Hi Diana-
Welcome to this terrific site. I am also a significant other. My husband has had 5 thoracic surgeries, 3 heart valve, and 2 lung, plus a pacemaker.
One of the most important things you can do for Kenny is to be there in the hospital with him as much as possible. It's a great comfort and there are so many things the nursing staff doesn't have time for. But you can be Kenny's best cheerleader through this stressful time. I must admit, Kenny seems to have done lots of homework to prepare himself for his surgery. It did come up rather fast, but that's OK, it means less time to think about it.
You should prepare yourself for seeing him for the first time after surgery. He'll look pretty bad, and will have all kinds of tubes and gizmos attached to him. He may even look gray and swollen.There will be machines everywhere making all kinds of noises. He'll be pretty doped up and may even hallucinate from the pain meds. He'll be on a ventilator for a short time, and might even have his hands tied down. After they remove the vent, he'll be extremely thirsty, but the nurses won't give him any water at first, only possibly some ice chips. Then he'll be allowed to have only little sips of water until they are sure he can tolerate it.
He'll be in the Intensive Care Unit about 24 hours, and then will be transferred to a step-down unit for a couple of days, then to a regular room. He'll be sitting up in a chair probably by day 2, and may even be walking soon after that, surprisingly fast.
He's going to be very sore, and I hope the hospital will give their heart surgery patients a heart pillow to hold to their chest to give it a little support when getting up and getting down, and when coughing.
He'll be in the hospital about 5 days give or take, and then home.
When he's home, he'll need you there with him 24/7 for at least the first week, and maybe the second. He'll be weak and may need help with showering and maybe even the bathroom. He'll be very tired but may only sleep a few hours at a time, and may not be comfortable in bed. My husband spent the first month sitting up on the sofa, sleeping. Many people swear by a recliner chair. He'll need some kind of little plastic chair for the shower. A cane comes in handy because he'll be unsteady for a time.
He probably won't feel like eating for a while, and food will taste terrible. Lots of people find that ice-pops are good and fruit juice. The appetite comes back eventually, but it does take a while.
Some patients get depressed for a time after this surgery. It's very common. If it doesn't lift, he should talk with the doctor about it. He might also be uncharacteristically cranky. He may have weird dreams and even some hallucinations from some of the pain medication when he's first home. Once these meds aren't needed anymore, these things abate. But there still might be some anesthesia flashbacks from time to time. That stuff takes a little while to get gone.
He will not be allowed to drive for quite a while and will not be allowed to lift anything with any weight for quite a while, both of these things will be determined by the surgeon.
You may find that Kenny's back and shoulders are very sore. This is due to the positioning of the body during surgery. Gentle massages can help these areas.
He'll be feeling pretty well at 6-8 weeks, but will still be very tired and weak. At 6 months to a year, he'll be almost back to his old self, and even better.
For yourself. On the day of surgery, bring something to occupy your mind. It's a long wait, and you might not be feeling very chatty. Bring some change for vending machines or the phone. Bring something for headaches, bring some Immodium for possible problems in that area, bring some mints or breath fresheners because your mouth will be dry. If you can, have a telephone tree or someone who will make calls for you, so you don't have to make a gazillion phone calls to many people. It can be so time-consuming, and you will plain not feel like doing it. You're going to be emotionally overwhelmed yourself.
When Kenny comes home, nap when he naps if you can, and try not to have many people come visiting for at least the first couple of weeks. Neither of you will be up to much company.
So that's about it, as far as I can remember. Others may be adding lots of other things.
This is a wonderful place to come for support. I hope you will stop in often. If you have some time, try reading some of the posts, especially in the Pre-Surgery and Post Surgery forums.
Best wishes.
