Need to Vent

[Babydoll]

Hi everyone
I just need to vent to get something off my chest. I don't know about everyone else but I have more SOB when am around certian smells like loud perfumes , smoking or flowers. I need my pul. valve replace and I know that is the reason so you would think after I have told my family and friends over and over I can't breathe around these things that they would help me out with keeping the air around me clean. Last night I was at my mom's where she was keeping my nephew he wore me out so my mom told me just to spend the night since that is were am going after recovery I agreed just to see how the bed slept. While me and my nephew were awake she smoked outside which i realy thanked her for but as soon as we were asleep i woke up with this feeling someone had their hand over my mouth and I couldn't breathe I jumped up out of bed looked around thought that maybe it was because I was in a new place it seemed like i just couldn't get my breath so i got up to get water and go outside to calm down when I open my bedroom door I got this greeting from smoke I knew my mom had been smoking she was laying on the couch cig. butt in a glass of water and acting like she was asleep I told her that I knew she was smoking she just smiled and said I did out side looked at her told her not to tell me that story the cig butt is beside you. I quickly got dressed and left so I could breath again. Now she telling the rest of the family am just B%.#@*^g I told her if she needed to smoke in the house that bad that I would find somewhere else to recover after surgery. Am I being a spoiled brat? I know it's her house but she knows my health when she asked me to stay with her.
Stacey

 

[Harrybaby666]

Hi Stacey,

Hi Stacey,

Hi Stacey,
No, your not being a spoiled brat. If people really understand what's going on with you and what your about to go through with surgery, they should have enough common sense to know that smoking will bother you. Besides my heart issues, I also have asthma, and when my mother wears this certain perfume (Passion, by Elizabeth taylor) It sets my asthma off and I have an attack like you wouldn't believe. I told her what was going on, and she was really good about it and she agreed to wear it only when I am not around. Talk to your mum. It could be only a matter of her needing to understand your illness better, or it could be a matter of her not accepting that this is really happening to you....in which case I would ask her to go to a doctor's appointment with you and let the doctor explain to her. I hope this helps you and I hope that you find peace and support with your mum. Take Care, Harrybaby666

 

[Ross]

You can always come to my place. I promise I'll share my oxygen with you.

 

[Debrinha GT]

Give her another chance.

Give her another chance.

Hi Stacey, as far as I could understand, she probably didn't realize that it would get to you since you'd already gone to your bed when she started smoking indoors. Before then, she did go outside to have a smoke and because she's used to being able to cut the thick air with a knife, she just didn't think it would affect you as badly as it did. I'm sure she'll be more careful from now on, but talk to her anyway.

Débora

 

[ALCapshaw2]

Hello Stacey,

MANY people have 'sensitivities' to chemicals and odors. Unfortunately, some of these sensitivities are hard to 'prove' but there is a lot of imperical evidence supporting this condition.

For your own sake, it might be best to at least have a 'back up plan' in place following your surgery so that you have another option already established. You do NOT want to have additional burdens placed on you right after OHS!

Just as with OHS, people who have not suffered similarily 'Just Don't Get It'. You have to stand up for yourself.

'AL'

 

[Abbanabba]

No you are not being a spoiled brat!! However, I think it is hard for some people to understand just how much of an effect things like smoking can have on you - especially when they voluntarily breath the stuff in.

I recently moved out of my aunt & uncle's house, but he was very good at always smoking outside when I was there. After I left he started smoking inside again, but when I pointed out how thoughtless it was for him to smoke around me while I was there, he always made a point of heading outdoors - even at night in the middle of winter. This might be [OK - IS] a little crude, but I gave him (and other smokers) the following analogy: how would they like it if every time they lit up a cigarette and smoked it around me, I "passed gas" right in front of their face for 10 minutes? Let me tell you, it certainly got my point across!!

I'm sorry to hear that your mother has taken your reaction the wrong way though. I hope you're able to find someone a little more understanding to help you through your recovery.

All the best
Anna : )

 

[Marguerite53]

just wondering

just wondering

I'm just wondering if it might not have been something additional that you were reacting to in that room. Was it a very old pillow? Goose feathers/down instead of poly fil? Was the room one which doesn't get used much and might be more dusty? Or, had she just dusted prior to your visit and unsettled alot of dust? Does she have pets that you aren't accustomed to having around?

Any of these things could have set off a reaction, too. Good thing you stayed there to test out a night. You might want to consider finding a different place to recuperate, or have her come stay with you!

Marguerite

 

[McCln]

Stacey

Stacey

I understand where you are coming from. I used to be a smoker myself, at one time. I quit six months before surgery. I have been always sensitive to perfumes and now to smoke of any kind. I alway hated cigar smoke, my father smked those when I was a child. When we want to have fresh air, our loved ones make life hard when they won't compromise. I hope you keep after them Make suggestion about how they would feel a lot better if they could try to quit smoking. Their health would improve immensly. I have been somber for over three years now and have no desire to smoke again. Get pamplets from doctor office aboout quit smoking groups. There are also online message boards that help also. I wish you a lot of luck, hard on a person who is gasping for air when others don't care. I will pray for you and your family to get through this time. Take care and hang in there. They will get the message someday. It took me over 25 years to get the message.

Caroline
09-13-01
Aortic valve replacement
St. Jude's valve