Hi there
Agian;n855922 said:
.... I still don't fully understand why having a valve replaced has such a profound effect of people's lives. For some reason I find it a little unsettling. On the one hand we're told it's routine and yet people talk about facing their mortality, and the like.
I'll have a go at this.
To me its a confluence of a few streams of change in society which combine to produce what you're observing.
I'm 50, and when I was a kid people just didn't scream and howl and fall at their church congregation with requests for prayers. People were stoic. I don't know if that's because I'm an Australian and many writers here are American or if its to do also with generational change. I suspect that here in Australia we are becoming more like Americans as when I went to hospital for my re-valve in 2011 I was confronted by a howling emotional teenager who was appearing to act like someone going to the gallows. Yet when (as a kid) I was going in for surgery I never once saw anything like that. There were quite a few kids in my ward. Again when I was 28 and went to the same hospital I saw nothing more than calm.
There has been a clear transition in society in my life time from concern about others to a focus on "me". Even social media is about "me" - look what I had for lunch, look what I'm doing ... it reminds me of my friends little girl who always cries out "daddy, look at me". Clearly this is a deep feeling in many people and in my generation we were socialised
out of that behavior. Now we are socialised
into it.
As a result it seems to me that what people express is less guarded ... so perhaps thats good, perhaps that panics others unnecessarialy. I can't know, I can only ponder.
Next there is th fact that (in my view) most people never even think they will ever die. Aldus Huxley once wrote that :
have never prevented the majority of human beings from behaving as though death were no more than an unfounded rumor.
and so most people proceed on with their lives in the false apprehension that 1) they are in control 2) they have choices 3) they want more and better and more of it every day. That they see other humans in nursing homes and dying seems somehow in the psyche of many to be "what happens to others". Try having chats with kids who are less than 25 and listen to their quite self certain wisdom.
Finally hearing that you are not structurally quite right and it will effect your health is quite a shock (well I write that as if I've ever experienced that, so to be honest I should have written "must be quite a shock") and then submiting yourself to be rendered unconscious and told solemnly there was a small possibility of death must be the icing on the cake for many.
The idea your car could be involved in an accident and you killed seems somehow remote and impossible, yet death by surgery is real because the doctor said so. Curiously people seem quite divorced from the idea that you could die on the way home.
It wont' happen to me.
I suspect that being in the right location and it being said with the results of tests before you wrenches people out of "other-isation" and that is part of the shock.
Or I'm way off the mark
Best Wishes