Leading up to surgery.

[Ovie]

I was just curious how many of you got prepared for your surgery? We're you healthy enough to continue with your jobs? How did you know what to do and get taken care of prior?

I only ask because the last 3 days I just feel lost, I feel like I have a date and that's it, but I feel like there is so much I should be doing to prepare. I can't work and am out of school right now, so I have TIME, that's it, no activities except games and television, and as my date gets closer I've just felt extremely depressed, lazy, careless, and all around worthless. I've quit smoking and I think that's maybe messing with my mood, but I feel like my eyes are actually open to alot of things now, and I'm not liking it. I remember growing up and it's just like whenever you'd hear about OHS you'd think to yourself that's some serious *beep*. I'm trying to get physically and mentally prepared but I just am having a difficult time wrapping my head around it.

I know I'm not the only person who felt this way and most defiantly not the worst. But it had me wondering how all of you did it? I know there is the "feeling better" part, but I don't feel all that bad now. Did most of you just work your jobs until surgery? What did you do? Im trying to get my parents as well informed on the surgery, and everything before and after and there just seems to be little interest to them other than how I'm going to pay them back.

I hate to sound like a depressed dolly, but last couple days haven't been too great and don't seem to be getting better. Any words of wisdom or anything would be great right about now.

Thanks.

 

[D.C.]

I guess I knew it was coming, but you are never prepared for the doctor saying it. When the cardiologist leaned over me in the cat lab and said he had to recommend surgery it was like he was talking to someone else.
I think the next day I kind of freaked out. It was fast for me from then to surgery. I wanted it fast. So it was set up for 10 days ahead. Getting everything ready just in case was real upsetting, but after that a couple of days I just looked forward. Was kind of calm and knew I would fight to be OK!!
I wanted to get if done and FEEL BETTER again!!

I hope you can get to that point soon. The people that do this kind of work are GOOD. They will take the best care of you that they can. I hope you can calm yourself and concentrate on the good parts and the future. Good Luck and God bless.

 

[Lynlw]

Sorry to hear your having a tough time and that your parents dont seem very interested. Justin usually went to school and worked when he was old enough right up to his surgery, except 1 when he went to school right until the date but got sick so it ws postponed and it ended up being months later and he was home..and bored all that time.
As for what you can do to prepare, will you be at your parents recoverying? do you live there now? Or will you be by yourself? there are things you can do now to make recovery a little easier, depending how much help you'll have
You can check out the sticky threads what to take to the hospital in the preop forum and how to prepare the home in the post op forum http://www.valvereplacement.org/for...How-to-prepare-a-house-for-homecoming-patient and see if there is anything you can be doing now to get have things ready when you come home

one of the little things we always did before surgeries was went to craft stores to look for a new hobbie Justin could learn when he couldn't do much. one year it was macreme so pretty much friends and family all ended up with key rings and bracelets and it took up lots of time but didnt cost much. Even tho we rarely do jigsaw puzzles, when he has surgery or another reason to be home for a while, like his BE we set one up on a card table and work on it time to time to help pass time

If it isnt too cold you could start walking so your in as good shape as possible going into surgery and it might make it easier to do all your walking needed after surgery. also its kind of hard getting up from bed and chairs without using your arms, so if you practice that now, it will be a little easier after surgery type of things

 

[bradvo]

Ovie, you just quit a powerful substance that has had a hold on you "Nicotine" Your going to feel some effects from this my man. Kudo's to you !!
That is not an easy task what so ever.. how long ya been off ?? I have read many of your posts and have heard others telling ya to quit for good reason.
If you quit cold Turkey and make it that says a lot about you. I know so many people who can't , including my wife.
I still recall when I quit, moody as heck, sleep messed up, eating so I could have something in my hands..etc etc etc. Mood swings were without a doubt present when I quit.
I think ya nailed one reason for the feelings your going thru, I know when I smoked and felt stress, I had a smoke again and again. If it gets to bad see your doctor about it. Don't be so proud to not ask for help.
I got pretty depressed last fall and asked for help... got me some prozac and it worked out. Think I took it for 4 months or so . It helped me quite a bit at the time I needed it.
When I get down a little now I walk, it helps in my case.

Brad


PS
Ovie, I read your post again....share your thoughts with your parents , how your feeling , the stress of OHS and if need be tell them ya don't need to have them piling" money pay back worries" on you right now. Let them know you need support, sometimes parents need a kick in the rump .

 

[escargome]

Ovie, I agree with the fact that this is some serious *beep*. However, before my surgery I drove my family nuts with all the information that I gathered from my doctor, the internet and anywhere I could find info. My husband knew a little of what I was facing since he had a triple CABG about 3 years earlier. My son and daughter told me after the surgery that they were both scared to death for me but kept that fear to themselves (God Bless Their Hearts). Prior to my surgery I know I had a murmur but the doctors had told me I was still waiting for the right time. Well kaboom the right time came right after I finished an 8 week bout of anit-biotics (PICC line) for baterial meningites. During hospital stay in Jan 2008 they were afraid bacteria had attacked the valve, so cardio explained that they would wait until anti-biotic treatment was done, then schedule valve replacement. So that is what I did. I can't say this would work for you but you need to talk this out with family and friends. Yea after a while likely they will ask you to shut up but I think it helps to talk it out so you can wrap you brain around the whole thing. Good Luck to you and try to find someone to keep us posted post-surgery.

 

[Superman]

Can understand your frustration. I replied to another post of yours I guess not realizing the date was set.

Every situation is different. I had either work or school or both going on pretty much up until the day of both my surguries. My last one, my wife restricted my activity around the house due to an aortic aneurysm I was scheduled to have repaired. I was still able to work during the day, but being taken off lawn duty and asked to take it easy on horsing around with the kids wasn't easy.

Sitting around with nothing to do but think for a couple of months would be awful. I guess my only recommendation would be to find something to do. Join the local YMCA, spend some time there swimming or walking or whatever your doctors are allowing at this point. Spend time with friends as much as possible.

I'd also work on encouraging both your parents to get checked out thoroughly by a cardiologist. This is a genetic condition. There is a chance one of them has some presentation of the same condition and doesn't know it. It could be so mild as to have no impact or it could be that they might be heading toward intervention with no idea. Robin Williams was in his 50's when he found out. So was the Governator (Arnold). John Ritter didn't have intervention in time and died far too young (and I think he was being followed by a cardiologist).

As far as the financial concerns, I can't really relate. Costs weren't as high when I had my first surgery - so my parents owed nothing out of pocket. My latest, my wife and I covered our co-insurance obligation. I think we paid about $2,500 out of pocket on a $70,000 bill (roughly).

I would check with your hospital on cost. I learned with our local hospital, any patient obligation over $500 - they'd take 10% off just for asking with no proof of financial need required as long as you paid in full in one payment. There were also zero interest payment plans available. Bottom line is to get with them up front and arrange payment rather than waiting. Medical collections can ruin your credit and hospital billing practices are rather confusing. You can end up dealing with a collection agency and never realize you owed anything.

As far as recovery. If it's covered by insurance and you have time, take advantage of any rehab program just to get you out of the house. If not, I found during my first surgery local malls were a great place to walk. I'd get rides out there and walk with the seniors before the mall opened. Got me out of the house and working on rehab. I was a senior in high school as well so I had my homework brought to me and got rides to the public library to work on that so I wouldn't fall behind.

My latest, I had my family to keep me entertained and busy with four kids at home - and I'd walk in my neighborhood. Found it more pleasant than getting rides to a rehab program. Plus, the internet existed for the latest one. First time around, Al Gore was just getting it started.

 

[dcc617]

Ovie - you got your date? When is it?

 

[Boston Tiger]

I went to work up to the day before my surgery, but have to admit that many of the days from the time I was told until then were a bit of a blur. I had a lot of things I wanted to wrap up before I took off, but the thought of the surgery dominated my mind. Like you say, this is a tough thing to wrap your mind around. Distractions can be good, and for you that might just be your fight to kick the smoking habit for good. Anything you can do that will help build up your endurance and wipe away the harm from smoking will pay big dividends for you in recovery.

The reaction you are getting from you parents could easily be because they are scared spitless about your need for your procedure, since they recognize that this is indeed some serious *beep*. I know that my wife had to prepare herself mentally when I went in, and my elderly mother may have been frantic if she hadn't had her own medical issues to deal with at the same time. The diagnosis that surgery is needed is a shock for all involved.

 

[Mom2izzy]

I still work every day and have a 3 year old, so I'm not sure I can give th best advice here, but if you do have activity restrictions, I would suggest trying something that requires your brain to focus on something other than "The big event". I read or watch suspenseful books/movies that suck me right in and keep my mind engaged. I am also an avid knitter which helped a lot with what to do with my hands once I put down my smokes (4 years ago now). Hang in there...it will be here before you know it...

 

[Nancy jane]

Is that my Sioux city friend talking like that. Hey. As my mom used to say. Wake up & smell the coffee ! I go in2-9 & expect a few down days but ahead of time I'm just excited to get it over with. Put that smile on your face & walk proud. As I tell my kids. Don't feel like smiling ? stand on your head so it looks like u r smiling. Sioux city folks are strong &. Hardy. Or as we say at telephone doctor " a phony smile is better than a real frown ". Com on I'll take u to green gables ! Iyoull be fine. .

 

[TenPly]

While you wait for the date, spend time learning (about your specific surgery), talking to your parents about it (help them understand what you're going through), doing stuff that you love (you mentioned extreme sports before – maybe not that – just something that gets your mind off heart stuff for a bit) make plans (for after your surgery, after your recovery, etc.) Making plans will help motivate you for the journey ahead.

Also, stick with your goal to quit smoking. This I know you can do; you've already made the choice and followed through. So stick with it. Do it for your heart.

 

[Ovie]

DCC, it's February 23.

Alot of useful information from everyone. Lyn, great idea about finding little hobbies to do, I love to draw so maybe I'll try and pick that up again, it's been awhile.

Tenply - I spend at least 2 hours trying to gather all the information I can. I think it's around that time of day is when things go a little south, mentally. Still trying to work with the parents, like someone above said ( I apologize I do all my Internet related things on my phone, can't always see who wrote what ) that they're probably just as worried.

Insurance wise, I have good insurance, the real issue is what to do after, but I'll find out soon enough a solution before surgery.

Nancy! I'm going to take you up on that offer if you ever return to the Sioux.

I've read everyones comments and took every bit of all of them to heart, and will you the knowledge that you have all shared, or your own experiences. Thank you.

I'm not religious at all, in fact I'm very bitter towards it due to personal things ( and beliefs ) that have happened to me and those around me. I don't criticize or judge those that are either. However I do believe in some kind of power, higher, and if this is what needs to be done to achieve or help the things I was meant to do on this Earth than I should have a little faith and just go with it. The outcome is what it is.

Also- day 4 of no smoking is complete, working on day 5, been more motivated than ever before on quitting due to surgery, I'd like to make it as easy as possible which really helps the thought train, but still not fun.

Thanks for all the wisdom

 

[Chris M]

Quitting smoking does certainly mess with your head. Add in health issues and that is a potent mixture for developing anxiety and/or depression!! Been there, done that myself, though the health issues at the time were more to do with not knowing what was wrong with me. If you need any more help with staying quit do a search for a guy named Joel Spitzer - he's a smoking cessation expert and has a website with a ton of good information and motivational articles/videos on it, all free of charge. His knowledge and advice really helped me in the early weeks of my quit.

As for your dilemma about what to do with yourself while you wait I can only suggest you try to stay busy and make plans for your new life afterwards... because the bottom line is that you are relatively young and will certainly come through this with flying colours! It's perfectly natural to be scared, anxious and depressed about this situation but the great thing is that your condition is fixable and you will get better! Six months from now I can almost guarantee you will be feeling really great, not just physically but mentally too! It probably all does seem very hard now but it will most definitely be worth it!

Me, I don't work so I had plenty of time to think about things. I began taking regular (but slow) walks in the months leading up to surgery, both for the physical benefit and for the mental calm that being out in the natural environment gave me. It just so happened that I had a few days vacation booked the week before my surgery so being somewhere else and doing different activities also helped to take my mind off what was to come. By that time, however, I had gained an acceptance of my situation and although I was a little apprehensive I was probably happier and more relaxed than I had been during the previous 10 months of waiting for surgery. I just enjoyed those last few days with my husband. In the end my surgery was something I managed to endure. Medically speaking the procedure was successful and the hospital stay & recovery period rather uneventful. I'm almost 8 months post-op now and feel back to normal... no, better than normal. As will you!

 

[Ovie]

Thanks Chris, I found that post to be very insuring. I needed that, as with everyone else's.

Joel Spitzer? Can I find his site through google? This has me intrigued. I quit smoking due to surgery, and well..just needed to, my good friend also made the commitment to stop smoking, he has no motivation on quitting really other than he felt bad smoking around me, so we figured we'd do it together. I believe he's struggling more than me because he has no present consequences for starting up again. I'd love to get some info to help not just with me, but him, I'd like to see him live a healthy life also and he's only 23.

I'll try google, if not you got a site?

Thanks.

 

[Chris M]

Sure, I can help.

Firstly, I can only speak for myself but I have to commend Joel Spitzer's material because it gave me the knowledge and understanding of the quitting process that helped me stay on track. I found it invaluable. If you understand what nicotine (and 1000s of other chemicals) has done to your body over time, the nature of the addiction, the possible side effects of withdrawal and some of the mind games you are likely to play with yourself then you can be prepared for difficult situations when you may be tempted to lapse. I had tried to quit a couple of times before but was unprepared and failed when the going got tough. This time I had the education to see it through - for me that worked so good luck to both you and your friend!

Right... the main site is whyquit.com. I suggest you check out the links in the centre column - "Joel's Library". The videos are good but there are lots of articles to read as well - information, tips, motivational stuff.
The stuff in the left hand column is rather more unpleasant - scare stories about people who got sick or deformed or died from smoking. If you need a kick in the backside to keep you on track then look at some of these but some of it is gruelling to read. You have been warned. :eek2:

Hope this helps!

 

[Ovie]

Thanks Chris! I can handle gruelling, alot of people don't understand how, but I can watch and read just about anything despite the content. I will defiantly check out the site!!

Cheers!

 

[ski girl]

Hi Ovie-

Well I've had two OHS within a year of each other, one I had months to prepare for and one I had about a day . . . and I'm not sure which was harder on me emotionally! You'd think the emergency one, but I'm not sure. I worked up until the week before, then I had a quick holiday in one of my favourite places, then did everything I thought I'd struggle with post-op - all the laundry, taught myself how to get out of bed without using my arms, painted my toenails, washed the car . . . and then I'd just drive someplace where I felt calm (I'm lucky, I live 10 minutes from the coast!).

I was pretty wound up by the day before the surgery! And I wasn't trying to quit smoking I'd say make as much use of your friends as possible, make them take you places, make them play endless games of Uno with you . . . and best of luck from down under!!

 

[Ovie]

Thanks ski girl. Unfourtantly I live in Iowa so nothing to special here to go and see, and my friends live to drink and go to the bars, as did I, but since the new year I've been avoiding all that, other than the occasional 6 pack here and there, so it's just me, myself, and I. I'll be alright though.

 

[ski girl]

Iowa! So you can go and see corn grow! Well, we don't get any of that on the beach . . . lol that was worth a shot eh? There is nothing wrong with going to the pub, nominate yourself as the designated driver and have a good laugh at your mates. There's also absolutely nothing wrong with having a couple of beers, you don't have to stop having fun - and anyway, getting plastered isn't a good idea even if you aren't about to have OHS.

Geez did that make me sound old?

 

[sarahsunshine]

Ovie,

You sound a bit down, which isn’t surprising considering that you have a huge operation coming up, AND you’ve just quit smoking. Right now, I’m sure that the smoking is not helping at all. My husband is a smoker and is really good at quitting… he does it several times a month!

Anyway, from research, I can tell you that day 3 is supposed to be the toughest. From experience, I can tell you that my husband is at his lowest 5-7 days after quitting cold turkey (the only way he does it). After that, it’s out of your system. All the research I’ve seen say that just 2 weeks post-quitting you start to feel significantly better. So keep that on the radar!

As for your home life, it seems that you need to sit down with your parents. They are probably worried as heck about you, and worried about their own finances as well. If you show you are being responsible (quitting smoking, researching and becoming knowledgable about your surgery, come up with a plan on how to pay them back (can you work part time doing something not too strenuous just to keep yourself busy and earn a little cash?), give them a periodic update on what to expect) then it may help both them and the seeming pressure you are getting from them.

It also seems that you need to get yourself a support group that isn’t family. Going to the bar with friends is fine, and you seem to have some good support from your good buddy who quit smoking with you. However, you should try to find some other friends who will be able to help you post surgery. Do you have any siblings? Do you have any hockey buddies who aren’t as into the drinking and partying who would be into going for some walks/taking you for a change of scenery (movie)? Go take some drawing classes (my husband paints so that helps him too). Go to the library and find a good book or TV series. Does the hospital have a network for cardiac patients so you could perhaps meet another young person who had to have surgery? There is usually a social worker connected to the hospital. Go visit and talk to him/her. Ask some questions and get a bit of a look-see at the hospital so you know what to expect. There may be lots of corn and cold out there, but there are also lots of great people (and turtles that I used to work on)!