Jokes....

[bvdr]

A couple of funny ones........



From the Doctors:



A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one. Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX



At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsefully replied the patient. Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

 

[Karlynn]

Betty, very funny!

Here's another to continue the chuckles:

A guy dies and goes to Heaven. St. Peter meets him at the gate and says "Welcome to Heaven. Let me show you around and tell you a few of our rules."

The first place they visit is Heaven's cafeteria. St. Peter says "This is the place everyone eats. The food is good, the menu is large, but the line can sometimes move slowly. The one rule we have here is that you can never, ever cut in line ahead of someone else." Just as soon as he says that, this man walks in with a set of scrubs on, a stethescope and a mask. He walks straight up to the front of the line, grabs a tray and begins serving himself.

The guy turns to St. Peter with a bit of confusion and says "I thought you said that the rule was no cutting in line?"
St. Peter replies "Yes, indeed, that's the rule." He points to the surgeon that just cut inline and says "But that's God...sometimes he likes to play doctor."

(insert groan here)

Karlynn

 

[fyrfytr]

Betty and Karlynn,
Thanks for the laughs!
Take Care

Dave
__________________________
Aortic Aneurysm Repair
AVR, with a St. Jude Mechanical

 

[Gisele]

LOL

LOL

Those were good..................thanks!

 

[dwfreck]

A joke about couples and sharing:

A gentleman notices an elderly couple at McDonalds. They order one "hamburger meal": a hamburger, fries, a drink. They sit down at a booth. The husband carefully cuts the hamburger in half and places half the fries on the hamburger wapper and places the other halves on the tray for his wife. He begins to eat, taking small sips from the drink, while his wife watches. The gentleman sees the wife not eating, and walks over to offer to buy her something; she politely declines his offer. The husband continues to eat, and the wife continues to watch. The gentleman, now growing slightly angry at the husband's conduct, again approaches, and offers to buy the wife whatever she would like. The wife replies, "It's OK, I'm waiting to use the teeth."