Its Finally Starting To Sink In

[Paul_R]

I have been waiting for the time when the realization of fact that I was really going to have open heart surgery would sink in. Since late January I have had an echo, TEE and a Cath but still it all didn't seem real to me. I guess deep down I was hoping that somehow I would be able weazle (sp?) my way out of this.

Reality hit me today in the most unexpected way. While trading emails with the nurse at the cardiologist office today in order to arrange the insurance authorization for the surgery she added this little tidbid. "Once you see Dr. Laks, he will ask that you consider donating your own blood for 2-3 weeks prior to surgery".

Wow! It all suddenly became very real for me at that point. It is amazing to me how we can kid ourselves sometime.

Just needed to get that off my chest.

 

[RayinSF]

Hey Paul,

I know the feeling! I have been living w/ this for over 10 yrs, and it always seemed like surgery was years and years away. Cant believe its less than a month from now. Now that it is scheduled and I've had the cath, bloodwork etc... its finally starting to sink in. I do feel a certain amount of relief and have actually become somewhat excited to get it done. It will be such a relief to be home and on the mend. I hope you feel the same way. If you have any comments, questions, concerns, just post it because more than likely someone here will have an answer! In the meantime live life to the fullest!
~Ray

 

[bvdr]

You often hear it said here that the hardest part is the wait. I really believe that is true. I mean, none of it is easy but the wait is so mentally taxing.

Paul, I remember when I called the surgeon's office to select a surgery date. The secretary was so matter-of-fact about it just like it was a hair appointment or something. She told me that since I was on coumadin, I would go in a day early for heparin and they would mail me the rest of the instructions. I hung up the phone with a trembling hand and then cried for a couple of minutes. It had become real.

 

[Paul_R]

Ray

Yeah I know what you mean, I too am excited to get this over with. Since January I have been reading everything about OHS that I can get my hands on. In a way, its been a little like preparing for a final exam in college except the stakes are much higher.

The moment of truth hit me a little sooner than I expected. I glad it did finally hit, otherwise I guess I would have considered myself sub human otherwise. I mean, who in their right mind wouldn't be scared about under going OHS.

I just want to put this obstacle behind me and move on with the rest of my life. This forum has been a great source of info and help.

 

[Debrinha GT]

Coming to terms with it!

Coming to terms with it!

Hello everybody, after being away for a couple of weeks, here I am again, ready to share my experience with you. To those of you who don't know who I am, well, I'm a 39 year old Brazilian who has already been through 3 MVRs(replacements) due to rheumatic fever in childhood. Anyway, last January I was told that my valve has begun to thicken up and it just felt as if my whole world was turning up side down and that was when I decided to start researching the internet. It was only then, after joining this site, that I began to come to terms with my situation and even so, I still have my ups and downs. Although I don't know yet how soon I'll actually need the operation, it's always there, whenever I talk about plans for the future, my daughter growing up, next summer holidays here in Brazil, and so on... What's in store for me, if you get what I mean?!... So far nothing much has changed and I don't feel sick at all except when I have to walk up a slope which has always been my weak point anyway. I'll have to go and see my cardio by the end of July so I should know if things have gotten any worse. If any of you has any comments to make on what I've just told you, feel free! Opinions and suggestions are always welcome! And by the way, I hope you too manage to overcome your fears! Good luck!!

 

[McCln]

I agree with everyone here that the waiting is the hard part. You just have to also remember how you are feeling now and after surgery, do a comparision. I did and felt a lot better after surgery. Just don't think about all the tech stuff, you have enough to worry about. Just that you want to feel better and will when it it over. You will be fine, just hang in there. The date will be here soon enough and you will feel better soon. Take care.

Caroline
09-13-01
Aortic valve replacement
St. Jude's valve

 

[KathyH]

Ray,My OHS didn't seem real either. I remember thinking up until I had my cardiac cath the day before surgery, that maybe my surgery will be cancelled because the cath will show that I don't need it yet. I guess it is just a way to cope with things. Denial is just one of the stages you have to pass though before you finally accept it. Good Luck, keep us posted.
Kathy H

 

[Guest]

Paul,

I know I'm coming into this thread a tad bit late...please forgive me...however, that realization is one of the most awesome and frightening feelings in the world.

I was "too young" my first 2 surgeries to really experience and understand that type of realization. However, my 3rd open heart surgery (January 2003), I was quite old enough...and it did hit me.

Oddly, it didn't hit me until the morning of the surgery, but hit me it did...right as I was driving in with my best friend with me and my parents and sis and her bf (now fiance) in another car. I think I was too dazed/tired to mention anything about it...because I was too stunned at the thought that I was really headed in for more open heart surgery. Until that moment, the surgery seemed like a large hot air balloon looming over my presence with an erie silence. But then, all of a sudden, in a split second, the surgery turned into a beautiful hot air balloon brilliant with colors...and a peace that made the drive in and the events leading up to the initial shot of medication bearable and calm.

Cort, "Mr Road Trip"/"The Uniter", 30swm w/pig valve & pacemaker
member & newsletter editor, Faith COB, Batavia IL
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