I am suppose to call back tomorrow and schedule a heart cath. I will schedule it for late this month. I am in the process of doing some just in case things like making a living trust with spill over will. I am also writing some just incase letters. I know this is necessary If I want to have a chance for continued quality life. I know that my risk is low and my chances are good. However, after having both my parents killed by incompetent doctors I have a deep fear of doctors. I am guessing my surgery will be in early June. If it is close to father's day I will wait till July. Silly I guess but my father died in a heart proceedure on father's day. I don't want to take a chance on leaving that legacy to my children.
Paralyzed with fear but going forward
- Thread starter john79t
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Ross
Well-known member
John your doing right. 
Don't know about MS, but if your not consulting an attorney on this, do so. Make sure your significant other has a durable power of attorney.
Prepare for the worst, expect the best.
Don't know about MS, but if your not consulting an attorney on this, do so. Make sure your significant other has a durable power of attorney.Prepare for the worst, expect the best.
Thanks Ross. I have a daughter who is a legal secretary and has the program for the stuff I need. She writes them and the Lawyer just reviews and signs them. But I will have one look it over anyway. Yes and the DPofA is a good idea incase the wife needs to make decisions.
M
Mary
Schedule it for June 7, John, and we can share a valversary!
Ross
Well-known member
Yes and she needs to have that power to get into your medical records if things go wrong.
acr
Well-known member
Yep agreed, all good stuff, and if it makes you feel better then go for it. I wanted to make a will, but my wife said I was being morbid, so didn't in the end. And here I am 6 weeks after the event, yay! It'll be fine, the waiting is worse than the surgery. Heart Cath is ok too, bit uncomfortable at times as they pass the catheter up your wrist/arm, but you'll feel nothing else other than the nice (?) warm feeling as they inject the xray contrast.
Nancy
Well-known member
Also make sure all your doctors know that you will allow your wife to talk with them. Some doctors want this in writing, Durable Power of Attorney is most important, not just in case something goes wrong, but in case you are "out of it" with pain meds and can't answer anything.
Nancy
Well-known member
Tell your wife from me, who took care of Joe for a long, long time, that it is all necessary. It may never be needed, but if it is, she will appreciate it. Also tell her to carry the Durable Power of Attorney on her person at all times while she is in the hospital with you, and a copy of your advanced directives too.
Odds are that you won't need any of these documents for a "long time" but it makes a lot of sense to do them now. The three necessary documents are "property will", "advance directive"(living will) and "durable power of attorney".
It is natural, but naive, to think of these as "morbid" and "unnecessary"
. We all need these documents to make end of life decisions easier for our survivors, whether the time is now or later. I have had to make end of life decisions for several family members and having the proper documents makes the process a LOT less painful.I created my "property will" when I was 31 and facing my heart surgery...and I haven't needed it....yet
. The "advanced directive" and "DPOA" were added several years ago....and my wife has had the same documents prepared for herself.....just in case.Jkm7
Well-known member
I agree with the advice given here. Chances are huge your DW will not need any of those documents but better to be prepared and not need them than for her to be denied access to your records and refusal of docs speaking with her in the event it is necessary while you may still be sedated etc
I seem to recall on my admission papers at Mass General there was a place I could indicate doctors should speak with my DH but I had completed Durable Power of Attorney and Health Proxy etc papers.
We all fully understand your anxiety and stress and we all have shared similar feelings. You have thought it through clearly and have a good plan.
Just go and do it.
In the end, hopefully, you will find none of it was as bad as you expected.
That was the case with me..... two OHS.
Blessings.......
I seem to recall on my admission papers at Mass General there was a place I could indicate doctors should speak with my DH but I had completed Durable Power of Attorney and Health Proxy etc papers.
We all fully understand your anxiety and stress and we all have shared similar feelings. You have thought it through clearly and have a good plan.
Just go and do it.
In the end, hopefully, you will find none of it was as bad as you expected.
That was the case with me..... two OHS.
Blessings.......
terodac
Well-known member
FEAR! was my worst enemy after surgery not before! Strange isn't it? I have still have days where it just trys to take over my life. Fear does not come from God it is a tool from satan. I refuse to let it over take my life anymore! Good Luck, but you know you have a right to be prepared for the worst. So everyone knows your wishes, but don't put off your health to long! God will walk with you! God Bless!
John,
Doing all those papers was the worst part for me too. I knew in my heart I would be fine and I did not need to do them, yet, there was big fear of the 'just in case'. It does not hurt to have things in order. You shall be fine.
Good luck and lots of prayers.
Doing all those papers was the worst part for me too. I knew in my heart I would be fine and I did not need to do them, yet, there was big fear of the 'just in case'. It does not hurt to have things in order. You shall be fine.
Good luck and lots of prayers.
Ross
Well-known member
Your going to be fine. This is all preemptive stuff you'll need later anyhow.
Thanks to everyone. I talked with my daughter last night. I basically have the documents written we just need to re-deed the property in the name of the trust and get everything noterized and filed. I am going to call and schedule the cath. for may 22 and the surgery should be shortly after that. I got an update from Adam Pick a few days ago on how Barbra Bush prepared for her surgery. She wrote farewell letters to all of her children and one to her brother. She included a $5 bill in the one to her brother because they had a bet on who would go first and she did not want him to think we was a cheap skate. But even at 83 she did fine.
Ross
Well-known member
I bet she wants her money back!
I wouldn't carry it that far. Someone must have really scared the crap out of her.
I guess since she was 83 she figured she might not make it. Even though I am a political conservative I have always thought both of the Bush ladies were better first ladies that their husbands were presidents.
PS the letters were sealed and did not get opened they were just in case.
PS the letters were sealed and did not get opened they were just in case.
ponytaila1a
Well-known member
I did not have to "think" about geting any of those documents....LUCKY ?? for us when we first moved to FL we got hooked into one of those "free lunch" and "free" living will things. As we were new to the laws of FL we bought the Durable Power of Attorney, the Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care and the will $$$$$$ ...but now it is so easy just to pull them out........rather than go through the process at this time......oh, the lunch was good too!! (unfortunately there is no such thing as a "free lunch"
