my fine wife

[doberman]

My fine healthy wife is in the hospital with a blockage of her small intestine and me with 8 days until my surgery . The surgeons are trying a conservative treatment for now. Our young children ( 1 and 4) are with family. I am praying my wife does not need an operation and my kids can some home. How could this happen now?
JD

 

[hensylee]

John, what a nasty kick in the head. I hope things straighten out in the next few days so you can handle one problem at a time. It's gotta be rough on both of you. My prayers......

 

[Ross]

While I'm sorry to hear your wife is having troubles, I've learned in the past not to push the Matrix. If you have to cancel your surgery, there is a reason. Never question it, just work with it.

I'll keep you and yours in thought and prayer. Let us know how it's going.

 

[Karlynn]

As Rosann Rosannadana would say "It's always sumthin"

I hope your wife is feeling better soon.

And as Ross suggested - go with the flow.

 

[doberman]

I hope to proceed

I hope to proceed

Thanks for the kind thoughts, things are different here in Canada it took me 8 months to get this date with the surgeon, and I did not know the operation date of Aug 12 until last week, I really feel that I need to get on with it. If at all possible I want to proceed and my family agrees.
Wish us luck!

 

[Ross]

While I sympathize with your situation and understand your thoughts on it, I highly recommend reconsidering if need be. You'll need her support more then you realize right now, also the mental aggravation of clusters of things wrong are not going to help you while trying to recover. Believe me, this all adds up in the end.

 

[Yaps]

Oh my goodness..when it rains it

Oh my goodness..when it rains it

does pour. My thoughts are with you and your family, mercy..Im kind of with Ross though if you can hold off on yours do so..it will be tough trying to do this.. Love Yaps

 

[Glenda]

John my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I know it must be a tough decision to make but you will make the right one. Regardless of what happens you both will need each other to be strong during this trial time.

 

[tobagotwo]

That is a rather unforgiving medical system you have. And karma.

Maybe you can meet in the neutropenic ward after surgery. At this point, just be glad you have family to watch the kids for a bit. If you're both scaring your children to pieces, they may appreciate you more when you're both back.

If it is not now, it will become clear to you what to do. Until then, go in and out with the tide. You are not driving this bus.

Best wishes for a good surgery on the 12th, and a clean, swift recovery for you both.

 

[Granbonny]

Family

Family

I hope you have a large supporting family..On both sides...If so, let her family watch the kids, ect. and take care of her..if need be..Let your family help you...Hopefully, meds will help your wife..but you both need your families around.....I just returned home from hospital where my son-in-law had emergency surgery last night. Ruptured appendix. Thank goodness. His family and my family were there. His wife, my daughter, was on a business trip..and I worked with her on flights, ect. to get home. And His family stayed with him...We all managed to be there last night when his surgery took place....He is fine now..but will be in hospital a long time. We all take care of their needs. Family is important in time of things like this..I will be thinking of both of you. Bonnie

 

[bvdr]

I'm so sorry that your family is having such a tough time. I hope your wife soon feels better and your upcoming surgery is a complete success. If you have to postpone your surgery then do it. Do you have a contact person in the Canandian health system that can address this issue for you? I remember reading stories by other members who had multiple things going on in their families at the time of their surgeries and a real common diameter was EXTREME STRESS. If possible, try to smooth the feathers in your nest before surgery so you have a comfy place in which to recover.

 

[Abbanabba]

So sorry to hear about your wife - especially given the timing. I'm sure if you ask, you will be surprised how many of your family and friends will be willing to help you out if you need it. And yes, definitely get in touch with your medical services and see if there are any options available to help you and your wife with the kids and your own medical needs.

All the best. I'll be sending positive thoughts your way.
Anna

 

[Harpoon]

Yeah, little bad karma in there from somewhere.... Ouch.


The Canadian health care system is nice if you don't need service right away, otherwise, it's a pain in the arse and sometimes, near deadly.


I don't know what your health is like now, but if you're at ALL symptomatic, don't put off the surgery. A few months or more delay can see your heart go down the tubes fast and it will be harder to recover, if you're not in the best of shape now.


On the plus side, you have someone already in place to watch the kids and they're young.

My son was three when I had surgery last year. He didn't see me for over two months, though we talked on the phone almost every night for the month before I got home. I wasn't talking much to anyone the first month in the hospital....

My wife spent that first month with me in Cleveland. She talked to her son every night, but was 200+ miles away for a long time.

When we finally got home, Patrick was nearly beside himself.

My father and my wife dropped me off at home first then went to pick him up. I took the time alone to take a shower in my own house (GAWD THAT FELT GOOD) and change. When they got back, patrick came FLYING into the house, racing as fast as he could through the kitchen and into the living room where I was sitting screaming, "DADDY'S HOME! DADDY'S HOME! DADDY'S HOME!" Then he tripped over his feet as he entered the living room and promptly spring back up and raced back out into the kitchen screaming, "LOOK MOMMY, DADDY'S HOME!"

He'd grown a lot while I was away.... Those are awfully strong memories for me.

Patrick was 3 at the time, he adjusted pretty well. He hating being away, he hated not being able to sit on my lap or listen to me read to him, his tiny voice over the phone was almost painful to listen too, "I wanna go home, I wanna go home..." Now, he knows Daddy's gotta ticking heart and he kinda knows why. He knows I go to see my doctors quite often and actually looks forward to the trips, my cardiologist has a stash of Jolly Rancher lollipops and we all get one with every visit.... He doesn't ever want to see me go back to Cleveland, but he understands that I'm still "sick" and he watches out for me some when he's not too busy being a kid. =)

 

[doberman]

some good news

some good news

The docs took my wife off the OR list this morning, if things continue to improve she could be home by Sunday, if not she will be going in the O.R. BUT she is improving! I don't doubt that some of you are right about postponing the surgery it is just that I am ready, I have told my friends and family that I will need some heavy support. I talked to my friends and family and they are all in agreement that I should not delay the surgery, and one of them is a doctor. As far as the medical system here, I could delay but that would put me back in the rotation and I would have to wait for another date, but it probably and hopefuly would be in a month or so. The doctors and nurses here in the hospital are oustanding, just the best fine, warm, caring, and sometimes funny prople. If my wife takes a turn for the worse I will absolutely delay...As far as the Karma thing I don't fell like I have bad luck or bad Karma, this is a bump in the road and as someone said I am not driving the bus. I have a wonderful life and beautfiful family and freinds I will get through this like many of you have gotten through your tough times by taking it day by day. Thanks again for your thoughts
God Bless JD

 

[Marguerite53]

keep us posted

keep us posted

I know we are all glad to hear of your wife's improvement. Thank goodness! I couldn't even respond to your opening thread, I just couldn't imagine the stress! I'm way down the road (they think) for OHS so I don't have any guidance for you there.

Mostly, I just wanted to say that people are very flexible. And. People will come out of the woodwork to help you when you least expect that they can or will. People want to be included in an effort to help and they want to know that they made a difference for you in their effort. All you need to do is ask. My brother-in-law was dramatically injured several years ago and because the word got out, well, we're sure he survived because of all the help and support that came his way over the several years of recovery.

I loved Harpoon's story. Very sweet. You took us right there to the moment. Any parent will flush warm with that story!

The comment about bad karma -- you know, I think many of us have different notions about karma. It has become a part of our everyday vernacular and it isn't always clear where one is thinking the karma is coming from, or what its intent is. It is a loaded word. I do know that no one in this community means to suggest that you are an unlucky person, or that you had something in your destiny that made this occur.

Try to take some extra time to relax and enjoy your children. Rent a dumb movie and laugh yourself silly (maybe we should start a thread of funniest ever movies -- or did we already do that?). Break up the tension. Be good to yourself. Hang in there and the best of luck to you and your family. We're all pulling for you here!

Marguerite

 

[Abbanabba]

I'm so glad to hear your wife is improving. I'll keep sending the positive thoughts (to you both) - hope they help!

All the best
Anna : )

 

[Kelly Luisi]

I am glad to hear your wife is improving. Life has a way of handing out too many things for us to handle at one time huh? There is nothing that GOD give us though that we can not handle. Although at time it seems that way.

Enjoy your children as you yourself prepare for surgery and do not hesitate to call on friends, family and your community to help. You will be suprised how many hands and heart will extend into your world if given the opportunity. I am praying for your family!