My sweet little princess

[knightinnarmor]

To whom will listen,

The most wonderful woman in not only my life but in this small world is slated for a, well lets just say a very serious heart surgery soon. I have to admit for the first time publicly, Im scared to death for this time to come. We met in the cold month of February of 2002, I courted her for moths and we then married. She was upfront with me and told me she had heart problems. It wouldnt change a thing with or without them, I love her dearly. My life would be very, VERY empty without her. Im worried sick that, well there is always that chance that when she has the surgery, she might not make it through. That would be a terrible day, not only for me but the world that knows her in general. The only problem is that world dont know her like I do. She always thinks about everyone else first (including me) and always does without. She is a mother of two and treats her loved ones like know one else would. Im extremely sad even letting my fingers doing the typing letting my words express my true feelings for this lovely woman, its been a very trying time for this first year of marriage with every thing that has happened in this short time. Anyone that reads this, and can feel my emotion about this subject, please do me a small favor? Pray for her full recovery as much as possible. Thank you, her KnightInnArmor.

 

[Karlynn]

Knight -
Can you fill us in on what type of heart problems your wife has and what kind of surgery she will be having? This is a very supportive and knowledgable group of people. We certainly can help you out with prayer. But maybe we can also help with some of your fears. There are lots of survivors in this forum.

Karlynn

 

[knightinnarmor]

My sweet little princess

Her problem deals with heart surgery to repair two bad valves in her heart. She also was told by the doctor that she has a blockage in her heart.

 

[Nancy]

Hi Knightinnarmor-

Welcome to this terrific website.

You have so eloquently expressed your love for your wife. What a wonderful man you are.

This site is made up of people who have either had serious heart surgery, are waiting to have it, or have loved ones who are in the same position.

My husband is the patient, and he's had 3 heart valve surgeries, 2 lung surgeries, has a pacemaker, and has many, many other very serious health conditions.

he was supposed to die at age 50, but he's 72 years old now, and is still here and has his life back. The things they can do today to fix up ailing hearts and bodies is truly amazing. He had rheumatic fever as a teen.

It is terrifying for the significant other to have to face this with their loved one. I've been in that position many, many times.

But please take comfort in the fact that many serious heart operations are highly perfected. They may be technically difficult, but the surgeons who do it are extremely gifted, and know how to take care of things.

Can you elaborate on just what kind of surgery your wife is going to have, and does she have a date yet for the surgery. We like to put all surgeries on the calendar so we can track them.

You and your wife will, of course, be in my thoughts and prayers. But please fill us in with some of the details.

You have many, many built-in friends here who understand everything you are saying. We all understand how scary it can be.

Please come here often and post as much as you want. You will get lots of responses. It's a very active board.

 

[knightinnarmor]

Nancy, thank you.

Nancy, thank you.

Nancy,

I have cousins in upstate NY, and I am from Pennsylvania orginally. You have been talking to my wife in fact. Her name is April.

 

[Nancy]

Oh, OK--

April, now I know. Member name atydev. It's so wonderful that she has such a supportive husband. You'll be her biggest cheerleader, I'm sure.

Now we have to work on you. Come join our little heart party. get some tips to help you help her. There are lots of ideas we all have that will offer lots of help for you both.

This group is excellent on preparing people for this kind of surgery.

One of the most important things you can do right now is to read everything you can on this site. Start out on the main page with the personal stories, and then graduate to the Pre-Surgery forum. You can select to see all the posts from the beginning, instead of the last 30 days, and that's a lot of posts. It will be very hard reading at first and may make you nervous. But the more you read, the less fear you will have, and the more you know, the better you will be able to help April. This site is a marvelous teaching tool. Once you have all the jargon down pat, you can take a look at the reference section, and go back to the beginning. There are excellent references there, some of which are highly technical.

Remember this surgery is life-saving. It will give April back her life and give her a much better quality of life. The surgery itself is highly perfected and the surgeons are terrific. The care that April will get in the hospital will be the best care available. She'll be monitored every hour of every day while she's in the hospital. And the best news is that, amazingly, she'll be out of the hospital in about a week! That always floors me. It seems like such a short time. But I assure you it is doable.

Once home, April will need your help for at least 2 weeks, or the help of other family members. She'll be very weak and tired, and sore. She won't be able to drive or lift anything for several weeks so her sterum area can heal.

Right now, you and the family can help April relax and sit down and put her feet up. She sounds like a real go-getter and pushes herself to the limits. But you can all rally around her and make her Queen for a few days while she awaits her surgery.

God Bless all of you. Everything will be OK.

 

[fisher6476]

Welcome knightinnarmour,
Both you and you wife are in good hands here. You've already got prayers going on for you and arms reaching out to you and your wife for cyber hugs. This is a great group with wonderful insights and experiences and a group that has many wonderful stories of people who have overcome or are overcoming all sorts of problems. Take a deep breath, read as much as you can, ask us ANYTHING, and let's see if we can't make things a little easier for you by sharing your load. Glad your here.
Steve

 

[hensylee]

Dear Knight - it is seldom we hear such beautiful words from a heart that is bleeding - as yours is. Your love for your dear April surely shines through. She is such a lucky lady to have such love. She is facing some serious surgery and you are facing it right along with her. YOU need as much support as she does and you can get it here. Most of us have never met each other so anything you want to say stays right here and we are able to express ourselves here when we can't do it anywhere else. You just come on in and we will share your tears. And your joys when this is over. God bless - Ann

 

[fdegranville]

My sweet little princess

Knight,
We are so glad you found our site. I want to say how much I admire your ability to articulate the love you have for your wife in such a touching manner. She is a very lucky lady.

The most important thing you will learn from this forum is the fact that there are hundreds and hundreds of success stories here. Believe it or not the surgeons consider this almost routine surgery today - (not the person who is going through it) and if you are comfortable and have confidence in the surgeon's ability just concentrate on learning as much as you can. As they say, knowledge is power and the greatest fear is that of the unknown.

Read the medical reports and feel free to post any and all questions here. The knowledge pool is deep, and everyone is willing to respond and help.

I hear the worst part is the waiting and once the surgery is over and the recovery begins you will be able to continue your new life together with great plans for a healthy future.

Best of luck.

fdegranville

 

[fisher6476]

Knight
I just wanted to add one thing. The "not Knowing" and the "waiting" is the tough part. About one month ago I found out I had a problem that if not taken care of soon, would likely kill me sometime in the future. I needed heart surgery. I was petrified, shocked, worried, .... The I found these folks and this forum. I truly believe that the waiting is the worst part both for the person who needs surgery, AND for the loved ones. I still have a couple of weeks to wait and though I know this Major Surgery, I am convinced that it is also routine. There are no garauntees that when you drive to work in the morning you won't get run over by a truck. BUT the odds are against it. The same is true with these surgeries. Odds are overwhelmingly in our favor. Believe me with my upcoming surgery, I know it is hard not to worry, but my boss once told me worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair and rocking back and forth for a long time. You use a lot of energy but you go know where. What has helped me and maybe could help you is to use the energy you would spend worrying, and read and learn as much as you can. It will really help put things in perspective.
Steve

 

[sylviayasgur]

hi knightinarmour!
i, too, was so touched by your description of the love you have for your wife; it was beautifully written from the heart.
there are many of us here who have gone through this surgery with our spouses. so, you are among great friends and company.
please know that as others have said, this surgery is being done so often today that surgeons have it down to a science_ it's amost routine. both you and april will be so amazed at how much better she will feel after the surgery.
it will certainly take a bit of time for her to recover, but as time goes by you will both see a big difference.
you must be so worried and afraid. we can all relate and remember being in your shoes.
i also agree that knowledge is power and reading and learning from this site will give you a tremendous sense of control.
please keep coming back. remember, no question is too small... we are all here for you.
wishing you all the best, sylvia

 

[KimC]

Knight,

Wow, your testament to the love you feel for your wife is inspiring. Please know that God loves you, April and your sons. He will be by your side through the most difficult moments to come. Take your burdens to Him and feel confident and at peace that He will shelter you and your little princess, whatever may come.

Please check into VR.com any time you need a little lift. We're here for you and your wife and family.

Peace,

 

[knightinnarmor]

Tears from the heart

Tears from the heart

I sincerely appreciate any and all responses from you all. I know more and more often as the time approaches, I can be driving, working, sitting alone on our porch or even sitting here typing and can feel the tears welling up, if not on the outside where you can see them, certainly on the inside from a lady that had truly touched my heart from day one that to sum it up in one word, indescribable. I just cant help to feel the sadness that fills my heart to know what my life would be like w/o her. I would like to ask as many of you caring people a question if I may? My wife worked for this man that runs a hotel business up until she had been ill. She went into the hospital with Endocrinitis and I almost lost her. When she was thought she was well enough she tried to go back to work to take the strain off of me having to pull in most of the income. I refused to let her go back and by this point she was told that her job was no longer available. This man has went well past the limits that anyone (let alone my wife) had put her through while she worked there. She wants to go to work so bad and I refuse at this point to let her stain her heart any more than she already has. Is that such a crime? I feel guilty from time to time but my heart refuses to let her to try to help me at this point in time. I will not let her jeopordize herself. I know her thoughts and her reasons but I feel I will do what I need to do to help this family stay afloat. I will run my self ragged for this woman to support her and her sons. I work six days a week and need to know what I can do more. Please respond? I need you all.

Sincerely,
KnightInnArmor

 

[Nancy]

It sounded like April had quite a few serious heart symptoms. Does she have a surgical date yet?

Why not go with her to the cardiologist on her next appointment and discuss it with the cardiologist. It's hard to give an answer to that question. Many people do continue to work right up to surgery. But there are many considerations that the cardiologist can help you both sort out. So I guess my answer would be, It all depends.

Just a thought, getting a new job at this point and then taking off 6-8 weeks after heart surgery soon after, may not be looked at favorably by the employer.

It might be better to get surgery done, and recover, and then get the new job. She'll be feeling better and will be able to give full energy to the job.

 

[Harrybaby666]

Hi Knight

Hi Knight

Hi Knight,

Just want to welcome you to this wonderful place..I was really touched by the love you have for your wife...It is absolutely priceless! Now, just remember that during the surgery that you have all of the people on this website on your side. It really helps me, like today for instance. I have been feeling quite scared with the way that I have been feeling because I had to go off my lasix for a day for surgery, and today was the day I paid the price for it. I kept in mind that there are alot of wonderful people on valve replacement.com who care and it got me through my bad spell, which still isnt over with, but I coped with it better knowing I have the people from this forum. I pray that things go smoothly for your wife and she has a speedy recovery. Take care, Harrybaby666

 

[McCln]

Knight,
It is wonderfull that you are such a caring and loving husband. I had a penpal who had surgery and had other problems that mad it hard after surgery to keep working. Her husband was so sweet, he stood by her and let her stay home. It was very hard for her to find work and when she did, it was hard on her. So you keep standing by your woman and you will have many blessings. Take care.

Caroline
09-13-01
Aortic valve replacement
St Jude's valve

 

[Georgia]

Lucky April, Lucky Knight

Lucky April, Lucky Knight

Sometimes miracles happen and soulmates find each other. It's an inspiration.

Put yourself in April's position - if you were she, would you feel that you're a burden, or not contributing? I think that the vast majority of us who've been in her position know when we need to stop working. Sometimes we just got bored not doing much and tried to do too much and became convinced pretty soon that we needed to be aware of our limitations. So don't worry so much about the over-doing. Give her all the support and help you can.

And as everyone else has said, be knowledgable about her condition. I think that all of us are proof that our illnesses aren't the end of the world (for most of us, at any rate). Surgery and recovery are doable. Have faith in the docs and in April.

Hang in there, buddy - and make this a very special Thanksgiving because April has something they can fix.