New to the forum (kind of)

[Jess]

Hi,

I had the ross procedure 3 years ago and used this forum alot pre surgery for information, I cant remember if I ever actually signed up and posted anything or whether I just read other peoples posts. I have been fine since the surgery but am suffering a bit emotionally as it seems I kind of just tried to forget the surgery after it happened instead of dealing with what I went through and its all been building up. I have started seeing someone to work through it and I told her about this site and she suggested that it might help to come back here. So here I am:

Name: Jess
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Age:21
Condition: Congenital Aortic stenosis (bicuspid aorta)
Treatment: balloonoscopy at age 12 (not sure what its really called)- put a balloon up your vein in your leg and into the valve and then pump it to widen the valve.
Ross procedure in 2005 (age 17)

But my main problem is emotional, whenever I try to seriously think about the operation or talk about how I felt I get all emotional and teary. Does anyone else have anything like this?

Also any other Aussies who had ross procedure?

Cheers

Jess

 

[Lynlw]

Hi Jess you DID post before I remeber you because you are the same age as My son Justin if you search jess+ ross here a few of your old posts show up http://www.valvereplacement.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12795&highlight=jess+ross
I'm sorry you are having a tough time of it now..it is alot to go thru especially for a teenager that should be thinking of much funner things like proms, driving ect.

BTW you had a valvuloplasty
lyn

 

[knoxbone09]

Good to meet you. I don't know much, but the other members here sure do! I can't think of anyone better to talk to then the people here.

 

[BDMc]

Dear Jess, Welcome aboard! I went through a lot of denial myself. I find I am more sensitive since the surgery, and at times much more open, if I just look at how I really feel. I think you are on the right track, and in the right place. (I also encourage you to utilize professional help, as long as it really feels like help.) Please do come back. Brian

 

[Eva]

Welcome back, Jess. It is very difficult to go through this at any age, but I think it is more difficult at a young age like you. As Lynn said.

Try always to focus on the good/better health that you have instead of feeling sorry for what you had gone through. Try to think of all the positive things about having had the surgery! For instance, in my case, I knew about my leak when I was 19 but could not have the surgery then!! I had to live all my life worrying and anxiously monitoring my heart and valve's functioning and it was not easy. So, put the surgery behind you and start living your present and plan for the future.

I am glad you are seeing someone and you are on the right track.

Keep us posted and vent out as much as you need.

 

[EireCara]

Hi Jess, I am sorry you are having to go through so much at such a young age. ''welcome'' back. Vent away. We are more than happy to listen and hopefully help a little.

 

[hall]

Just wanted to say Welcome Back. Hope you stay. Post whatever you need. As for me, my family say, I am much more positive than I was. I do not think your feelings are unusual. Everyone is different. Nice to hear from you.

 

[escargome]

Hi Jess and welcome back. The fact that you are seeing someone to help you through your feelings is a big plus. Heck don't put yourself down cause you get emotional. It's fine. Shoot I'm 57 years old and had my aortic valve replaced a year ago this past May and at times I still get a little teary just thinking to myself about the whole situation. I am so glad I had the surgery cause it means that I have been given a new lease on my life. Talking about our experiences is good. Just hang in there and come on this site to talk as much as you like, we are all truly good listeners. Take Care

 

[hensylee]

welcome home, Jess. We don't forget our members. We are glad all went well with you and that you are good again. The emotional part is probably a shock to such a young person as you are. It is probably good that you are seeing someone about your feelings. We all need to get out things to someone who is outside our family/friend circle and talk to those who know the path we have taken. This is such a place. People here have walked up that mountain as you did and are here to help you get it all put in perspective.

You might want to tell us a little more about what you feel emotionally. Can it be that you are having some depression now? A number of members have had some depression and it certainly isn't a stranger to the heart. Quite common, in fact. Sort of goes hand in hand.

We are here to help and encourage as much as we are able.

Wishing you all the best. You have been over the mountain and are on the good side now. We want you to be able to enjoy the new life you have. Blessins.........

 

[briansmom]

My son struggles also. It is a lot to put on a teenager. I am a big fan of seeing a therapist and also trying to connect with other people in similar circumstances. I wish I could get my son to talk more about how this is affecting him. He pretty much does his best to ignore the reality of his health issues.

Please don't be hard on yourself. Almost everybody has emotional issues related to their heart surgery. Hang in there, it sounds like you are doing what you need to do.

 

[Jess]

Thanks for all the support... I am starting to feel better already. I think its just coming to terms that I am different and have to think of my health more frequently than people my age... but I am coming to terms with this and am so happy I have been given a second chance at life. Theres no use feeling sorry for myself cos I am one of the lucky ones.. I guess something I have trouble with is that since the surgery I am alot more aware about my surroundings and get quite paranoid.. I think subconsciously I am thinking that I survived the OHS and don't want to get hurt/die from something I could prevent, which makes me think about things WAY to much... I just want to be able to enjoy life without worrying so much! Hopefully the professional help I am getting will resolve this

 

[Cozycat]

Jess, welcome back and we are all here to listen to you cry, rant, rave, be fearful or whatever. Most of us on the forum are probably much older than you and have been thru alot of the ups and downs life throws at us, which means we also know the value of having people to listen to what we have to say.

I know, in my case, I have friends and relatives who inquire, "How are you doing?" But most of them do not want a full description of how I'm doing. On the other hand, I would really like to have some people who really want to listen to what I'm experiencing and have an idea of what I am talking about. Thus, this wonderful site where there are so many who know what kinds of emotions this type of surgery can cause and don't think you are weird for having all this emotion.

Hang in there, Jess. You have lots of fun and excitement waiting for you and seeking help is a great step to be taking toward your future.

Midge

 

[pamela]

Welcome Jess. I am glad to see you and to read the warm welcome from our valve-friends. This is a wonderful place isn't it?

So, talk away. One of the things I've realized about this surgery, it seems to have this kind of emotional impact on people who are born nurturers. We empathize and care for others without too much turmoil but when we need to embrace our own pain and health issues, we lose it. Like we find it impossible to give ourselves a hug and release those healthy tears.

Here's one of those internet embraces from your fellow patients and here is where you can find that blessed release. Wiser heads than mine have taught me that to live in the moment is to take back definitive control. What is past can't be changed, forget it and make a conscious decision to go forward with a positive demeanor. Plan to see your health pros and keep an interested ear to your body's functions but don't fear. Fear will put limits on you that hold you from living completely.

It's ok to be angry. It's ok to sorrow. You're a member of an elite group of humanity and welcome to the pack.

Take Heart,
Pamela.

 

[OldManEmu]

Jess
Welcome back.

I am thinking that I survived the OHS and don't want to get hurt/die from something I could prevent

It's good to be cautious and not engage in foolish high risk activities, heart patient or not.
However you do not want to live in a bubble, you had surgery to be given the chance to go out there and live a near normal life.
I consider myself a heart patient for life, yet now my health is good I take the opportunity to not waste the good health dwelling on what may or may not happen.

 

[Star54]

Hi Jess,
It's good to see that you are posting on the forum. It's also good to know that you are talking about what is bothering you. You are so young and have so much to live for, life is a deck of cards, it's the way you play it. Play them well and have fun, (no riding cyclones), keep posting here, the people here are so down to earth and supportive, and someone always knows what you are going thru....they may be worlds away, but they are always there......

 

[Megan]

hi Jess. oh i wish i could give you a big squeeze right now because i have been in your shoes sister. same diagnosis but alittle bit different treatment but all at the same ages. i had valve sparing ohs at 12 then my second when i was 19. at the time i was in college. i saw a school therapist at the time to cry a bit . i too felt the same... why me, how unfair, noone else was delaing with what i was and i still scored better on my exams then they did! but afterwards, it was full speed ahead, no looking back, pretending essentially that i was "normal", partying, working, partying just like everyone else. I think in retrospect, i must have developed from anger issues and i wish i knew now what i didnt then which is the more you talk about it- explain it, the better you feel. so you my friend on on the perfect path of enlightenment. keep along this road and you will be fine. Just think about all the things that you might yet want to do...work cool jobs, meet new friends, travel new roads and routes, enjoy life solo then fall in love, ( if you havent yet or maybe again!) get married, have kids, buy a house, plant a garden, better yet, plant some roses, .. the list goes on.. Just keep swimming.... ( rememeber nemo?) and you are gonna be just fine. we are here when you need us.

Meg

 

[catwoman]

Jess:

Some, if not many, of us had some of these same feelings post-op. After all, the thought of having OHS is pretty scary.
I'm sure all of us have met someone who, when they hear we've had heart surgery, has said, very disdainfully, "Ooooh, I could never do that!"
So that makes US the brave ones... and thinking of what we've gone through sometimes creates emotional issues. Acknowledge those, learn how to deal with those and you'll soon have the worst part behind you.

I'm glad you're getting help from someone and have come back to us!

 

[TXWildflower]

Just from reading these posts I'm sure you see you have come back to the right place. I haven't been through it yet, and besides I'm a lot older than you, but it is a life altering event no matter what age you are - but without the experiences the come with age it is even harder on you. I have read some great advice above, so not sure I have anything to add, but to say you are clearly not alone. Keep doing whatever you need to to get through this and live your life like you were meant to! Best of luck to you!

Rhena

 

[sylviayasgur]

hi jess,
welcome! i hate to be repetitive.... i'm sorry that you_ at such a young age_ are going through this. it must be so difficult for you. this is such a wonderful place; everyone here "gets it". there are many people here, many different people, but you are sure to find many who can relate to how you feel. that alone, i imagine, must make you feel better_ knowing others understand.
i'm a big believer in therapy and am so happy that you have someone to talk to.
when my husband was preparing for his surgery i was a wreck. the members here held my hand, offered info, advice, just plain were there for me.
it is a place where we all give back because we remember how it felt.
keep coming back; it really helps and actually makes you feel good.
stay well,
sylvia

 

[zipper2]

Hi Jess welcome back,emotions can run high likely due to fear
and we are all normal that way,tears help,anger and yep even at age48
had 2 valve replacements in 18 year span and told after 2nd surgery
in Jan that a third is in happening eventually,yeah it grabs you and if
im not careful you can feel really down,so ive decided one day at a time
and enjoy yesterday,tomorrow and today and worry when the time comes
but we can be any age for this emotional rollercoaster,never too young or
too old and hey we all have sailed this ship together on vr and hope you
stick here cus it sure helps to sail together rather than alone