debster913
Well-known member
Hi all--
Guess I'm just in a reflective mood today, but this afternoon I turned 31. It's been unlike all my other birthdays. Although it was normal in the sense that I went to work, taught my classes, drove home in mid-day traffic, it was also different. For the first time, I've actually appreciated my birthday. Don't get me wrong, I've always loved birthday cakes and parties and presents, but today it just hit me: Three months ago this Saturday, I survived heart surgery. I am so glad to be alive. Now that I'm back to some relative normalcy, I seem to have a different perspective on things. I'm glad I can send my naughty students to the office. I'm glad I have papers to grade. I'm glad to see my mom on the weekends. I'm glad to read an e-mail from an old friend. I'm glad to come home and see my hubby on the couch watching the news. These may seem random and strange, but I can do these things because through the grace of God, my loving family and friends, and my caring cardio and skilled surgeon, I AM ALIVE TODAY.
I almost died as a baby; I'd had a heart attack during delivery and the doctors only gave me three days to live. I never appreciated that. My mom would always tell me when I was down on myself, especially when I was a confused, rebellious teen, "You're a survivor. God wants you here for a reason," I never appreciated that...because I didn't remember. The only obvious clues to that part of my past are my weak right side and valve disease, and even I'd forget those. You learn to live with that. It's always been "me."
It wasn't until my symptoms became indicative of valve failure that I realized how fragile life is. Even though my recovery was tough and many of you remember my posts on how worried I was, or depressed, I've moved through that. I've come to see that I could have died this summer. It's humbled me and made me more confident at the same time. I'm back for a reason, although that reason is not always clear to me.
Today my first period spontaneously sang "Happy Birthday" to me. Usually I don't mention my birthday because it's so early in the school year and the kids don't know me that well yet, but somehow they found out--might've been one of my teacher friends-- and it touched me. I actually got teary-eyed. My birthday gift this year is my life--being able to return to the things that make me feel normal. I will never look at my birthdays the same way again, because you never know when you'll have your last one.
Thanks for reading my post.
Debi (debster913)
Guess I'm just in a reflective mood today, but this afternoon I turned 31. It's been unlike all my other birthdays. Although it was normal in the sense that I went to work, taught my classes, drove home in mid-day traffic, it was also different. For the first time, I've actually appreciated my birthday. Don't get me wrong, I've always loved birthday cakes and parties and presents, but today it just hit me: Three months ago this Saturday, I survived heart surgery. I am so glad to be alive. Now that I'm back to some relative normalcy, I seem to have a different perspective on things. I'm glad I can send my naughty students to the office. I'm glad I have papers to grade. I'm glad to see my mom on the weekends. I'm glad to read an e-mail from an old friend. I'm glad to come home and see my hubby on the couch watching the news. These may seem random and strange, but I can do these things because through the grace of God, my loving family and friends, and my caring cardio and skilled surgeon, I AM ALIVE TODAY.
I almost died as a baby; I'd had a heart attack during delivery and the doctors only gave me three days to live. I never appreciated that. My mom would always tell me when I was down on myself, especially when I was a confused, rebellious teen, "You're a survivor. God wants you here for a reason," I never appreciated that...because I didn't remember. The only obvious clues to that part of my past are my weak right side and valve disease, and even I'd forget those. You learn to live with that. It's always been "me."
It wasn't until my symptoms became indicative of valve failure that I realized how fragile life is. Even though my recovery was tough and many of you remember my posts on how worried I was, or depressed, I've moved through that. I've come to see that I could have died this summer. It's humbled me and made me more confident at the same time. I'm back for a reason, although that reason is not always clear to me.
Today my first period spontaneously sang "Happy Birthday" to me. Usually I don't mention my birthday because it's so early in the school year and the kids don't know me that well yet, but somehow they found out--might've been one of my teacher friends-- and it touched me. I actually got teary-eyed. My birthday gift this year is my life--being able to return to the things that make me feel normal. I will never look at my birthdays the same way again, because you never know when you'll have your last one.
Thanks for reading my post.
Debi (debster913)
