Ptsd

[joanne6]

I don't know who else to ask about this at this point so I will put it out to you all.

I had OHS for mitral valve repair Aug '05. The workup started the middle of July '05 and the conclusion blew me away. I needed surgery for replacement or repair of the valve. There were problems, of course, with the surgery but that is not the issue I am having. Every summer since '05, beginning in mid July I have flashbacks and anxiety related to the events in the hospital. My surgeon does not use Versed which is the drug that causes some amnesia, especially in the ICU. I remember much too clearly what went on the day of and after the surgery.

I am very grateful for the skill of the team who did the surgery and saved me when my airway closed but even though it gets better every year, I still have nightmares and "daymares" about the hospital experience.

Anyone else out there that can relate or offer help I would appreciate it.

 

[Lynlw]

Joanne, Sorry to hear you are still dealing with isses like ths from your surgery, I don't know if you did a search, but there are a few threads about PTSD maybe somthing will be helpful? I now many parents suffer from PTSD, after finding out their baby will be born needing heart surgey pretty soon nd then going thru that, have you tried going to any therapist or doctors who specialize in PTSD? I THINK there are also ones who specialise in helping people with medical problems like OHS. IF you haven't maybe that could be a place to help, mybe your cardiologist could reccomend someone in your area. I hope it gets better.

 

[Mentu]

Joanne, this is a problem that troubles a significant number of people after heart surgery except many never recognize it for what it is and never think to seek help. As you probably know by now, PTSD can be caused by many experiences and heart surgery is certainly one of those. Acknowledging that it is happening is part of the process of healing. Talking about it is another aspect of treatment but I would encourage you to find a counselor with experience helping others work through it. You should also speak with your family doctor who may be able to help you deal with some of the symptoms and provide you with contact information. You are not the only one dealing with this, Joanne.

Larry

 

[Michellemar]

Joanne, thanks for putting it out there. I'm so relieved (except sorry ) that PTSD gets other people, too. I remember cardioversion out of nowhere...well they said the word and I was thinking, hmmmm....is that a word for...and didn't realize till I was home for months that that was what happened (had Afib) it's not the memory so much (didn't hurt at all) as I never even knew they did it till I put it together later. Heart racing as talk about it!!!! Hey I didn't even feel it, and I'm HERE. That's what is SO great about looking back-but I'm HERE! Not there. No wonder our bodies take so long to heal! And more than any other surgery hands down I now can SO appreciate just BEING HERE! Life is such a gift!
Michelle

 

[Faye]

Hi Joanne,
It has been a very long time since I posted - although I lurk daily - but your question sparked something in me. I found out in July 07 that my valve we had been watching since I was a baby had finally seen its last days. August 07 was spent finding a surgeon, having pre-op tests, etc. My surgery was in early September 07. I too had complications and spent a lot longer than expected in the hospital. When I was admitted, it was late summer - hot and green. When I left it was fall - orange, rust, yellow and chilly. I have always loved fall but now when the colors start to change and the fall chill can be felt in the air, I get nauseous. Even seeing a picture or art work containing fall colors gives me an odd/uncomfortable feeling.

I, too, have flashbacks to the hospital - things I didn't remember at first but are triggered by a sound, sight, or scent.

It has been almost 4 years and tho' my physical body feels good, my mind has not healed. I, like Michelle, try to acknowledge the thoughts and feelings and then remind myself to go with the flow and think "but I'm here!"

I hope the road smooths out for you,
Faye

 

[joanne6]

Thank you all so much for sharing with me. I always have felt like I am alone in dealing with these feelings. I used to post here all of the time but time has gotten so tight I don't get on the computer as much as I used to.

It is so helpful just knowing there are other people who have had OHS who deal with some of the same issues psychologically. We always seem to post about the physical but not the emotional problems of going through this type of trauma. I, too, am so grateful that my heart could be repaired and that I am here almost 6 years postop. No matter how much support I got from my family, the only people who really know what this is like are right here on this site.

I do plan to seek counseling after I retire and have the time during the week to see a therapist. There are 2 I have heard about here but not sure if they take insurance. at $80-$100/visit I will not be able to afford them. I will probably need to see a general therapist who, hopefully, can help me work through some of this. My 6 yr anniversary in coming up on Mon. 8/12/11 and things start to get better after that week.

Again, thanks so much for the support. I was afraid no one would relate to this thread.

 

[LL_beanie]

I'm glad you posted this because I think I might share some of the same ptsd problems too.

I had my 2nd OHS in Aug. 2009, and it's been nothing but complications following it. But when I woke up after the surgery, I was in major pain. Since I had already been through one surgery before (20 years earlier), I knew it would hurt & groggy with the chest tube, etc, but it was massive, major pain.

I kept asking for pain killers and the nurse said the doc limited me to morphine, and I reached my limit and they couldn't give me more.

I was dropping in and out of consciousness, but I still remember how terrible it was. That evening, my aunt - who is an RN - came to see me, and I was crying to her that I was in serious pain. She got into a fight with the nurses for them to give me dilaudid, and they kept trying to say no bc the doc didn't recommend it.

I'm not sure what she did, but she made them call someone who could approve it. Literally once they put that into my iv, I went totally out. But it was just awful, and it seems that morphine doesn't really work on me.

I don't have flashbacks specifically, but there are moments where I remember it and it causes major anxiety.

One thing that's helped me - and I know it sounds flaky - is transcendental meditation. It's very different than praying or thinking good thoughts. What helps is that you just sit and let your mind go blank.

Sending good thoughts to you!

 

[joanne6]

I have actally heard more about PTSD after OHS in the past week than in the past 6 years. Tomorrow is my 6 yr anniversary and I have been keeping busy all day today. Took off work tomorrow and planning a nice day celebrating the fact that I am still here and my heart is in good working order.

I have still had some fleeting memories today of 6 years ago and occasional anxiety but have been reminding myself that the reason for anxiety is in the distant past. Will be here tomorrow to post on the actual anniversary. Things start to get better mentally every year after the week of the surgery. See you tomorrow.

 

[Michelle D]

I had PTSD, but as a psychotherapist in training I knew that and after my third month out of surgery I went to a therapist. I'd suggesting finding someone that practices EMDR, it is one of the most effective treatments for PTSD. There are certain criteria to meet to be diagnosed with PTSD, the first criteria you have met but having a traumatic event, criteria B you have described as well (recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the event), the other criteria involve avoiding stimuli associated with the trauma, persistant symptoms of increased arousal, and those must last more than a month, since it's been a few years you have that part covered. PTSD is real and can be treated.