nerves after surgery

[mharris]

I am 29 and had our 4th child in April. 5 days after she was born I ended up in the ER with chf which was from severe mitral regurgitation. I had to have surgery 6 days later, my surgeon chose to repair it. He thought it would probably work, well 3 weeks later I was in chf again. His repair did not work, so I had 2nd open heart surgery 5 wks after the first. It has been 2.5 months now and I am feeling good but I don't have the patience I had before with my kids. School starts in about 3 wks, so I am sure that will help. If anyone has some advice I would greatly appreciate it. I don't know if this is normal or not.

 

[Ross]

Welcome to the forums

You've been through a heck of a lot and I would expect you to still be anxious in a lot of respects. I would say it's normal up to a point. If you start feeling that you may harm your children, it's time to get some Professionals in on the help. There are meds that can help with the transitions back to normal. Please don't miscontrue this for something that it's not. Just be aware, that's all.

When they return to school, that may very well be what you need to get things back together with your nerves and emotions. School starting may be all you need to really feel better.

Your more then welcome to come and talk with any of us at any time. Again, welcome to the forums.

 

[mharris]

thanks

thanks

Thanks for input. I am not even close to ever hurting my kids I just fine that there normal telling on each other and regular kid behavior bothers me alot more now. I find myself raising my voice more than usual.

 

[Nancy]

Hi m-

Welcome to this wonderful site. This is a great place where everyone understands about valves and the surgery.

What you've described could be normal ole "after surgery, heart patient depression", it's about as common as leaves on the trees for this surgery. It can manifest itself just like you're describing.

There is a lot of thought that this is a physical type thing brought on by the chemical and hormonal uproar your body goes through with major surgery, and you had two in a row, plus your pregnancy and your three other children. My goodness! That's a lot of things happening to you all at once. You have certainly earned some battle medals. I'd say you've earned the right to be cranky. But when it goes on too long, or is bothersome to the patient, there are terrific meds that can help, and they do, very, very well. i bet the majority of patients on this board either are on anti-depressants or were at one time or another.

If you feel that you aren't reacting the way you'd like to, why not call your doctor and see about some anti-depressants.

Give yourself the help you need at this time in your life, so you will be able to enjoy your family and your new life.

Wishing you all the best.

 

[ALCapshaw2]

Hello MHarris !

Irritibility is not uncommon after any major surgery,
especially when your energy level has dropped to zero.

NAPS are GOOD. Try some when your kids are sleeping
or away at school. Also, do some aerobic walking everyday
for as long as your body tells you it's OK. Then rest.
Week by week, you should notice you have more energy
and more endurance and hopefully more patience.

At 6 months, you should have most of your energy back
but may / will notice that you continue to improve up to a
full year.

Slow down and smell the roses (when you can
and don't be afraid to ask for HELP from friends
and family.

'AL'

 

[Peggy in Alaska]

Hi mharris:

I can't wait for school to start either, and I am not post-op! How old are your 4 kids. You certainly have your hands full.

Just think, school will be in session soon and you can take those naps and put your feet up.

 

[Georgia]

And I thought MY year's been bad

And I thought MY year's been bad

Well, m, you've just had more on your plate than anyone should have to deal with.

I was talking to some people at cardiac rehab about this very thing a couple days ago - that I hadn't needed antidepressants, but I had as little stress post surgery as anyone could have - plenty of money (good disability coverage); kids adults and gone; a retired husband who still works some; dogs and cats that are well-behaved. And when I went back to work 3 months after surgery, people were quite caring.

But I know that all of my nerves are exposed (still); doesn't take much to make me over-react. And it's not just being grouchy; I have a much stronger visceral reaction to stress - cry easily, heart rate's way up, over-reacting. I'm SURE that if I'd had 4 kids, including a newborn, I'd have had chemical help.

So go for it; you don't need to be a hero - you need to heal.

Have you gone to cardiac rehab?

btw - welcome to the family. Ask all you want - you'll never find us shy or at a loss for words or opinions.

 

[Ross]

Re: thanks

Re: thanks

Thanks for input. I am not even close to ever hurting my kids I just fine that there normal telling on each other and regular kid behavior bothers me alot more now. I find myself raising my voice more than usual.

Like I said, please don't misconstrue where I was going with that. You've been through enough in a short amount of time to make anyone short tempered. I don't know anyone here that wasn't that way. It does take time and the more time you get to be by yourself, the better you'll feel.

 

[nadi]

Hello and welcome!!

I understand though mine was with my husband(kids all grown) A few weeks after surgery my nerves and emotions went haywire!!!!! My poor husband caught the brunt of it. We fought more after surgery then we have in many many years. I finally went to my PCP about it and a whole list of other things. She felt my list was all related so she prescribed some med to help me, one anti-depressant and one to help me sleep better. They made all the difference!!!! She said to give myself some time to let everything heal and regulate. So my suggestion is to talk to your doctor about it esp. if it continues after school starts.

Take care,

 

[Birky]

Nerves

Nerves

You do have your hands full and can understand why you are cranky. I had gotten that way after my surgery and finally called the Dr. and put me on Zoloft which is helping tremendously. Wasn't sleeping good and worried about everything. I went back to work parttime in 5 weeks and fulltime in 8. Too soon, now that I look back even though I felt good. I tried to take a nap every chance I had. My kids are grown and now have 6 grandkids. They wanted to come over all the time but I couldn't handle being with them for more than an hour. Now I can deal with them for a weekend etc. You have had an awful lot done to you along with a new baby and 3 other children. Pamper yourself if you are able. My kids grew up with a little dust and clutter and they all survived.
I am new to this and there are sure some knowledgeable and nice people here. Keep in touch, Marcia
]

Mitral Valve Replacement

 

[mharris]

I haven't went to cardiac rehab because I thought I would feel out of place since I am so much younger than most open heart surgery patients. My surgeon also said that I didn't have to if I didn't want to because I pretty much have my own rehab at home with all the kids. Which is so very true. Thanks to everyones reply, it helps to know that I am not the only one that has felt this way.

 

[ShezaGirlie]

Lordy Mercy MHarris!!!

If I'd been through what you have (two surgeries, newborn, three other kiddos -- I'd pull every hair I've got left outta this head...

You need out of the house pronto! Get a babysitter and head to the nearest beauty shop, spa or even a hotel room with a good book for a peaceful 24 hours. They will survive...but most importantly -- YOU DESERVE IT!

 

[Tammy]

Mharris -

It seems you have had a trying year so far. When school starts back up you should take time to pamper yourself. Recruit friends and family to babysit and help with chores. Having a newborn is a big job!! I also had a newborn when I had MVR so I know what you are going through. I remember at times just crying with my baby because I was so exhausted. It gets better so hang in there.

Tammy
MVR 04/06/89

 

[greggo32]

Hi M Harris,

Wow, what you have been through is too difficult to even imagine. I would try to restrain the children with heavy duty Fly paper and if they give you a hard time after this say, "No Disney World ever in your life!"

Just kidding. I figured you can use some humor. I can't even imagine what you have experienced. My brain was toast after my surgery. I was so weak and my concentration was quite poor.

I guess the only advice is to get as much help as possible.

My heart goes out to you. Well, you many not want my heart with the mechanical valve so I send you my spleen and kidneys!

Welcome to the site.................................

 

[Georgia]

cardiac rehab

cardiac rehab

I STRONGLY suggest you discuss this with your doc; it's good for you, it's sans kids; chasing after kids is NOT cardiac rehab and shame on your doc for suggesting it. Your insurance should pay for it.

The fact that you're younger is irrelevant. Those other folks will love hearing about your kids - and many of them will teach you a thing or two!

I was younger than most, and at different times I had a 35 year old in with me, and another gal about the same age - they both had congenital problems.

I truly felt better after this and felt safe doing the exercises; it's only about 1 1/2 hours 3 times per week for around 6 weeks (the insurer will approve a certain number of sessions). I really wish you'd look into it.