Y
Yaps
RED SKELTON'S -TIPS FOR A LASTING MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage,
good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Calif. and mine is in
Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere.....but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere
I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread
maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So
I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in
the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell
off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the
garbage?" The driver said "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was
"Always"s.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt
her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!"
Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it....this is the good
old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word...just
clean and simple fun
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage,
good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Calif. and mine is in
Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere.....but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere
I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread
maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So
I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in
the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell
off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the
garbage?" The driver said "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was
"Always"s.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt
her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!"
Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it....this is the good
old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word...just
clean and simple fun
![Woneligo Smart Watch for Women,Fitness Watch(Answer/Make Call),Alexa Built-in, [24H Heart Rate Sleep Blood Oxygen Monitor],5ATM Waterproof,100 Sports Modes Step Calorie Watches for iOS&Android Phones](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/4102RKWBa0L._SL500_.jpg)
