My dad

[jenny]

Hi everyone , I hope as many of you can answer this for me, for I really would appreciate an opinion of this. My dad went to the heart doctor the other day and they told him that he would probably need open heart surgery;for his aortic and mitrol valve are both leaking severely, My dad is 86 years old and is so very fragile (weighs 133 pounds) . He has no energy now, and is out of breath just walking in the house. My sisters and brothers want him to at least find out about the surgery and than make a decision if this is for him or not. The problem we (brothers and sisters) are having now, is that my dad says he will NOT have it done and more than likely will not even follow up on the appointments that we have for him. Please , could someone out there , please tell us what most likely will happen if my dad does not have this done? We really would just like opinions on this. We will show what you write to our dad. We just want him to get all the knowledge he can on this, but we are so afraid he is going to just ignore this and hope it will go away or get better. Thank you so much for reading this and we really welcome all replies. Sincerely ,Lynne T

 

[Ross]

Well if he doesn't have it done, death will be the result. Is he in otherwise fine health? If there isn't anything else wrong with him and he's pretty physically fine, there is no reason why he couldn't go through this and add more quality to his life as well as time. For his age, I would not let the local hospital have his case, but get him to a well known institution such as Mayo or the Cleveland Clinic for the surgery, but that's something you'll have to consider.

 

[EVELYN]

Hi Jenny

Ross said it quite well and he's absolutely right, especially the part about gertting to a good clinic.

Evelyn

 

[Kate]

Dear Jenny,
I'm very sorry your family is having to make this difficult decision. Of course, I am not a doctor and so cannot give medical advice. However, I had my aortic valve replaced last year at the age of 38 and am happy to share what little knowledge I have with you.

My understanding is that your father's condition will eventually end his life if he does not get it corrected. However, how long that would take will depend upon how severe the valves are leaking and probably many other factors related to his overall health.

This surgery is certainly doable - it isn't as painful as one might assume and many people your father's age and older successfully recover from it. That said, it is very major surgery and takes a long time to bounce back from. As a relatively young person, it still took me nine months to really feel like myself again. I can't say what it would feel like for an older person, but hopefully one of our senior members can add their comments on this.

In the end, this seems like one of those decisions that may have no right answer. Your father will need to decide what is best in consultation with his cardiologist and based on his overall health, what he feels capable of facing and what his personal beliefs suggest is the best way to manage the final years of his life. If he decides to go forward, I'd encourage you to go to the best surgeon possible, as experience matters especially when dealing with higher risk cases. This forum could help you identify who might be in your area. I'll keep you in my thoughts. Kate

 

[barbwil]

A 76 yr old viewpoint

A 76 yr old viewpoint

Jenny, I see by your profile that you have had valve repair, replacement, and bypass surgery in the last 12 years so you know what your dad would be facing.

If you are looking for statistics do a google -"valve surgery elderly". There is a wealth of info on surgery on us "old folks".

However, after you have all the facts, dangers, successes, etc. I hope you and your siblings will respect the fact that this is your dad's life and his decision to make. It is hard for a parent when the children (always children in our eyes) take over the role of parent and try to force their views on us. I'm sure you would like to see your dad live on forever but you know that will not happen. So however he decides give him all the support you can.

"Getting old is not for wimps!" Life is sometimes very hard but it makes us very strong also.

 

[geebee]

Welcome Jenny, sorry for the reason you found us but happy you did.

As Ross said, if your father is healthy except for the valve problems, he should be able to get through surgery. However, you did mention he was fragile based on his weight. Is there other things going on? If his problems can be directly attributed to the valves then surgery should fix them.

You should try to determine if surgery will solve the SOB and fatigue by talking to his doctor. If so, then try to find out just why your father is against having surgery. Maybe he feels he will be worse but, if you can show he will have a better life, he might be more comfortable having the valves replaced. It sounds like his valves are bad enough that he will die without surgery.

Ultimately it is his decision and his life. If he decides against surgery, please try to respect that decision no matter how hard it might be for your family.

I wish you all the very best.

 

[Granbonny]

Hi Jenny

Hi Jenny

My age 85 year old Aunt had OHS at age 85...Not for valves..but she lived another 5 years. Passed away a few months ago from cancer.she had a son who lived with her..and he said, she did great after the surgery.... If your Dad does have the surgery..someone would need to live with him...Fulltime...At his age..Takes young people a year to recoup...and he would need help...the rest of his years..with his meds, ect.....I admire any family member that would take him. will be hard on them..Bonnie

 

[ALCapshaw2]

My dad went to the heart doctor the other day and they told him that he would probably need open heart surgery;for his aortic and mitrol valve are both leaking severely, My dad is 86 years old and is so very fragile (weighs 133 pounds) . He has no energy now, and is out of breath just walking in the house.

The problem we (brothers and sisters) are having now, is that my dad says he will NOT have it done and more than likely will not even follow up on the appointments that we have for him. Please , could someone out there , please tell us what most likely will happen if my dad does not have this done? We really would just like opinions on this. We will show what you write to our dad. We just want him to get all the knowledge he can on this, but we are so afraid he is going to just ignore this and hope it will go away or get better. Thank you so much for reading this and we really welcome all replies. Sincerely ,Lynne T

Hello Lynne,

Lack of energy and shortness of breath on exertion are CLASSIC SYMPTOMS of Valve Disease and FAILURE.

There is NO Magic Pill that can help. The ONLY way to fix a failing valve is to REPAIR or REPLACE it, through Surgery.

NOT having surgery guarantees continued deterioration until the valve either fails to Open (if stenotic) or Close (Insufficiency / Leaking). When failure is complete, DEATH results.

As you know, modern medicine has made tremendous strides in Heart Surgery with exceptional survival rates when performed by experienced surgeons at top hospitals.

One of our members, Marty, had Mitral Valve Replacement at age 72 and is still working halftime (as an M.D. - Radiologist) and playing golf at age 80. I was hoping he would respond to your request for help. He is a friendly and supportive member so you may wish to write him (Private Mail or e-mail) by clicking on his Name in the Member List.

With your father's condition, it would be best to go to one of the Better Heart Hospitals such as Brigham and Women's in Boston (I forgot the other good hospital in Boston) or perhaps Mass. General. The Cleveland Clinic is the #1 rated Heart Hospital by U.S.News & World Report for several years running. There are also some good heart hospitals in NY but I don't remember their names or locations.

I hope your father will choose LIFE over almost certain Death by at least consulting with a top Heart Valve Surgeon for an assessment.

'AL Capshaw'

 

[Georgia]

Lynne, I'm sorry you have this to deal with.

I think that sometimes elderly folks just make a decision that they don't want to have to deal with something so overwhelming. And it's their decision to make.

But I hope you can convince him to continue going to the doc even if he decides against surgery - there are meds that can support the heart and delay congestive heart failure, and improve his quality of life.

My best wishes to you and your family..

 

[catwoman]

Lynne:

My sister told me about a co-worker's mom who had aortic valve replacement in the last year. Woman is in her late 80s, was not given very good odds for surviving surgery -- or surviving w/out surgery.
She sailed through the surgery, got a St. Jude tissue valve (I think). She shooed family out of her home about 2 weeks after she went home. Neighbors & family periodically checked on her.

She had her surgery done in Dallas; don't know if I was ever told the hospital involved.