Hi ladybug-
Welcome to this fantastic site. being a caregiver wife myself, I can relate to what you must be feeling. My husband, Joe, has had 3 valve surgeries and 2 lung surgeries, he also has a pacemaker and several other very serious conditions including congestive heart failure, and pulmonary hypertension. He's always got something going on with his health.
There are times when the stress can be unbearable. At those times, I have to try to take little mini-vacations from things. I go to this site and read and post things, I escape to the sewing room, and get really involved with making something creative, I look for new recipes that will be good for Joe (he's strictly no salt) and will be tasty, I go outside and do some gardening, raking, etc., in other words, I get my mind off things and let it rest a bit. When things get really terrible, I get in the car and run some errands, with the cellphone (so Joe can call me if he needs to), and I close all the windows and turn up the music really loud.
We have both learned not to project too far ahead, because with Joe's conditions, it's hard to plan too much into the future. We try not to worry about all the "what if's" that could happen. Don't get me wrong, I have an emergency plan in the back of my mind at all times, but it stays there. If things are good today, we celebrate today, if he is feeling a little better today, then we can think about tomorrow being even better. Just have to take it one day at a time, and live in the present.
With your husband facing surgery in the not too distant future, there are several things to remember.
This surgery is a life-saving thing. His ablation is a life-saving thing.
The surgeons who do this, are in and out of people's hearts all the time. They can do all the necessary things to take care of your husband's problems. They are very expert at what they do.
Your husband will be taken care of extremely well in the hospital. everyone in the ICU and step-down units is top-notch.
The pain medications are very effective.
Your husband will most likely be in the hospital from 5-7 days, perhaps a little longer, but usually not by much. That's a pretty brief period of time.
After he gets home, the healing begins. And as you can read from many of the posts here, after a year, things are back to normal and even better than before.
So there is much to celebrate. It is a hard thing to experience, but it is well worth whatever has to be endured in the short term. The gains are long term.
Please come here often and ask all kinds of questions.
We all pretty much agree that learning as much as you can about what your husband's conditions are is just about the most important thing you can do. It's hard at first to read all this stuff, but it does get easier and will help you tremendously.
Best wishes,
