My Decision

[carlapv]

Just completed my Living Will and the Durable Power of Attorney as well as my Will. Funny, how little I have to leave to anyone! It was a very sobering experience for me although I must say that I have a sense of well being knowing that the decisions I made were mine and that I have not put any of the people I love in a position to decide whether I live or die should the situation arise. It all sounds so morbid and I have put this off all this time because I just didn't want to think about it.

Well, it appears that I have done all the things I was instructed to do and all that's left is to wait on the supplemental insurance to take effect so that I can set the date.

Any ideas how to stop the nightmares about ventilators, chest tubes, etc.? I am such a chicken!

Carla

 

[Nancy]

Ask for good drugs while in ICU!

 

[fyrfytr]

Hey Carla,
Try not to worry so much about those things. They will not be that big a deal. You will be just fine. Talk to your Cardiologist about your concerns and than tell them you want to be medicated when they take the chest tubes out. Again just try to relax and do some fun things to take your mind off of all this. I will bet you that when it is all over with you say to yourself, why did I worry so much for, this was not that bad.
Take Care and remember we are all here for you.

Dave
________________________
Surgery: 4/21/03
Aortic Aneurysm Repair
AVR, with a St. Jude Mechanical

 

[Christina L]

Join the club!

Join the club!

Carla,

Hey, join the chicken club with me! I have to be the most squeamish person about needles and hospitals. However, I am not really afraid of the surgery any more (Nov 5) - maybe it is because of all the wonderful support and helpful suggestions from the people on this board.

However, ask me again how scared I am the night before surgery. Hee.

I am planning to ask for lots of "la-la" drugs to get me through and to let them know I want the tube out of my throat before I wake up (if possible).

What are you going to have done, may I ask? I am going to have a repair of my mitral valve attempted, but a replacement may be necessary as I have a very "nasty" valve so I've been told.

You will be fine, you will. Just put one foot in front of the other - it is a common saying that sounds so trite, but it REALLY works.

Chris

 

[carlapv]

Hi Chris,

I am going to have both the mitral valve and the aortic valve replaced. I know that everything is going to be fine, but for some reason even after all the support that I have received on this site, and the encouragement from everyone, I still have these ridiculous nightmares. Perhaps I don't keep myself busy enough and have too much time to think about it, so that when I go to sleep it's in the back of my mind.

Good luck with your surgery. I have been reading your posts and I know that everything will be fine for you also.

Carla

 

[Ross]

Carla no matter what you do, it will be on your mind. Try not to worry so much. You will be fine and this will all be a memory soon. Don't let it eat at you. I know it's not easy, but try.

 

[Christina L]

Anti-Anxiety medications

Anti-Anxiety medications

Carla,

Ross is right. You will be worried to some extent, but try-try-try to do everything to not think about things. I keep busy and sleep a lot!

As for your sleep, if it is fitful and filled with scary dreams, have you thought about an anti-anxiety medication such as Ativan? I am on that and I sleep like a rock. You really need good sleep prior to your surgery. Ativan really does take the edge off and I am not embarrassed to say that I need to use the medicine to get me through this. A lot of people on this board used anti-anxiety meds or anti-depressants before and after their surgery.

You WILL be fine, so will I, and thank you for your kind words regarding my upcoming procedure. One gal who had a mitral valve replacement with a mechanical valve over 10 years ago (from Mended Hearts organization) says she feels so good, that sometimes she wonders if the surgery 10 years ago was a figment of her imagination - we only have a great quality of life to look forward to once our surgeries are behind us.

God bless!

Chris

 

[Ross]

Chris you can send me your Ativan when your done with it.

 

[carlapv]

Ross,
Thanks for the support. The more I think about it the more I am convinced that I need to do something to get my mind off it for awhile. I think I will reupholster my dining room chairs. That should keep me occupied.

Chris,
I am on Wellbutrin but I have had a hard time sleeping for a couple of years, but that's just part of the big change.
Like I said to Ross, I am just going to keep myself really busy and not give myself too much time to dwell on it.

We will both be fine.

Carla

 

[Johnny Stephens]

Carla, believe the others when they tell you that these things that you fear are transient, and will pass quickly. The staff will make sure you are comfortable. What's the old pilot's saying - "If you're not at least a little apprehensive, you probably don't understand your situation."

On another note, you mention 2 valves being replaced - aortic and mitral. I only knew for sure beforehand that I was having my aortic replaced, there had only been very remote discussion of having to do the mitral. Alas, once I woke up I was informed I was a "double mechanical"

Best of luck. You'll be fine!

 

[tommy]

Johnny, do you have your own percussion section in there?

 

[pegne]

Carla

Carla

As someone who has had 4 heart surgeries (valve repairs and/or replacements) I can assure you that the ventilator and chest tubes are not that bad. I don't even remember the ventilator. It made my husband sick when they took out the chest tubes but it happened so fast that its over before you know it. I have to ask though. How old are you? I looked on your profile and it says you were born in 1947. That makes you 55 or 56 years old. I am stunned. You don't look like your over 25. Anyway, good luck to you. Believe me you will be fine. Peggy

 

[carlapv]

Thanks all for your support and encouragement. Thanks Peggy for the compliment. I was 56 in May and I have two fantastic grandsons, one 12 and one 6. They are the joy of my life. I have to brag a little - My grandson, Michael who is twelve just received notice that on the state standardized testing he had the highest score in the state for 7th graders. He is going to receive an award today in a program at school and was taken out to dinner last night by the principal of his school and 2 of his teachers. I am sooo proud!

Thanks again everyone!

Carla

 

[Ross]

Let me launch the photo satellite and I'll get an updated photo of Carla. I still think she's fibbin to us.

 

[carlapv]

Aren't you sweet!!! My husband is a photographer and he has all the filters and stuff that really make you look better! Plus alot is lost when you shrink it to fit here.
Now you know my secret.

Carla

 

[Kathy]

I envy those of you who found this site well in advance of your surgery and are able to get support from this compassionate group of people! My journey through the system was fast and furious. I didn't have much time to think about what was happening or what was ahead of me. I did have some knowledge about the surgery. My mother-in-law had a mitral valve replacement in 1993 and ironically enough I was the family member who moved in and took care of her for three weeks after her discharge from the hospital. I got books from the library and read some things on the internet. I think I found this sight 3 days before surgery was scheduled.

When fearful thoughts entered my mind, I gave myself a mental kick, and reminded myself that I had no control over those thoughts entering my mind, but I could control how long the thoughts would remain there. I find it helps if you can do something that takes all of your concentration. Upholstering sounds like a good choice! I like to play the piano. I'm somewhat out of practice, so it takes every ounce of concentration to play.

You mentioned Wellbutrin. I was on that for about three weeks when I quit smoking five years ago. It did help, but my sleep patterns were disturbed. I woke up every hour. I double-checked several sites and sleep disorders are a known side-effect. I decided quitting cold turkey was preferable to losing all that sleep. I wasn't on it long enough for my body to adjust to the medication.

Keep busy!

 

[Georgia]

On the up side

On the up side

if you're having nightmares, you must be sleeping.

And I'm not making light of your fears - I was very fearful, but did have the good fortune to only have about 10 days between diagnosis and surgery. And I'm with Kathy - wish I'd found vr.com before surgery.

If we could come over and rip those fears right out of all of you awaiting surgery we would. Because with a few notable exceptions, the presurgery fear was the worst thing about all of this. I guess it's because such good pain control is practiced, and after surgery you're so BUSY - breathing, thinking about walking, walking, getting over walking, breathing, sleeping grumbling, etc. In the hospital you're pretty much completely wrapped up in yourself and getting through the day.

At home you just want to kick back and do those three things - the ol' breathe walk and nap; and get back and neck massages from your spouse or whoever's taking care of you.

All in all, post surgery is a busy time. Now is the tough time.

But there's a time of peace coming; mostly everyone reach a place a calm just prior to surgery. Can't describe it - it's like a welcome resignation.

Good luck. We're always here, or close by.

And Peggy: who's that dolly in your avatar? How precious.

 

[pegne]

Georgia

Georgia

That dolly is my Leah bug. She's my first very, very, spoiled granddaughter. The second was born just Wed. A beauty named Maddie. Last spring I took pics of Leah with her papas overalls on from when he was a baby and I bought a doo rag for her head. They really turned out cute. Although you can't see the bibs you can see the doo rag she was wearing. I see you have a couple of cuties there yourself. Carla, you have every right to be very proud of you grandson. Your proud anyway and add to that this accomplishment in his young life. Boast away lady

 

[Nan]

Hi Carla,

It is natural to be a bit nervous and anxious about impending surgery. I vote with the Ativan. I am not sure that the Wellbutrin that you are taking is doing the trick. My primary care put me on Ativan during the day prior to surgery, and although I was a bit in la la land some days, it helped me get through, and also to sleep.

Talk to your docs and let them know how you are feeling.

I also was given some tapes to help relax with, and they helped a great deal. There are some hospitals out there that have pre surgery ones that really do a good job. You might look for some.

I was asleep when they took the breathing tube out, but awake with the chest tube ....it was so fast that I didn't even realize it was happening....did not really hurt either, just felt funny.

Good luck to you.

 

[Christina L]

Carla,

I agree with the others about you not looking a day over 30 by your picture!!! I was talking "down" to you as if you were my little sister or something!! Now, I know you are a mature woman who can make her own decisions and be strong on her own!! Watch out for women over 40, I say!!

I agree, though, about Ross shrinking down these pictures of us - it erases a multitude of sins from our faces if you ask me - hee! It works kind of like air brushing or something.

Chris