Probably my last post

[ctyguy]

All...Im sorry to say that Im to a point where Im rethinking if need to continue to contribute to this forum. For those who have heart/valve related issues this place can be of great value, I know it was for me. But Im put off by some of the hypocritical posts I see and its just got me rethinking things. I saw an innocent enough non-valve related post by Bonzo get all kinds of less than kind responses and folks questioning if that post belonged in this forum. Yet some of those same people post responses to other non-valve related posts ("Darn Kids", "Hole in the Clouds" as examples) and those are just fine and dandy as long as they don't offend anyone. Maybe Im offended by these two posts. Im using these purely as examples, they do NOT reflect my actual opinion which is that I think ALL posts add value regardless of topic. The diversity of the folks who belong to this forum is what makes it so interesting. Maybe if I put something in those posts complaining will they be closed also ? The bottom line is if your going to put rules in place regarding forum content then it needs to be applied consistently. And if your going to throw stones regarding what gets posted, you should look at your own responses to make sure they are truely forum related.

Best of luck to you all, Im heading back under my proverbial rock. Please feel free to delete this thread if you deem it necessary but I would hope you would leave it in place at least long enough for all of your "regulars" to read.

 

[Cooker]

Everyone is fallible and imperfect ?. Some learn to eat the fish and spit out the bones, some do not ? I hope you find your Utopia ? I have not found mine ? best wishes in your search???

 

[Duff Man]

come on man, the brits always get a beating on forums for their political views...

No really, I think you should stay. Everyone needs everyone to stay, because each one of us, as a contributing member, is what makes this place valuable. It's a symbiotic relationship. The small talk is just that - small talk. There was a fundamental disagreement of ideologies and a breakdown of communication on an opinionated subject. To quote a well known politician, "So?" ... The greater purpose here is valve and cardiac related support, and to leave over small talk seems kind of anti-thepoint.

 

[Mary]

All...Im sorry to say that Im to a point where Im rethinking if need to continue to contribute to this forum. For those who have heart/valve related issues this place can be of great value, I know it was for me. But Im put off by some of the hypocritical posts I see and its just got me rethinking things. I saw an innocent enough non-valve related post by Bonzo get all kinds of less than kind responses and folks questioning if that post belonged in this forum. Yet some of those same people post responses to other non-valve related posts ("Darn Kids", "Hole in the Clouds" as examples) and those are just fine and dandy as long as they don't offend anyone. Maybe Im offended by these two posts. Im using these purely as examples, they do NOT reflect my actual opinion which is that I think ALL posts add value regardless of topic. The diversity of the folks who belong to this forum is what makes it so interesting. Maybe if I put something in those posts complaining will they be closed also ? The bottom line is if your going to put rules in place regarding forum content then it needs to be applied consistently. And if your going to throw stones regarding what gets posted, you should look at your own responses to make sure they are truely forum related.

Best of luck to you all, Im heading back under my proverbial rock. Please feel free to delete this thread if you deem it necessary but I would hope you would leave it in place at least long enough for all of your "regulars" to read.

Scott,
It's hard to affect change when you remove yourself from that which you'd like to change.
I hope you reconsider.

 

[ALCapshaw2]

Your informative and helpful posts will be missed if you leave Scott, especially by "newbies" looking for the kinds of information and support you have provided in the past.

Hopefully all you need is to 'back off' for a while. Then you may want to become more 'selective' in the types of threads you read and respond to.

Please think it over, after 'taking a break' to let your mind settle.

'AL Capshaw'

 

[Phyllis]

Scott, I hope you will decide to stay. There are many here that never even look at the small talk thread and just follow valve related issues, which as you have said is a big help to everyone.

 

[Superbob]

Scott,

Consider: Bonzo himself is not leaving (at least I hope he's not, because I think he contributes a thoughtful perspective, even if it rankles some of us some of the time). We have rough and tumble patches as happen in all families, but then we move forward. We all say things we regret from time to time too; I know I have. You don't get the inflection or tone of voice when you are exchanging typed responses. Miscommunication can occur. More than once, I have gotten over my bruised feelings and moved on and actively participated again because this place is like a home to me.

Your posts have been very informative. Hope you will continue participating,

Cheers,

Bob

 

[ctyguy]

Personally I like giving back to this site, its a commitment I made to myself after my surgery. The support and feedback I had was nothing short of a life saver. And I know based on private messages that I have helped at least one or two folks along the way.

I personally dont have an issue with any topic (short of something that perpetrates violence or hate) to be out of bounds. I've heard about the infamous "pot" thread but never had a chance to read it because it can no longer be accessed. A suggestion was made some time back to have a section for non-heart related discussions/threads. I think it was again Bonzo who started a topic and it generated a bunch of hootin and hollerin. When the suggestion of a place for these topics be created (I concurred) it was shot down saying that the forum is only for Valve topics. Ok...Im cool with that but then apply it fairly.

Odds are I won't leave, thats me getting fired up. I want to help those who are in the shoes I was in 7 months ago prior to my surgery. Thats what this forum is all about and I get satisfaction in knowing Im offering my insite to those that need it most. But if your going to squelch non-related topics then to be fair you should apply it to all. Thats my two cents.

 

[Cooker]

Ok so what?s it going to be ?. You taken your ball and going home or are we going to play? ? I say we play ?batter up

 

[Mary]

Ok so what?s it going to be ?. You taken your ball and going home or are we going to play? ? I say we play ?batter up

I for one will meet you on the field, Cooker.

Now climb back up in your tree!

 

[Bina]

Scott is staying......he is one dang good ball player with lots to contribute!

 

[Cooker]

I for one will meet you on the field, Cooker.

Now climb back up in your tree!

Can I pick the field?

 

[Bina]

Come up here....its harvest time.....!!

 

[Cooker]

Come up here....its harvest time.....!!

Chimps don't harvest .... we sow

 

[Nancy]

Scott-

Please don't leave, and the same to everyone else. I have been on this site for a LONG time (look at the number of big mouth posts I have written )

There are dust ups from time to time, and some people get offended. But they settle down and things go back to normal. Personal attacks are not good, though.

We all need to have everyone's input here. It's a rich and informative site and really worth the effort. And you are right diversity is a plus.

The problem is that when writing here, we cannot see body language, and it becomes very apparent how important that is. Emoticoms help, but can't give all the subtle info that body language gives.

Please everyone, keep that in mind when writing (me included), and reread your post before clicking on it and make sure it can't be misinterpreted.

 

[Karlynn]

Scott, I hope you aren't a casualty of a discussion that has nothing to do with valve replacement, repair or disease. I think people can see, once again, why getting into political argument is just a lose/lose situation for this site. We get into enough tussles with valve discussion! I doubt that Bonzo knew he'd ruffle so many feathers.

 

[Bonzo Dog]

Scott,

Consider: Bonzo himself is not leaving (at least I hope he's not, because I think he contributes a thoughtful perspective, even if it rankles some of us some of the time). We have rough and tumble patches as happen in all families, but then we move forward. We all say things we regret from time to time too; I know I have. You don't get the inflection or tone of voice when you are exchanging typed responses. Miscommunication can occur. More than once, I have gotten over my bruised feelings and moved on and actively participated again because this place is like a home to me.

Your posts have been very informative. Hope you will continue participating,

Cheers,

Bob

There was an amount of forum tension between Superbob and I for a while. We worked it out and now I consider him a forum friend.

Bonzo has no intention of leaving. Scott, you are a voice of reason with much to give, please don't give in to the people on here you have issues with by leaving. Stick at it.

 

[WayneGM]

Odds are I won't leave.....

Glad to hear you are reconsidering your intent to leave. I for one would be sorry to see you go as you have provided good advice and insights to those who need it.

Personally, while I read most posts including Small Talk, I tend to bite my tongue and avoid posting my opinion to any thread that becomes a heated discussion as I've seen too many get out-of-control and things get said that perhaps shouldn't. Ultimately, I just try to remember the underlying purpose of this forum, and the camaraderie we share peacefully 99.9% of the time, and let these other unfortunate incidents pass. They are quickly forgotten and life on VR.com goes on.

Hope to see you around the VR community.

 

[Superbob]

There was an amount of forum tension between Superbob and I for a while. We worked it out and now I consider him a forum friend.

Bonzo has no intention of leaving. Scott, you are a voice of reason with much to give, please don't give in to the people on here you have issues with by leaving. Stick at it.

Absolutely! Superbob is proud to consider you his friend, Bonzo. And again, Scott, you are a valued member. We need all sorts of perspectives here. And outside Small Talk, which is a fun forum, you both contribute a lot to the serious side about pre- and post-op and general health stuff.

 

[Ross]

I'm sorry that you feel rules aren't applied uniformly. Thing is, there are no rules about political or religious postings. There are rules about doing so for the sole purpose of creating flame wars and flaming in general. I have to look at each post on an individual basis and then decide whether it should stay or should it go. Now, I could clean up that thread and have a bunch of people angry because their posts were removed or I can leave it alone and lock it up. The fact of the matter is, the majority of the members do not want these types of postings in the forums. I have to serve all of you and ask only that you keep that in mind when posting. If I'm closing it, there is a reason, if I delete it, there is a reason. One need only to look through the thread to see the reason for it's closing.

I try to allow breathing room in small talk. Sort of a place to unwind and let your hair down. I let a lot of things slide most of the time, but when people start at each other, it becomes a problem for me that doesn't go away until it's stopped, regardless of how it gets stopped. I have Hank standing on my shoulder telling me, "This is a heart surgery support forum, is this thread contributing to that purpose?" If not, what purpose is it contributing too? Sometimes the choices are not easy ones to make.

And no Bonzo, I'm not implying you started it. I moved the posts out of a thread because it was off topic in that particular thread. I know you considered it to be on topic, but it was off topic. If y'all wanna hang someone, I started the thread and I closed the thread. Again, I can go in and clean it up and open it for posting, but more then a few of you don't even want it here, so I don't see a point in doing anything other then closing it.