and some men) hold in their feelings, doing for others constantly until one day, KABAM! You blow. I remember one time (before Mike's surgery) that he was going on and on about the business and all of his problems and how this wasn't working and that wasn't working and all of our $$$ had to go to the business so sorry, but we don't have enough to get groceries, blahblahblahblah....I've always been 100% behind the business and him living his dream but I finally blew up. I had been having 18 hour days, no time for manis or pedis, no reading time, no "down" time, just workworkwork...and I lost it and started bawling and said to him, "someday, just once, I would like to be someone's #1 priority." It really scared him but it brought it into focus for him that supporting someone can be very difficult, no matter how much you love them.

So now, before he goes on his tirades about the shop, he always asks me, "how was your day?" or "how are you doing?" And, surprisingly, I answer. I don't bottle it up as much as I used to. It gives me more of "me" to give to others.

After reading it a few times, I think your right. Just has a very weird ring to it if only read once or twice.