One week to go until Jan 5

[thecman321]

Man has time sure flown by!!
My wife is one week away from AVR. Had pre-op 2 days ago.
We are in "nesting behavior" mode. Getting tons of odds and ends done around the house, taking down Christmas stuff, etc, etc. We have made daily lists of stuff to do. We try not to talk about it too much but have daily cries now. The hardest thing for her right now is the thought of not seeing our 8 month old daughter while she is in the hospital. My bigest fear is worring about the 2% of the time when things dont go right.

 

[Karlynn]

I'm sure everything will go fine and then you'll have years and years to look back nostalgically on this time. Like the births of your children, you will remember it quite clearly, but with a sense of gratitude.

I also still remember how much I missed my children when I was in the hospital. But it was a small price to pay for being a healthy Mom foe them.

What type of valve did you decide to go with?

 

[tobagotwo]

She's young. For what it's worth, you should (theoretically) be able to cut your worrying in half, as the figure should be more like 1%...

This is a very difficult time for you both. The waiting and wondering eats away at your stamina and psyche. And for her, there is the added physical burden of any symptoms. Just from the stress, there is frequently a lot of arrhythmic activity in the last weeks before surgery, which can keep her worried and not sleeping on top of everything else.

Hang in there. Everyone here knows what this part of it feels like.

It might help to direct some of that nesting energy toward how things should be set up for her return home - what things need to be set up within her reach, where exactly she will nest in early recovery (recliner?), what books, magazines she might like to have available. And if you can, visit some place she finds particularly beautiful this weekend.

Best wishes,

 

[Mary]

I remember all too well when I had to have unexpected surgery after the birth of our first child. Our baby was only 5 months old, and I was worried about being away from her and also worried that she would forget me.

My surgery resulted in a seven day hospital stay, and although she was scooted in for quick visits, I didn't see very much of her. After I was released I couldn't lift anything heavier than 10 pounds for six weeks, so we lost a little bonding time. But just as Karlynn says, the time passed, and it seems like a dream now.

Lucky for you and your wife, her OHS should result in a much shorter hospitalization than what I endured almost thirty years ago. You will be with her throughout, and she will be home with the baby before you know it. Children bring out the vulnerability in a woman like nothing else, and having to undergo such a big surgery must make her feel like she can raise no defense against what is about to occur.

Of course, we know better. She has you, and a whole bunch of VR people who will be sending prayers your way throughout the process.

Hold on and put your trust in a higher power. That's all any of us can do.

Mary

 

[inlaguna]

Getting Ready

Getting Ready

Had Sugery one month ago. Anticipation is a bear to deal with. Everything will go great and you will be out of the hospital before you know it. I missed my 4 year old , but fortunately go to see her a day or two while in the hospital. The best thing to do is to concentrate on getting back on your feet as quickly as possible. It is true, the more you do ( walking etc) the better you feel.

 

[Bionic Valve Tim]

Best wishes and be sure to keep us posted!

Definitely try to keep busy. Having my wedding right before the surgery was a bummer, but we didn't have time to think much about the surgery

BTW, did I miss a post about her final valve choice? What did she decide to go with?

Tim

 

[thecman321]

thanks all

thanks all

thanks for the encouragement
as I sit here at 3:15am in front of my computer 5 days before my wife's surgery, poor sleep has been the norm for me lately, I think about what is in store for us over the next few weeks and wonder how i am going to cope with it all. The drive to the hospital and leaving my 8 month daughter behind with my mom is probably going to be the worst for her (and me).

My wife trusts her surgeon without any reservations, he is the same surgeon that did her surgery when she was a child, and he uses St. jude valves exclusively for his mechanicals. I guess we are going with 25 years of experienced surgical hands and a 25 year time tested reliable valve design. Something to be said for a track record when it comes to stuff like this i guess.

Hey Tim, any honeymoon plans yet??

 

[ALCapshaw2]

It looks like you and your wife are zeroing in on the "acceptance" stage of the grief process. Many patients find a sense of peace and calm just before going into their surgery. My hopes are that this will come to you and your wife also.

If / when you start to ponder the 1 - 2% number, just step back and ponder the outcome if NOTHING were done. That should make the 98-99% success rate look VERY attractive!

Best wishes,

'AL'

 

[Phyllis]

Sounds like you are in great hands and your wife's youth is a big plus. Concentrate on all the wonderful years you both are going to share while raising your beautiful daughter - the best is yet to come! We will be looking for your posts after she climbs the mountain.

 

[Bionic Valve Tim]

My wife trusts her surgeon without any reservations, he is the same surgeon that did her surgery when she was a child, and he uses St. jude valves exclusively for his mechanicals. I guess we are going with 25 years of experienced surgical hands and a 25 year time tested reliable valve design. Something to be said for a track record when it comes to stuff like this i guess.

Hey Tim, any honeymoon plans yet??

Sandals Resort the 3rd week or March. I can't wait

I think she'll be happy with the mechanical. It seems to be the logical choice, and St. Jude's is definitely the gold standard, as they say. Send her to Al's site if she's concerned about Coumadin--a little knowledge goes a long way toward dispelling some of the bunk out there!

Enjoy the next few days and try to keep busy!
Tim

 

[DavidC]

I'm going in sometime around then too for my fix

I'm going in sometime around then too for my fix

Got a call from my surgeon today and he's putting the date on me. I've decided to get it over with. The wait is so hard. Every day I feel more like something's not right and it will be a relief when I'm on the other side.

I feel for you being the one who has to wait it out. It's not going to be a picnic I'm sure. My wife is having a harder time than I am right now.

Try to stay positive and only talk positive. It has helped me to do a couple things in preparation, like write a letter to my wife and boys (the just in case letter) I truly don't believe it will ever be seen by anyone but it's given me a surprising amount of peace of mind just having it done.

Something about having your feelings down permanently is healing by itself.

Keep the faith. Everything will be ok.

David Cross

 

[doberman]

I am posting on Jan 8, your wife should be getting out of the hospital in the next few days. You will be amazed at how quickly your life will be back to normal. I wish her a speedy recovery.
Best JD