Pre-surgery pitty party! Very WHINEY!!!

[KristiinSD]

I've got lots of WHINE, so pull up a chair...

My surgery has been scheduled for the 30 of this month, with a cath on the 29th. By the time I get out of the hospital, it will be at least December 5th. Something tells me I will not be able to jump up and "do Christmas" which means I need to do everything before then, when I am feeling so tired...and sick with some bronchial thing.

I also am so resentful that I couldn't have this surgery earlier but for my insurance...The maddening part is that they spent several hundred dollars having a cardiovascular surgeon review my case, only to tell me that I can't go out of network, but to approve my changing networks...seems like a waste of money and my TIME! I could be almost healed by now if I had the surgery at the end of September...

(Told you there was a lot of WHINE, why don't you have some cheese too....). I am also feeling sorry for myself and my child because if something goes wrong and I am back in the hospital (or not out) what will Santa do? Its not like his dad could possible manage this...I guess I need to leave detailed instructions for someone as to where Santa has stashed his gifts.

I also feel miserable in my job...This semester I went from prt-time to full-time and while I am working very littel I feel guilty and confused about whAt I should be doing...My ex works at the same place and I resent that he seems to have it all together work -wise, more money than I do, and less responsibility...

It just all feels so unfair...I met with my new primary care physician who said I need to lose weight after surgery, which I am fully committed to, but I was still reeeling from the realization that during all this waiting, I have gained 15 lbs. I feel like my life has been on hold since June...

(Are you sure you don't want any more cheese? Did you try the bread? Another glass of whine, perhaps?)

Thanks for coming,

Kristi
surgery 11/29

 

[Ross]

Yes yes, please continue........

Kristi you have to stop and think in terms of the big picture. Without surgery, you may never have to worry about Christmas or the job again. Think of it as a temporary hold or are sitting one out. The reward is to have many more in the years to come. Don't you be frettin none about losing weight. You will and lots of it. This surgery will do it to you.

 

[Mary]

Thanks for inviting us Kristin. I never miss an opportunity to party; no matter what the occasion.

It seems that you do have many aggravating things going on in your life and you're about to be hit with a major aggravation on November 30 (read AVR).
You're right; you probably won't feel like doing too much in the way of Christmas preparations so you need to simplify your "to do list" and stockpile presents (if you can).

I understand why you feel resentful about the delay you have experienced. However, resentment is an emotion that rarely serves a practical purpose in terms of making you feel better. You have a wonderful sense of humor, so maybe you can use it to feel less negative about events that are now in the past. I wouldn't waste any more of your time thinking about situations that you can't control. Look to the future and live for each day. . . and Party On
Mary

 

[Karlynn]

What? No cheese and crackers with the whine? Not even a lousy little piece of bruschetta?

Make lists, leave notes, put them in the hands of someone you can trust to get things done should you not feel up to it. That being said - the waiting is truly the hardest part. It's not a good Whine Party without some mind games too. I know you'll do fine. You'll get all fixed up and at this time next year you'll be looking back at a small part out of your life that seemed hugely unpleasant at the time, but was just a bump in the road. Remember (as far as the ex goes) living well is the best revenge.

You won't be dancing around the Christmas tree this December, but I think you will be feeling rather fortunate that the surgery is behind you.

Best wishes.

 

[gadgetman]

Kristi,

WHINE and cheese. What a combination!!!!! I prefer beer (the old redneck in me, I guess).

The choice of waiting was taken out of my hands very early. The only reason I didn't have the surgery in December was the Cardio and Surgeon didn't want me in the hospital during the holidays because of the reduced staff. As others have said, you probably won't be able to jump for joy (OUCH!!! ) for a couple of months after surgery but, take my word for it, the trip over the mountain is well worth it.

Just get those lists made up, the post-nest established, and just sit back and enjoy Christmas with the family.

Good luck on your walk, keep the "party" going as long as necessary and,

May God Bless,

Danny

 

[JimL]

I like wine, I like beer, cheese is all right. This is the year to emphasize that Christmas is way too commercialized, and our lives are far too busy with busy things. This is a good year to sit back, reevaluate, and do something different. Don't worry about all the things you won't have time to do. (These are meant as excuses, reasons, justifications, whatever.)

A few weeks after my surgery (4 years ago this coming Wednesday), an aunt and uncle stopped by and brought me a bag of nuts. Wierd get-well gift, I thought. But I spent many enjoyable hours in the weeks after that shelling those nuts (I don't remember what kind). I hadn't planned on that activity at all, I had plenty of other things to do, but it was wonderful therapy. And I got extra baked goods to use up all those nuts.

I have at least four bottles of wine labeled for the next VRcom reunion....

 

[Phyllis]

You won't be feeling your old self, but you will be a LOT better by the 25th and VERY happy to be home. Don't stress yourself trying to get things done. Dick and I went to his surgeon consult the day before Thanksgiving to get home that night to a message on the machine that he would be having surgery on December 18th. We had 12 people coming for Thanksgiving, but somehow we got through it and I needed that support to convince him that surgery was the right thing to do. I also learned how to depend on my daughter to do most of the Thanksgiving preparation and she was a life saver. Hard as it seems right now, this is going to be the best Christmas present ever- a new lease on good health and lots of holidays to follow.

 

[Curtsmum]

Best of luck for the 30th, i'm sure you can get threw this and still have a wonderful christmas. My son has his check-up on the 25th of this mounth and then will have to have another cath, i'm a little worried because its so close to his birthday the 4th of december but if it ends up the same time, we will just celebrate later. You are entitled to a good whine, i'll just take some misoletoe with that . Just look forward to having a good christmas and keep your spirits up all the best. paula x

 

[geebee]

Just plan on celebrating your newfound health at Christmas and try not to worry about the rest. Let your family & friends worry about pampering you. Plop a recliner in the middle of the group and let everything come to you.

Don't forget the table for the wine and cheese - real stuff for the holidays.

Ignore the job situation right now. I am sure everything seems a little off kilter and all will come into focus once the trauma of the surgery stuff is behind you. And, if it doesn't, get thee out there and find something else to do.

Take care and party on.

 

[MarkRose]

Hi Kristi -
Things really don't seem fair sometimes. I had my first OHS in December 1991 and was released from the hospital on Christmas Eve. Somehow, things just work out. You will have almost a whole month of recuperation before Christmas Day, with the best present ever - a healthy heart!
Think good thoughts and don't sweat it if the holiday isn't your idea of perfect, it WILL be a happy one!
All my prayers, Margaret

 

[joanne6]

Christmas in July or whenever

Christmas in July or whenever

I'll take decaf diet coke or pepsi with my cheese and crackers please. I know that Christmas is important to you-I can read that. I am sure you are scared and apprehensive about the surgery. I have said on this site that I wish I had known about AVR.com before my surgery. I didn't know anyone who had mitral valve repair. I was terrified. My family and friends are supportive but only those who are in this group know what we deal with.
Having your ex at work must be a daily joy (ugh).
Having your surgery the end of Nov, you should start to feel human be Christmas. Other people will have to do the work this year. You can always plan a Christmas in July or any other month to celebrate the holiday and your repaired heart.
Feel free to whine and scream on this site as much as you want. None of this is easy and no one is suggesting that you can't have a pity party if you want. I actually have a very tiny violin that I get out for such occasions.
Take it one day at a time and do what you can. Things will work out.
Joanne

 

[Guest]

Kristi,

I can identify with....


...insurance issues.


...feeling miserable in the job.


(and)


...feeling it is all unfar.


Thus, rest assured that you are not alone ... and that thoughts/prayers are coming your way.


Cort, "Mr MC" / "Mr Road Trip", 32swm/pig valve/pacemaker
MC:family.IL.guide.future = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/
chdQB = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/quilt.html
"Why can't that be me?" ... 3 Doors Down ... 'If I Could Be Like That'

 

[KristiinSD]

Thanks all! The bar is now closed.

Thanks all! The bar is now closed.

No more WHINE! I met with my new cardiologist today and he was very nice. He's had two mitral valve repairs, both at Cleveland but assured me that San Diego was a great place and life would be fine.

I appreciate so much having you folks to turn to...it won't be my child's best Christmas, but it won't be his worse. I know my inability to be active is unpleasant for him so he will be grateful to have a more active mama once this is behind me!


Thanks again you wonderful people.

Kristi
in San Diego
mr on Nov 30, 2005

 

[Ross]

Kristi,

I can identify with....


...insurance issues.


...feeling miserable in the job.


(and)


...feeling it is all unfar.


Thus, rest assured that you are not alone ... and that thoughts/prayers are coming your way.


Cort, "Mr MC" / "Mr Road Trip", 32swm/pig valve/pacemaker
MC:family.IL.guide.future = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/
chdQB = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/quilt.html
"Why can't that be me?" ... 3 Doors Down ... 'If I Could Be Like That'

Hey Cort, wanna go get drunk?

 

[Guest]

LOL!

As long as a cute female joins me at some point ... and stays with me for a long time ... fine by me....

*grins devilishly*

 

[Debrinha GT]

I can relate!

I can relate!

Hi Kristi, I know how you feel! I've had three mitral valve replacements already and I'm waiting for my fourth now. The last one was on December19th,1995 and I was only discharged from hospital on the 26th. I wasn't too bothered about that though, but I was very annoyed because I was meant to have gone to Scotland with my husband for a nice holiday on January2nd, 1996 and I obviously wasn't able to. We had our tickets and passport ready, but when I went for an echo at the end of November, my cardio told me I needed the surgery first. I didn't think it was fair either having to trade in my trip for the surgery, but I had no choice in the matter. Well, there was nothing I could do about it and here I am again, getting ready to go to New Zealand with my daughter in May of next year and praying that the same thing doesn't happen again. Your son will have many other Christmas parties to celebrate and he'll just be happy that his mum will be healthy again. Take care and try to accept it, and you'll see it will be easier on you and your family. Easier said than done, i know, but it all will soon be behind you and just like me, you'll get over it!
Débora

 

[hensylee]

"My surgery has been scheduled for the 30 of this month, with a cath on the 29th. By the time I get out of the hospital, it will be at least December 5th. Something tells me I will not be able to jump up and "do Christmas"

We've had a few who were 'down at holiday season' and we always said just sit by and let others do all the stuff and baby you. This might not be your bag because you sound single - so you have to do what you can before you go. Then get some stuff from the grocer for the food stuff - little one will never know you didn't bake cookies and make candy or cook Christmas dinner. You will both enjoy anyhow. Little ones appreciate everything. They just want toys and YOU.