My surgery was just booked for 3/10!

[Andrea]

HELP!

Yikes I am nervous and I know you all hear this all the time but this site has been my saving grace. I am new here and dont know anyone but already feel such a sense of connection which is so nice to have during 'the waiting time'. I have severe mytral damage and will have an MVR in four weeks. I am 31 and have a 1 year old and a 3 year old. I am trying to find comfort, solace and information on the post-op and recovery experience. I have four weeks to gather myself for this.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to things I should 'take care of' before surgery? I figure I should have my house nice and organized and clean, and have my haircut, see my dentist and I have to get my tubes tied quick since I will be on coumadin. I even thought of going and buying a new recliner and bed to make sure I am comfortable but maybe thats pushing it. Did anyone post-op think 'Geez I wish I had taken care of that before surgery' ? And what was it? Am I maybe being a bit too obsessive about this ... Or is it good to be prepared?

Any thoughts would be helpfull I think I am in 'spaz' mode

 

[weekycat]

Welcome Andrea!

Welcome Andrea!

Hi Andrea,

My name is Jean, I had my mitral valve repaired last May. I know it can be really scary. You'll be fine though, I'm sure of it. It seems like a really overwhelming thing to go through, but looking back, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.

I had intentions of getting my house clean and organized etc. Of course I didn't get it as clean as I would have liked. I, (like lots of others here), found myself on this board when I should have been cleaning, and before I knew it, the day was upon me!

Is your surgeon considering repairing your mitral valve? Mine was 99% sure he could repair mine, and if he couldn't he was going to give me a mechanical valve. The repair was successful, and I ended up being on Coumadin for just 6 weeks, which was much better than being on it forever!

Sounds like you've got things under control, and if you can afford it, I would definitely get the recliner! I didn't have one, and my wonderful husband went and bought one for me about the 2nd day I was home. There will be times when it 's uncomfortable to sleep lying down and you might want to sleep in the recliner. I also found that more comfortable to sit in during the day than the bed or couch.

If you have long hair, I wouldn't necessarily get it cut just for the surgery, I put mine in a french braid, which worked out well, cuz it didn't get all messed up during surgery or the next day or 2. After that, a nurse brushed it out, and put it in a pony tail for me. The only thing is to use a hair tie that doesn't have metal in it. They don't like you to have any metal on your body.

I hope you've made arrangements for some help with your little ones, my youngest was 5 and wasn't a big problem, she knew she had to be careful with mom for a while.

Good Luck, and feel free to ask any other questions. there's always someone here to answer you!

 

[lcwhitney]

Don't try to d everything, just do what you feel up to doing and everything else will take care of itself. I had to have my surgery scheduled twice. The first time I waited from March to June and the second time I waited from June to August. You can't dwell on all the little things. Get your tubes tied quickly and spend some time doing things with you children, you will not physically be able to even hold them for a while after your surgery. I had an aortic valve replacement, a pulmonary valve replacement and a repair of a pulmonary artery anuerysm. I promise you will probable not even want company much less have the energy to deal with you children at first but this will quickly improve a few weeks after surgery.

Lettitia

 

[hensylee]

Get in some extra soups for quick meals for the little ones (and you, too). If you can find a sleep bra that hooks in the front, get one that's a size too big, so you can keep 'things' where they belong and not dragging on your sternum incision. Take a big shirt, front button, to hosp to wear home. You will be just fine, trust us. God bless

 

[Mb]

Hello!

I know this must be a scarey time for you, with the little ones especially. I would suggest just a couple of little things:

1. Make sure the freezer/frig. are full. Husbands have a tendency to become foggy when there is nothing in there to heat up/cook.Also, what is in there should be something he can handle.
2. My husband and I worked out a system when we had company. (He had the double valve surgery.) He has a very large family, and we have a wonderful group of friends. He wouold sit up for a while to visit, and then when he either looked tired to me, or gave me a "hand signal" that he'd had enough, I would say, during a slight pause on the conversation " Hey babe,
you looked tired. Time for the recliner." Our company qould quickly get the hint.
3. Take every bit of help that is offered. Even three weeks post op, a neighbor bringing over a meal is a big help.....if not to you then your husband. Offers to take the children for an outing, someone to do the wash, anything. And if someone offers, tell them what would be helpful.
4. Buy the recliner. We did, after 33 years of my saying I wouldn't have one in the house, the day we found out he needed surgery, we went out and got one. He continues to use it every day, and has found it to be a great way to relax. BTW, it was one of the very few times in the months before the surgery, that the two of us almost fell over from giggling....talking about all of the fun things we might be able to use it for.
5. Do not worry about the house. You are probably not up to getting it all cleaned anyway, so spend the time with the kids instead.

Best wishes......you are on the uphill, but the downhill is beautiful.

Marybeth

 

[Vicki448]

If I were you, I would take out additional life insurance. I had adequate coverage and didn't even think about getting more, but now that my surgery is over, I realize that I will probably never be able to afford additional coverage. So, if I had it to do all over again, I would take out a policy and secure a low premium while my health was "unblemished."

 

[epstns]

Insurance?

Insurance?

Vicki - Do you know the ins and outs of the insurance application process? Does your knowing that you have the "condition" affect being able to get the insurance? Does a murmur exclude you. etc.?

I'm thinking of taking out some extra term insurance but don't know if having a valve problem but being pre-op makes any difference.

 

[Andrea]

Insurance

Insurance

I am pretty sure that you cant take out a substancial policy without a written statement from your doc advsing of any exsisting conditions. But maybe some insurance policies dont require that. I already have a pretty good life insurance policy.

 

[epstns]

Insurance

Insurance

That's kind of what I thought. I do remember going through "insurance physicals" for the policies I now have (blood test, urine analysis, stethoscope for chest sounds, etc.). I wonder how thorough they really are. . .

 

[marywoody]

I agree with the others - buy the recliner and stock up on quickie food. I would also suggest you make sure you have lots of comfy pillows. I could only sleep in bed by building a pillow fortress to lean against. My best little friends are two traveler's pillows left over from when my hubby broke his shoulder. They're small and are great for tucking into odd spots, hugging to your chest, etc. They even helped my lay on my back because when they were under my arms, it helped take some the stretch off my chest. I wish I would've gotten a body pillow, too, but I didn't

 

[Guest]

I would echo the advice you received from Jean to get extra help from friends/family for the care of your little ones. I have 3 kids (11, 6 & 3) and I don't know what I would have done without the help I received from others. I had an aunt & my MIL come and stay with our family for the first two weeks post-op and it was wonderful! I didn't have to worry with falling behind with the laundry or any of the daily "stuff" of life. (With little ones around you ALWAYS have lots of "stuff" - LOL ) It gave me a lot more time to just sit back, relax and enjoy spending time with them. And after you go through such mind-boggling, tension filled surgery as this, all you will want to do is hold those you love a little closer when it's all over with.
I'm glad you found our growing family. Everyone here will be pulling for you as surgery date nears. Feel free to ask any questions you have. We'll be glad to help!

Julia

 

[Ms. Ramsey]

I Andrea, my name is Mary and I'm kind of new to the site, too. I had a valve repair six months ago. I think the biggest help was the offer from my mom to take my six year old for ten days. I didn't think I would need that much time since I actually felt pretty good in the hospital. But it was really nice to just have myself to worry about (my husband and 18 year old were a great help) during the day.

So if anyone offers to watch the kids for a while and you feel comfortable with them - do it! No need to be a hero when it's something as major as this.

The best of luck. Mary

 

[Andrea]

I will definately take all the help I can get. I'm just worried that at 3 and only 1 that my kids wont understand why I can pick them up and take them to the park and such. The more I read posts and replies, the more at ease I feel.

Ms. Ramsey, how long did it take you to do certain things? Like driving and shopping? Did you feel like getting out soon or was it too much? I am 31 and always feel like I need to be 'on the go'.

 

[terry40]

Andrea

Andrea

I was the one with lists of things to do, it kept me very busy and tired, not much time to dwell or worry about surgery.

I agree with the rest, accept the help when offered, get a recliner, it was the only way I could get comfortable.

Go out for dinner, and order a thick red juicy steak, right before surgery, as long as your coronary arteries are clear, it was recomended by the cath lab nurses.

Get yourself a beautiful journal, to write your journey in, the good and the bad, you will be a help to someone later, and we tend to forget some of the details. I started mine the week before my Cath.

I'm 3 months post-surgery, MVR

Terry40

 

[Creed3]

Hi Andrea!
Boy, I feel like you are going through what I went through 4 1/2 months ago. The only difference is I had no time to prepare for anything. When I had my surgery my kids were 3 and 7 months.
The 7 month old handled the situation ok, she was too young to realize what was going on. The 3 year old on the other hand had a really tough time with it. She had never been away from me over night. I went 10 days without seeing her. Every child is different, so I don't know how your 3 year old is handling this, but it is a traumatic time for a child. Just make sure the time is taken to address the trauma and stress your kids may go through. My daughter, now 4, still has moments where she still thinks about when she was away from me and what happened to me. After surgery, she was very scared to be away from me, she was afraid that I wouldn't come back.
I would definately get the recliner. You will have trouble laying flat for awhile. Also have plenty of pillows.
You will not be able to pick up your kids for quite awhile. You will even have trouble doing things that seem simple, like changing diapers etc.....It is a good idea to have someone around to take care of the children for a few weeks. I'm not sure what kind of arrangements your husband might have concerning work, but my husband was only able to be off two weeks and that was including when I was in the hospital. My mother and in-laws came to help out with the kids. You will also need to have someone drive you places when you need to go somewhere. You will not be able to drive for about 6 weeks. I always tell everyone to try to look at their recovery on a week to week basis, not day to day. You will definately see a bigger difference in your recovery that way. This is a very scarey time for you, but believe me, the waiting is the worst. You will be glad when it is all over and you are on your way to recovery. Good Luck with everything and if you ever need to talk, please pm or email me.

Take Care!
Gail

P.S.
Don't worry so much about getting the house clean, unless it is something that makes you feel better and keeps your mind off things. Everyone is also right about having plenty of dinners in the freezer. You and your family will want quick and easy meals. It's one less thing to deal with when you come home.
Do your walking, breathing exercises and get plenty of rest. You'll be back to your old self before you know it.

 

[alicia]

Andrea, Im 4 1/2 weeks post op (mitral valve replacement) and I would highly reccomend the recliner! Im still sleeping in mine. I actualy go from the bed to the recliner ( I switch up every few hours) have plenty of pillows for the bed to get comfortable. Get plenty of good bras to wear, and a must for the hospital that I found was Chap Stick! My lips were so dry and cracked I was so thankful someone on VR suggested that. Stock up on easy foods for your husband to prepare and ginger ale and crackers for those queasy days after you get home. Im soo glad I got my haircut right before surgery. For 2 weeks I stayed in teh house, I didnt want or feel up to going anywhere. After those 2 weeks I started getting stir crazy! I cant wait to start driving again. They told me to wait 6-8 weeks to drive and to lift anything over 5 pounds. I had a very tough surgery. I actualy had 2 surgeries in one. They tried to do minimaly invasive going in under right breast and couldnt so I have a scar there and the sternum scar.
I wish you the best of luck. If you want to e mail me for further surgery info, feel free to at [email protected]. I will be glad to talk to you about this stressful time. We have all been thru it and we all do know what youre feeling. It helps to talk about it to people that know where youre coming from. Sorry for the long post. Get well quick and keep us updated.