Life seems to just pull people apart

[Guest]

"Life seems to just pull people apart"

That's what a friend and former co-worker wrote to me earlier this week. She was lamenting the fact that some people she had gotten to know and had been close with ... now seem to be "lost in time". Sadly, I know exactly what she means.

I can remember friends in college, high school, grade school and even from just a few years ago, that, at the time, I couldn't imagine life without them. But now, I can only be a bit curious as to what they're doing now ... or even, for that matter, if they are alive. We've grown apart, not because we wanted to, but because life pulled us in different directions ... whether it be because of interests, or moves ... or, in some cases, death.

Perhaps my "pensive" mind is working overtime these days, but I get the feeling that people in general (not everyone, of course) does not quite realize how precious life is ... or how much people need people. Maybe my mood is caused by the closing of my church, which, in a way, has me feeling like I've lost my grandparents (mom's parents) yet again since my grandfather once pastored there. Maybe my mood is caused by the death of a long-time member of that church just this past Friday; an event that reminded me yet again just how many times I've said "oh, I'll see them again sometime soon" ... and then never do. Maybe my mood is because I'm frustrated with the company that owns my favorite baseball team ... which seems more attentive to making the ballpark look better than putting a quality team on the field. Maybe my mood is because I'm frustrated with my favorite car company. Maybe my mood is caused by the idea that I'm "missing something" ... just because society, in general, is focused on and based around couples. Maybe my mood is caused by the frustrations of a job I hate ... that seeps my energy until I don't feel like doing a dangum thing when I get home in the evenings; yes, I'm searching for a new job.....

When I was younger, I was NOT a people person. I was an introvert to the max. I read, played with my matchbox/hot wheels cars, wrote, and watched TV. The interaction I had was all at school or at church functions. Of course, this "introvertedness" was partly because of my heart issues ... which kept me out of the "traditional" sports and "nightlife" scenes that most high school and college kids experience. If was also partly caused by the cruelness of kids.

But, over the last number of years, I've come out of that shell ... and become a people person ... to the max. No, I don't go to parties and clubs and bars, but I do take my road trips and meet up with as many people as I possibly can. I meet people because I find that we tend to have more in common than just a shared interest in a group or message board. These commonalities, of course, form the basis of friendships, networking opportunities, etc. Yes, it's true that many of these people I see once ... maybe twice ... a year, if that. But, we know we have that friend or family member thinking of us "somewhere out there". I also post about my road trips [I recently posted about trips to IN-OH-PA-MI and AR-TX-OK-KS/MO-IA-WI as well as gathering possiblities in IL-IN-WI-IA-MI] because it is cool to put a face and voice to the name on the screen. One person commented that posting about those trips would be a field day for someone who wanted to assasinate me ... since they now know exactly where I'll be Aug 11-14 and Oct 11-17. Perhaps that person is right, who knows.

He he ... and mixed in all of this is the "urge" to get back on the radio, drive my Chevrolet Monte Carlos, find a woman with whom to share life (among other things ), find a job that suits me perfectly (which, of course, would include some travel, at least regionally) ... and have even more of a blast than I am now.

That is, if that's even possible .



Cort, "Mr MC" / "Mr Road Trip", 32swm/pig valve/pacemaker
MC:family.IL.guide.future = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/
"It's time to take a leap of faith" ... Steven Curtis Chapman ... 'Dive'

 

[LUVMyBirman]

I think it's time to meet up in CL for brunch on a forthcoming Sunday! Lorraine would meet as well I am certain Zap us an email with your availbility. And...anyone else in Chicagoland too

 

[Dennis S]

Cort:

Cort:

I do know exactly what you are talking about. I don't see my parents or siblings nearly enough to suit me. I have one child in Minnesota and one in Puerto Rico, and we all miss each other so much it hurts. But sometimes life pushes us together. I was once at an airport far from home, waiting to rent a car, and discovered my driver's license had expired. I had left home in Minnesota, landed in Albuquerque, and I couldn't rent a car. I needed to get to the building site for the home we were building in New Mexico. I was really stuck. Out of desperation I called the only guy I knew in Jemez Springs. We had spent only a few minutes together on an earlier trip to Jemez Springs.

He cheerfuly agreed to drive 80 miles into Albuquerque, pick me up and return to Jemez Springs. He also loaned me a car to drive while I was in town, and drove me back to the airport for my departing flight. It added up to him driving a total of 320 miles, plus the loan of a car. All he would accept as payment was lunch at a rib joint in Albuquerque. Now our two families are great friends. So somtimes life pushes us together. Just not as often as we would like.

 

[7tonemonte]

Man Cort, its a little early to be hitting me with such heavy stuff. You sound down. Life is truly precious and, yes, some people realize this more than others. Ive lost some good friends over the past few years too, not just to death, but to "drifting" apart. Its amazing when you have a kid that some "friends" just seem to disappear! And that was not my doing, some cant handle the fact that you have added responsibility. They are not real friends though. Ive also lost my mother to cancer, which really crushed me. She apoligized to me before she "left" for not making it to my wedding. Said it wasnt fair to me. Not fair to her is more like it, and she didnt get to meet my daughter. My father-in-law passed last year due to cancer also, he was a HUGE part in my wifes life, and a man who you could look up to. One thing we have to get used to is the fact that when we get older, We are going to see more of this. And now with my heart bulls*** going on too, I have to be concerned for my daughter and wife. There are plenty of people around you who care, and you have all them Monte's to look after too. Enjoy your road trips coming up and Ill hopefully catch up with you on one in the near future. Hang in there Cort! Thanks again for the website recommendation, it has helped me a bunch!
Tony

 

[epstns]

Cort and Gina. . .

Cort and Gina. . .

If the CL in Gina's post means Crystal Lake, please include me on that email -- I may be able to sneak out one Sunday for brunch, too!

 

[Christine]

Ok, I just wrote something (while I was logged in) and it timed me out and lost it all when I went to post... so let's try again..only shorter..

Cort, i'm sorry to hear you're having a rough week.. sorry to hear about your church.. I understand how you're feeling, my own family church is on the cusp of closure.. it's hard to watch, while I go to another, still growing up there, my mother used to work there, I taught Sunday School there many moons ago, I still hate to see it going thru hard times..

Job, well, hopefully that will turn around soon.. in the mean time, and I've said this before - try to find something good about your current job.. even if it's that your glad you have one and have insurance - as many do not.

Relationship - I can relate on so many levels.. starting my life over after a long term relationship was difficult to say the least.. while he and I were not good for one another - at least I wasn't alone. Now I see that was the wrong attitude.. so yes, i'm alone - and have tried some online dating sites, but I felt like I was interviewing for a job date.. so now, I have the attitude of it will happen when it happens.. taking my own advise for a change.

Cort, life is what you make of it.. Attitude has alot to do with it.. negative breeds negative and Positive brings on positive actions.. i'm far from perfect, got sucked into a really negative environment lately, but luckily a friend showed me how it was affecting me and I walked away from it.. and while it's hard to do, i'm better since i'm not around the negative funk.. My favorite saying: Conceive, Believe, Acheive: what the mind conceives, the heart believes, the body can acheive. Decide what you want out of life, the type of person you want to share it with. you have to be happy with yourself first and the rest will follow.. I promise you that.. you will have a job you like, a woman who compliments your life, someone who brings the best out of you and you to them.. you can have it all.. you deserve it!

If you do one thing today, do this - SMILE!... when you smile, it change the tone in your voice to a positive one.. after awhile your brain will be tricked into thinking your happy.. next thing you know.. you are.. simplistic explaination, I know - and I could go on forever.. but we don't have that kind of time..

Keep the faith,

Chris

 

[Wise]

Cort, I so identify with what you've said/how you feel. It is quite apparent that you're relationship oriented and take those relationships very seriously...whether with people, organizations, whatever. My early life was so much like yours, but for different reasons. I, however, didn't become the sanguine that you have. I'm quite the phlegmatic analytical, but without sanguines we'd all be so blah blah blah. You, very much so, interject your personality into your writing, which is cool.

I pray that you'll find the job which is perfect for you. Hey, in the lady department, have you ever thought of Danica Patrick?....she shares at least one of your interests. Seriously, I pray for you to find Mrs. right as well....but still to feel comfortable in your singleness in the meantime.

Have a good lunch with our Chicago area friends.

Wise

 

[twinmaker]

Cort, I appreciate you putting into words how we all feel at times about different things. I'm sorry about some of the things that have happened lately but, I can tell that you are a positive person with great faith and a great sense of humor to go along with it. That's a great combination. I'm going to pray specifically for the things you mentioned in your last paragraph. In the meantime, keep enjoying those roadtrips and for heaven's sake, please don't be afraid to keep us posted about the places you'll be passing through. LINDA

 

[Mary]

Cort,
You are wise beyond your years!
I think that people meet according to the circumstances in their lives. When circumstances change, they often drift apart. . .of course, new circumstances can bring new friends.
You've got a bunch of friends right here, and some of us have never even met you!
You know what's important in life; hold on to your faith until you're back on the road-- meeting up with old and new friends alike.

 

[LUVMyBirman]

What an eloquent post Christine. It sounds like your friend helped you greatly in moving forward. Just love friends like that, don't you?. Removing negative forces definietly works. At times it's manadtory for mental wellness. It took me many many years to figure it out. But...finally I am there! And free! Be your own person. And above all STOP WORRYING! Especially fret about what others will think.

PS. Hi Steve! Hope you and yours are well. Yes, Crystal Lake. Hopefully Cort will get the email and dates together. He's the great planner you know! All kidding aside. Would love to see everyone again.

 

[tommy]

For the first time in my life, earlier this year, I reached for the phone, called my parents, and invited myself to see them for no other reason except to see them. Mom's 82 and Dad's 88. It was about time!

Air conditioners and garage door openers don't help neighbors get to know each other. It helps to have a tool that no one else has.

 

[Christine]

Thanks Gina, yes i'm very greatful to my friend for doing the proverbial smack upside the head.. sometimes we need a wake up call inorder to step outside of the box and see what's really going on. To see who I was becoming was/is not who I am.. while i'm a very positive person (almost cheerleader to the point of nausea, OK - dry sometimes sarcastic cheerleader, but personal cheerleader nonetheless) it's very easy to get sucked into negative thinking. It's much harder to see the brighter side of life, then to complain about it.

I've always been a giver.. more so since my AVR.. what works for me when I have my "down" moments is to give more of myself.. I do charity work year round which involves battered/abused and low income women.. seeing what they live with on a daily basis puts my life in perspective. I tell people how I feel as you never know if you'll get a second chance.. and I stopped being afraid of asking.. of anything.. I used to be a introvert.. now, my feeling is the worse someone can say (whether professionally or personally) is no. And there's nothing wrong with that word.. people just have different agendas sometimes.

well I need to stop now, as I see i'm getting on my soapbox... i'm big on the power of positive thinking and can talk for a long time on this subject.

Cort, keep the faith... I have a video tape of a preacher I like buried somewhere in the boxes I haven't unpacked yet.. I think you would like it and might help.. i'll see if I can find it by Oct for the Dallas trip.

Chris

 

[Guest]

Thanks all of you ... glad to read the responses and reactions to this. Wasn't sure if I should even post it, but I did share it with a number of my boards last night.....

PS. Hi Steve! Hope you and yours are well. Yes, Crystal Lake. Hopefully Cort will get the email and dates together. He's the great planner you know! All kidding aside. Would love to see everyone again.

*chuckles*

Yes, it sure would be nice to get everyone in the area together again. Been a whole year.

As for getting Emails and dates together ... it'll be a while, as I'm trying to get ready for the trip to the family reunion, etc., this weekend ... and I know next week will be busy, too. So, we'll see . Heh ... I'll have to see what I have open in the next few months ... he he he.

Hey, in the lady department, have you ever thought of Danica Patrick?....she shares at least one of your interests.

*grins*

Oh my have I thought about her . He he he.... Yeah, but so much outta my league.

You've got a bunch of friends right here, and some of us have never even met you!

He he ... yep, I know. And, this is the way it is on most (if not all) of my groups and message boards.... But, it saddens me ... because, in most cases, I cannot meet some of 'em .


*pauses*

And, for the record, I'm not depressed or down. I'm just ... well, melancholy, I guess. I know that there are a number of people that I'm going to miss during my trips this year (especially the one this weekend) ... either because schedules won't match up ... or because they don't know I'm coming (i.e. they haven't read the threads...*gasp*) ... or because time and distance won't allow it. This frustrates me to no end, because invariably, when I get back from my road trips ... and post about 'em ... I'll have a few people from each board that says, "you shoulda told me about it ... you were in my backyard practically!" Sorry, I can't PM everybody ... I can only do so much to get the word out .

*shrugs*

As I was explaining to someone else earlier today, I am much better than I was back in my "evil twin" days of a few years ago. Yet, I have my "melancholy" moments that seem to make people think I might be going back there.... Hmmm...not if I can help it .