I am SO ready to go back to work!!!

[Praline]

I found this site after I found out about my valve problem. After I read a lot of posts, posted, and got beaucoup responses, I really felt better about the whole thing. I also kept so busy at work that I did not have time to think. I spent hours e-mailing teacher resources companies to ask for help to replace the personal resources teachers lost at school to Katrina. It paid off and we received so much stuff...I was amazed at how generous people have been.
Then here comes Christmas holidays. We usually go up to MA to visit my family but I decided it was easier and cheaper to stay here.I wanted to get some of these tests out of the way so I would be able to save my sick days. And also I wanted to really know what I was dealing with. So Tuesday I went for an angiogram and a right cath. I found out I have a blockage in one of my arteries. That is all I know. They are forwarding the results to my cardiologist. He should be calling me.But with the New Year's weekend it will be later next week I'm sure.
So now I am going crazy again. I have been taking it easy because of the angiogram so too much time to think crazy thought. I am getting so SCARED again..Today I was thinking.."Maybe we should have gone to MA to see my mom (she is 87). If I have surgery and something goes wrong , I may not see her again" Then I am thinking, " This surgery is so much easier for a young person. I am almost 65..more risks!!" I feel like crying at the drop of a hat. It is always in the back of my mind. When I am at school with the young kids , I do not have time to think..
And now I am sure they will want to do surgery even more..3 things to worry about now..AFib, severe mitral valve regurgitation , and now a blockage.....
I want to put a row of sad faces at the end of this post but I cannot figure out how to do it. I am losing it.

 

[Cris N]

Praline,
First of all, take a deep breath - this is going to work out ok. Just for the record, to use the Smilies all you have to do is have your cursor in the text where you want the smilie (or frownie) and click on it. It will work...

Secondly, the good news is - now that you've had the cath they know what needs to be fixed - better to find out now than 6 months down the road and have to go through another procedure. Just lump it into the whole "getting the heart fixed' thing. They do this all the time. Many people don't get their arteries checked until after a heart attack. It's good preventative medicine!

Thirdly, regarding your mother (and the family)... ok, so you didn't get to see her - pick up the phone and call her. Tell her you wish it had worked out differently - tell her you love her. I'm sure she understands why you stayed home and undoubtedly admires you for it. You do noble work and have gone through so much.

Fourthly, you're going to be fine. You've got some medical issues that need to be addressed but you're headed in that direction. While it's major surgery, it is common. The surgeons have been performing OHS for over 50 years and they become quite good at it. I forget, have you met with a surgeon yet? If not, when you talk with the cardiologist let him/her know that you need to do this to help get your head together.

Remember that we're here for you. Those who've had surgery will help you with questions about the actual procedure and the recovery. Those who are in the 'Waiting Room' can share with you how they are coping. Be sure to let your cardio and your PCP know about your anxiety. They can help with education and information and, if appropriate, medication. If that's suggested, go with it. Contrary to what teachers usually preach, drugs can be your friends

Cris

 

[rbl1999]

Hi, Praline, I agree, this is the most difficult time for you. You will be fine, and will feel so good after you have the surgery. We have all been there as far as the anxiety. My doctor gave me a script for xanax which really helped when I would get that panicky feeling. You may want to discuss that with your doctor. I went thru the same kind of thing because my kids are all up North and I am in Florida, I didn't get to see them before my surgery. It will all work out and we are all here to help you thru this... All the best Rose

 

[Granbonny]

Praline

Praline

First,....65 is not old.. That's my age.. I had my surgery at age 62..did GREAT..No pain, ect. and was in a Private room the next day...Did NOT remember anything from the time they gave me my Good-feel shot at Prep..until I awoke in Private room..and daughter was asking me..do you want to get up?..I said, sure..home in 5 days.. ..My age, 85 year old Aunt had open-heart surgery for clogged arteries the same time, I had mine...She did great, too.....My guilt came from not being able to drive over and see my Daddy..a 6 hour trip.for 6 weeks....I'm sure that you will do great..and can fly to see your Mom..about 6 weeks post-op....I asked my family NOT to tell my Daddy..what I was going to have done..He was age 86 at the time..Just, that I was going to have to have surgery..He would have wondered where I was..why i didn't call him, ect...............First, take care of yourself..plan a home-coming plan..recliner, food, ect.You will need someone to stay with you the first 2 weeks..To help with meds, doctor post-op appointments, ect...Remember it is very important to walk, walk,..gets the nasty drugs out of you.. ..Let us know what you hear..we are here for you.. Bonnie

 

[susieq14]

((((((((((((((((((((((((( Praline)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Dear Praline,
Just wanted to send you a big hug and lots of good thoughts your way to help you get through this difficult time.

I am so sorry to hear you are so distressed but I can understand why. You really got some surprising and unexpected news at your physical and have had a lot to deal with and digest in a very short time. I think it is only natural to be feeling like you do about not visiting your Mom but don't beat yourself up about it. Try and call her her as often as you can and you will have to decide whether to tell her about your problem or not. I usually err on the side of not sharing news with my 78 year old Mom at least until I have all the facts so she doesn't have to wonder and worry more than necessary.

I'm relatively new to the "waiting room" (was diagnosed with mitral regurgitation in august 04 totally out of the blue just like you) but unfortunately I don't have any wonderful ways of coping so I can't share them with you. (Well actually I did kind of put my valve problem on the back burner a few times since my diagnosis but it was not by choice and not a method I would recommend - I developed a multitude of other medical problems! LOL In the interim I had a surgical biopsy for a breast lump which was benign, was diagnosed with erosive esophagitis, had my first ever abnormal pap test which needs follow-up and am currently waiting for a follow-up MRI to check an indeterminate lesion on my liver. I guess when it rains it pours! )

Anyway don't call yourself old at 64. My father had triple bypass in 1983 at the age of 62 and did very well and my brother's mother-in-law just had OHS for aortic stenosis and she is 65. I'm sure working with those young kids must keep you very young at heart and that's a good thing. It is too bad that you have a long week-end to deal with before you can go back and get re-energized from them. Is there any way that you could plan a fun day for yourself and go to the mall, the movies, a museum or whatever you enjoy?

Please take care and Keep your chin up!

Sue