hi all!
on al's recommendation i thought i'd share some of the tools/tricks i learned at a phobia clinic i went to about 16 years ago.
my fears are primarily heights (needles _as in shots_ too and blood, but worked ont he height issue at the clinic), especially "free floating" escalators, clear elevators. flying is not a problem for me , but i will not go in a helicopter (not enough between me and the outside sky).
there were people in my group who had varying fears, for instance, one could not drive on highways (for fear of getting lost), another could not leave his apt., others were afraid to fly altogether...
we were told never to avoid the fears; this only feeds them and makes them bigger. naturally, none of these fears are rational, but that is not the approach to dealing with them. they are real to those of us who have them and suffer.
we were taught to confront our fears using tools that distracted us somewhat. they discouraged us from reading a book_ because you end up rereading the one page over and over, not getting anywhere. your mind is still on the fear.
tools such as word search books from the supermarket are simple enough to be able to focus away from the fear and then back intermittently. other tools are: A is for Alice, B is for Barbara, C is for Carol, etc. doing this with girls' names (and when you have them memorized like i do, switching to-) boys' names, states, fruit, vegetable, countries, and so on.
it occupies your mind enough to be a minor distraction and take away from the immediate fear.
also, going up escalators, i was told to get on immediately after a person so that i'd have someone directly in front of me.
also, to look at folks around you on the escalator and wonder what they do, do they have kids, how old are they, etc. i've found that this doesn't do it for me.
change in the pocket is another good one. feel the coins while confronting your fear and try and figure out what each is.
i went a step further since my oldest daughter was 3 at the time... i borrowed her magnetic alphabet letters and put them in my pocket and tried to figure out which was which.
the key was to confront your fears. by avoiding them they grow and take over. most importantly,
the tools are not meant as a cure, just a way to deal and feel somewhat in control.
we had weekly meetings, but most important was the time we spent "practicing our tools" with leaders who would take us out into the situation and "hold our hands" as we tried what we thought we could manage, each time progressing some. we rated our fears from 0 to 10 (10 being a panic attack or paralysis). based on this difficulty, we would move to easier or more challenging things. it was not rushed at all. all done at our pace as needed. no forcing, no pushing.
i hope this has helped some of you.
i still have good days and bad ones, but i try hard to confront my fears and not avoid them whenever possible.
be well all and good luck!!!
-sylvia
on al's recommendation i thought i'd share some of the tools/tricks i learned at a phobia clinic i went to about 16 years ago.
my fears are primarily heights (needles _as in shots_ too and blood, but worked ont he height issue at the clinic), especially "free floating" escalators, clear elevators. flying is not a problem for me , but i will not go in a helicopter (not enough between me and the outside sky).
there were people in my group who had varying fears, for instance, one could not drive on highways (for fear of getting lost), another could not leave his apt., others were afraid to fly altogether...
we were told never to avoid the fears; this only feeds them and makes them bigger. naturally, none of these fears are rational, but that is not the approach to dealing with them. they are real to those of us who have them and suffer.
we were taught to confront our fears using tools that distracted us somewhat. they discouraged us from reading a book_ because you end up rereading the one page over and over, not getting anywhere. your mind is still on the fear.
tools such as word search books from the supermarket are simple enough to be able to focus away from the fear and then back intermittently. other tools are: A is for Alice, B is for Barbara, C is for Carol, etc. doing this with girls' names (and when you have them memorized like i do, switching to-) boys' names, states, fruit, vegetable, countries, and so on.
it occupies your mind enough to be a minor distraction and take away from the immediate fear.
also, going up escalators, i was told to get on immediately after a person so that i'd have someone directly in front of me.
also, to look at folks around you on the escalator and wonder what they do, do they have kids, how old are they, etc. i've found that this doesn't do it for me.
change in the pocket is another good one. feel the coins while confronting your fear and try and figure out what each is.
i went a step further since my oldest daughter was 3 at the time... i borrowed her magnetic alphabet letters and put them in my pocket and tried to figure out which was which.
the key was to confront your fears. by avoiding them they grow and take over. most importantly,
the tools are not meant as a cure, just a way to deal and feel somewhat in control.
we had weekly meetings, but most important was the time we spent "practicing our tools" with leaders who would take us out into the situation and "hold our hands" as we tried what we thought we could manage, each time progressing some. we rated our fears from 0 to 10 (10 being a panic attack or paralysis). based on this difficulty, we would move to easier or more challenging things. it was not rushed at all. all done at our pace as needed. no forcing, no pushing.
i hope this has helped some of you.
i still have good days and bad ones, but i try hard to confront my fears and not avoid them whenever possible.
be well all and good luck!!!
-sylvia
Hopefully we will remember with all of the hoopla at the reunion. 
