In memory......

[hensylee]

Some of us have lost a loved one this year.

As some of you know, my sister was murdered in September by a man she rented a house to, then evicted him, he unmercifully and violently murdered and robbed her in anger. He is still with us, a few miles away, in jail - but he is alive and she is not. We still have much to get through what with trial and all. My cousin sent a card to me yesterday and I want to share it with you, especially those who have lost someone they loved, and will have a tough time this season:

I love you dearly
Now don't shed a tear
I'm spending my Christmas
with Jesus this year.

I think this would be a good time for us to remember our VR members who are still grieving for a loved one, whether it was this year or not. Here's my wish for you.

May you have an easy season, remember your loved one with joy and gladness, cry if you want to, and next year will be a better year. God is on our side. We have to believe that, don't we?

 

[catwoman]

Ann:

I have often thought of you since your sister was killed. I know this holiday season is difficult for your family.

In January, I lost a dear friend I met in 1990 at a cat show. She was 17 years older, but our mutual interests (showing cats, camping, youth work, reading, cooking) bridged the age span.
This year has not been the same for me or several of her other friends. This past weekend I was in California with a mutual friend, and we reminisced about spending the same weekend 2 years ago with Catherine in Orange County CA, going shopping, seeing a live production of The Lion King, eating at the Cheesecake Factory, having a Sunday brunch, etc., etc. -- things we'd always wanted to do but never found time up to that point. Carolyn & I are thankful that we did get to spend the weekend with Catherine instead of showing cats.

We always think there's another "tomorrow" to spend with a loved one. But sometime that tomorrow never arrives. Make time for that tomorrow today...

 

[geebee]

Dear Ann,
I did not know about your sister. I am so sorry but I am glad you thought to start this thread to remember. This is the second Christmas I will spend without my mother and the pain is still fresh. Everything I see, touch, smell and hear reminds me of her and the wonderful Christmases she created for our family. I saw the Polar Express the other day and realized that my mother gave me the most wonderful gift of all. She gave me the gift of always believing in the magic of not only the holiday season but the world in general. My mother was a "little girl" up to the time she entered the nursing home (she had Alzheimer's) and she always smelled the roses and watched the sunrise.
My SO and I took her to Hawaii for her 70th birthday in 1995. We had the most magical time imaginable. She got very sick shortly thereafter and I thank God every day that we had spent the money and time and love to be with her in Hawaii. It created memories that cannot be surpassed.
Thank you for creating one more moment to think about her.
Smiles,
Gina

 

[ShezaGirlie]

For Ann...

For Ann...

For Ann and everyone during this Holiday Season. I came upon this poem a few years ago and always remember it at Christmastime along with the friends amongst us all who will be spending Christmas without their loved one...

Christmas in Heaven

I see the countless Christmas Trees,
Around the world below,
With tiny lights, like heaven's stars,
Reflecting in the snow.

The sight is so spectacular,
Please wipe away that tear,
For I am spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year.

I hear many Christmas songs,
That people hold so dear,
But the sounds of music can't compare,
With the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you,
The joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description,
To hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me,
I see the pain inside your heart,
But I am not so far away,
We really aren't apart.

I can't tell you of the splendor
or the peace here in this place.
Can you just imagine Christmas
with our Savior face to face?

I'll ask Him to lift your spirit
as I tell Him of your love.
So then pray for one another
as you lift your eyes above.

Please let your hearts be joyful
and let your spirit sing,
for I am spending Christmas in heaven
and I'm walking with the King

 

[Harrybaby666]

Thank You Ann and Janie...

Thank You Ann and Janie...

Thank You for posting these nice words....I was just thinking of how I was getting through this Christmas season without Rodney being here and I keep telling myself that he is really having a christmas celebration where he is at, and free of pain....I won't say that this Christmas season is easy, but it sure is a whole lot better with the support of all you great people on VR.com. Thanks again for posting, and I hope that your pain of loss eases with speed and grace. Merry Christmas. Harrybaby

 

[MichyB]

Oh my goodness I did not know this. I'm so sorry for you and your family. Thoughts are with you during this holiday time. Sounds like you are handling it as well as possible.

 

[Glenda]

Hugs and prayers go to everyone that has lost a loved one this last year. Janie, the poem was beautiful. I'm going to send it on to my sister-in-law who lost her daughter this summer. I've lost several cancer friends this year. This will also be a wonderful poem to pass on to their families.

 

[Karlynn]

Thank you Ann for starting the thread. And thank you Janie for the poem. Ann, I'm sure your feeling of loss during this first holiday season feels pretty raw. Don't force this time to be anything but what it naturally is for you right now. It's hard to believe that it's been 6 years since I lost my Mom and almost 4 since I lost my Dad. I still miss them each and every day. I still find myself thinking "I'll have to be sure and mention that to Mom when..." and then I realize that for right now, there is no "when". The feeling of loss we experience when someone we love is no longer with us never goes away. It just becomes liveable.

But my true belief is that the God I love, and that loves me, does not give us people to love so dearly, only to have to be separated from them when we die. If there truly are no tears in heaven, then our loved ones are not separated from us, for wouldn't that mean grief for them too? We just don't have the benefit of seeing them as they do us. But I will also say that there are days where I "feel" their presence very strongly. What a comforting feeling.

So I would wish for those in my VR family, that have experienced loss this year and any other year, to feel the comforting presence of those they love, but now grieve for.

 

[Marge]

Ann, I didn't know about your sister. There's nothing I can think of to say, except I am so sorry. Bad enough losing a sister but the circumstances are so horrible. I know you have tremendous inner strength, but it is more difficult than I can begin to imagine.

Gina, like you I am contemplating the second Christmas without my mom, who died in the summer of 2003. It's hard. It sounds strange to write this, but, in a way, I feel that my mom is still watching over me. I went to my doctor in September 2003 because I was having trouble sleeping and otherwise dealing with her death, and that was when he found the "murmur" and everything else came out of that. Except for my problems relating to coping with her death, I may never have been diagnosed until much later.

 

[Mary]

Ann,
I'm glad you posted. You have had a terribly traumatic loss this year, and I am deeply sorry.
Only six weeks have passed since I lost my mother, and I find myself looking for Christmas presents for her in all the store windows. It's hard to let that habit go. We are all at a loss for making our Christmas plans, but I suppose we will muddle through-- just like you will.
I know mom is in a better place and happy. I just need to adjust my mind set.
Mary

 

[Marguerite53]

Thanks, all.

Thanks, all.

Ann.

I'm so sorry, again, for your loss. I appreciate your sharing your thoughts with us. And thanks to others who have chimed in. The words and memories are all lovely.

My warmest thoughts to all of you who are experiencing a saddened holiday.

Marguerite

 

[John & Joann]

Words can not adequately speak for your loss, but what wonderful comments have been made to honor your sister.

God Bless All!

 

[EVELYN]

Hi All

Thanks so much for starting this thread, Ann. And Janie, the poem was perfect. I guess it doesn't matter whether it's a human being or an animal, one still feels the sense of loss the same; so I thought I'd add my words to this list.

We just had to put down our "WT" dog. (the one in my avatar). While I know many of you may think it was only a dog, the sense of loss was overwhelming. It's difficult to share someone or some thing for years and lose them...whether it's sudden or from a long-term illness, the feelings are the same.

I do believe we will see our loved ones again, and yes I do also believe that there are dogs in heaven...God would never leave out any of his creatures. I will say a prayer for you all that you heal and hurt less.

May you all have a very blessed holiday season.

Evelyn

 

[Christina L]

Ann,

Ann,

I am so sorry about the loss of your sister. It only makes it harder, I'm sure, to experience a loved one's tragic death. May God give you comfort.

I've said it before on this board (I think) and I will say it again - when we get to the "other side" we will kick ourselves for having held onto this life. We see the untimely deaths of people as sad things (for us) but the deceased are in a much better place - a peaceful, loving place in the presence of a loving God.

I always wondered when I was younger why "mature" people always looked so sad (and swore I would NEVER be an unhappy older person) - now I see the same morose look at times on my face when I look in the mirror and it is because I have watched my loved ones leave me and I miss them so much. Life is never the same after that.

However, we have to make the best of our lives to honor those who have gone before us and eek out the bits of joy that are present in every life.

Christina L.

 

[Scottie]

Dear Ann

Dear Ann

Thankyou for this post ...again my deepest sympathy for the loss of your dear sister ....this is a deeply hard season for those who are mourning and my thoughts and prayers are with you .
We too have been touched by tragic loss this year ..in January my husband's best friend and golf partner died suddenly age 42 from a virus that attacked his heart. He left a young widow and a six year old daughter and my husband has mourned him deeply. This was closely followed by the death of a dear Grand old Aunt of his who died after a second valve replacement and then followed closely by her daughter age 41 dying suddenly of cancer.But by far the saddest loss we had to cope with this year was the death in a car crash of my son's friend Christopher who would have been 18 in January. He died along with another friend Calum aged 16. No words could express the deep sorrow our community felt as it buried two of our finest young people one day after another.
We wake each morning and more tolerant of each other weaknesses and more kindly to strangers..we have learned the hard way this year that one really never knows the time.....but although we are sad here we know that our lives are richer for having known our dear friends that we have lost.
We hug more and always remember we are not promised tomorrow .
Love
Scottie

 

[Abbanabba]

I know this is a hard time of the year, but I hope everyone who has suffered some sort of loss this year is able to enjoy the memories of their loved ones and share them with the family and friends who surround you now.

My best wishes to you all,
Anna

 

[epstns]

Choked up, can't really respond. . .

This, for me, is also the second holiday season without my mom. The sense of loss never goes away.

To all who read or participate in this thread, to those who have lost loved ones recently, may you and your loved ones truly be with God.

 

[sylviayasgur]

hi ann,
i think of you often and realize that the holidays are a particularly difficult time for those who have lost someone dear to them.
please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.
what beautiful responses to this thread as well.
wishing you all a _most of all_ healthy holiday.
stay well, sylvia

 

[Sherry]

My thoughts are with you and your family this holiday season, Ann. Many, many hugs to you.