Not heart related -- my father has passed away

[Marguerite53]

Hello all.

Many of you were aware that I have been struggling alongside my father with his Alzheimer Disease. On May 31 he passed away from complications related to a medical procedure he'd had 2 weeks before. It was sudden for me. Gruelling in that I had to agree to honor his advance directive....do nothing....and put him on hospice care. Two days of morphine and he was gone. I wasn't there for the final moment, but had said my good-byes and had spent many hours by his side.

We've had the burial and memorial service this past weekend. As his only child (and he is long divorced) it was an exhausting and emotion filled time. My family has been amazing. Tributes from my 3 grown children were inspiring. My husband secretly hired a lone bagpipe player graveside for our small, private burial (my dad loved bagpipes).

He is free. It is good. I am sad. It is done.

Anyway, for anyone else out there dealing with this awful disease, my heart goes out to you. It runs so much deeper than the simple words "memory loss" refer to.

I'm okay. He'd be very upset if I weren't, so I will be!!

And hopefully I can be a stronger part of this community now that I'll have a lot more time. I've missed you guys!

Marguerite

 

[Cooker]

Marguerite??My deepest heart felt sympathy?.dealing with any long term illness is exhausting and heart breaking?.your father is at peace?.and my prayer is that the good memories will fill your heart??Hugs?..Tom

 

[EireCara]

So sorry to hear of your Fathers passing Marguerite. I know exactly what you mean when you said ...its so much more than 'memory loss'. My ''mother'' (Grandmother, but she raised me from 3 weeks old, so she was my mother to me) died from the same thing. Its was heartbreaking watching her fade away over about 5 years. She used to sing little songs she knew as a young woman....when that stopped I knew we had lost her. I too was glad she was free from it.

Please accept my deepest sympathy.

 

[Adrienne]

My mother also died of Alzheimer's Disease. Please accept my deepest sympathies.

 

[Wise]

So sorry to hear of your father's passing Marguerite. Our prayers and thoughts will be with you during this difficult transition in your life.

 

[Karlynn]

You have my sympathy and my prayers that you will see and remember your Dad with fond memories before that horrible disease had it's way.

 

[Bina]

Marguerite, I am so saddened to read this today. You and your family have my condolences and sympathy.

 

[Lisa in Katy]

Marguerite, this is sad news, but I understand when you say that your dad would want you to be okay. My great aunt died last year in the final stages of Alzheimers. Her daughter, who is a minister, gave the eulogy. I thought to myself, "I'm not sure I could do that." But, I know to her, the mother that she knew was gone long before, and it was a blessing to allow her body to move on. I'm glad that you have your family to help you through these times.

 

[fyrfytr]

Marguerite,
You and your family have my prayers and sympathy.

 

[geebee]

Marguerite,

I, too, understand what you have gone through because of my mom. It is a dreadful disease that makes you always wonder where your loved one has gone.

No matter how long someone is ill, it is still painful beyond belief when death finally comes. I thought it would be a welcome relief but I was wrong.

However, the relief is there for the person who finally finds rest from the constant struggle and is now able to fly free, remember things, and walk again with their departed loved ones.

We will all be together again, whole, happy and loved.

My deepest sympathy for the earthly loss of your father. I am happy that you are able to find peace.

 

[Sherry]

Marguerite, I'm so sorry. I have a grandfather going through this right now so I can truly understand how difficult this must have been.

 

[Nancy]

My deepest sympathies, I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[Mary]

My sincere condolences, Marguerite. It always hurts, no matter what our age.

 

[CThrock]

So sorry to hear about the loss of your father. You and your family are in my prayers..

 

[Superbob]

Marguerite,

My deepest sympathy, Marguerite. I am praying for strength for you and your family. Hope your many fond memories will help sustain you

 

[Susan BAV]

...No matter how long someone is ill, it is still painful beyond belief when death finally comes. I thought it would be a welcome relief but I was wrong...

I found this to be true at first also. However, Lincoln wrote something like, "Time heals all wounds," in connection to the loss of a loved one.

And I think that healing is related to our loving memories, which can be a soothing balm on the pain of loss.

It reminds me of the words of a beautiful song... "Memories, light the corner of my mind... Memories, may be beautiful and yet, what's to painful to remember, we simply choose to forget; so it's the laughter, we will remember, whenever we remember, the way we were..."

May you remember the laughter and the love of your dear father, Marguerite. My thoughts remain with you.

 

[WayneGM]

I am very sorry to hear of your loss. My condolences to you and your family.

 

[Phyllis]

My sincere sympathy, Maguerite. We walked this road with Dick's Mom and it is a difficult one. I know he is finding peace now and I hope that you do too with all the marvelous care you gave him. Find solace in all the good memories.

 

[Ross]

My heart goes out to you, along with my sympathy. That's hard on anyone.

 

[Freddie]

Its never easy!!!
My sincere sympathy to you and your family