husband having AVR

[janzak]

Hi there,
I've been reading the posts for the last couple of weeks but this is my first. About 6 weeks ago my hubbie collapsed. We went to the hospital here(small Greek island), where he stayed for 3 days before signing himself out(another story). The following week we went to a hospital on the mainland.There he had an angiogram &like a scan thing done & they told him he urgently needed an AVR but had to find his own surgeon. The following week we went to see a doctor who did nothing so a Greek friend went with us & sorted it out and referred him to Athens.Two weeks ago he saw the cardiosurgeon there & was told he'll have his operation within the next 6 weeks(4 now).I'm so scared at what to expect. The nursing care here isn't good at all so it'll be up to me!! My hubby seems to be trying to sort everything out & making sure there are people to look after me if anything bad happens.He's not very good at talking about his feelings & doesn't like me making a fuss.Sorry for rambling but I sometimes feel friends don't want to hear about it & I don't know anyone who's had it done. jan xx

 

[aussiemember]

Hi Jan, welcome - you've come to the right place to get some answers to your questions. I can't really be much help but just wanted to say hello and let you know there'll be others along soon who will be able to provide some guidance

 

[hensylee]

Mornin, Jan. Welcome to VR. As our Down Under friend has just said, you are in the right place at the right time to get all the information you need.

You must now become your husband's advocate, especially if the nursing care is lacking where you are. Learn all you can here in VR. Ask questions. Pay close attention to what his doctors tell you - then run the info by members here so they can explain (probably) what it means so that you will fully understand.

Your husband is doing the right thing in getting his affairs in order - any surgery should cause this to happen. I got mine in order before heart surgery because of the 'just in case' factor, but I made it through with flying colors and by the number of our membership, so have the VR family members come through valve replacement. Everyone should have their affairs in order whether surgery is looming or not.

Ask the members questions - they will answer whatever you ask, or will find an answer or tell you how to get an answer.

You are no longer alone. We are here and our number is great. We walk right along with you to help you feel safer.

Blessins........

 

[EVELYN]

Hi Jan

Henslyee is absolutely right, you are here now and we will all help you out. My husband, Tyce, had AVR surgery almost 4 years ago and here are some things that helped me out.

I kept a notebook and wrote down whatever I could remember that the surgeons said.....I also questioned the nurses in ICU extensively.

Are you working? If so, you will definitely have to take some time off your job while he recuperates. Tyce's surgery was the end of June, and being a teacher, I had the entire summer off, so it worked out well.

Do you have family who can help out?

Remember, he really should have a complete dental examination pre op.....that was one of the big things our surgeon here in the states required.

He is scared, too, whether he plans to admit it or not. If it makes you feel better to make a fuss, do what you have to do. I guess the most important thing is to talk it out.....

Everyone here will jump on board to help you out as best we can. It WILL work our. How old is your hubby and what kind of health has he been in.

Don't worry, it will all work out.....the waiting is the hardest part.

Evelyn

PS Welcome to a great place.

 

[Mike]

We'll help you hang on for the ride!

We'll help you hang on for the ride!

No doubt Nancy (Joe's wife) will weigh in here soon---she is our model care-giving wife---but I am Diana, Mike's wife and I want to be here for you as you hurtle toward your beloved's AVR. I had no one to talk to or to stand with me when Mike's heart gave out on him and he had to have both mitral and aortic valves replaced. The surgery took us by surpirse and we did not discover this WONDERFUL bunch of people until Mike was pretty well recovered. So I am very glad you are here now.

We were blessed with terrific nursing care at the hospital where Mike's surgery took place, but I have had to take care of other family members at hospitals where I had to DEFEND the patient from the nursing staff and provide the care myself, so I feel for your concern about being the "nurse". May I assure you, you can run a LONG time on adrenaline (and caffeine). You can gain lots of helpful information from the people on this site. And I believe you will find that your instincts will serve you well in knowing what to do and when to do it.

Collect the practical hints this group will offer. Listen to the encouraging voices of these brave folks who have had their lives renewed through surgery. And vent your feelings here as you ask your questions. Feel free to private message me, too. You're in a safe place here.

Diana

 

[Nancy]

Welcome to the site. Waiting for your husband's surgery is a very difficult time. I've helped my husband through many heart and lung surgeries (he's had three heart valve surgeries and two lung surgeries), and have done a TON of what would probably be considered practical nursing aide care both in the hospital and definitely at home. In addition to his surgeries, Joe has had many, many other serious medical problems which required intensive care at home.

I can truthfully say that it is exhausting and difficult, but it is something you can do. The most important thing you will have to do during this pre-surgery period of time is to get online as much as possible and read everything you can get your hands on about his medical condition, the surgery and post surrgery phases. You will need to know almost as much as some of his medical professionals know. This is the only way you can give him the best care possible. You can do a lot at home to help him recover properly.

This site is invaluable for the best practical advice, resources and support.

We will do our very best to help you out with as many answers as possible. We can help you find information on the site. There is an enormous amount of information here. Look through the reference resources, and read as many older posts as you can.

It will be almost like taking a college course.

 

[rbl1999]

Hi, I also want to welcome you to this sight and also reaffirm that there are lots of us here to help you both out. I had AVR 7 months ago and am doing very well.. It is a tough surgery, but if your husband does everything he is supposed to do, he will do well.. There is not much that someone here does not know or has not experienced. This sight was a life saver for me when I went thru this. Rose

 

[sylviayasgur]

hi jan,
welcome!
i can feel your worry from reading your post.
my husband is also the patient here... it is a very frightening time, the not knowing. nancy is right in that educating yourself and reading as much as you can (here on this site) and asking questions is very empowering and will give you a sense of control and comfort.

have you met with surgeons yet in athens? what are they saying/recommending? is that where your husband will be having his surgery?
we found it very helpful to meet with several surgeons to get a different view on the surgery from different surgeons...

in any case, this site has many wonderful people who are so willing to hold your hand throughout this process.
please use us, come back, let us know what is happening and what your plans are....
we are happy to help.

good luck and be well,
sylvia

 

[gijanet]

Jan

Jan

Just wanted to welcome you to the group. Not a heart wife, but a heart mom. Being a surrogate nurse, though, falls well into my ballpark. When Katie is in the hospital, my husband and I stay with her 24/7. Do you have someone who can help you out, family or friend-wise? Now is the time to call in favors as you will need some relief. It is doable if you don't have help, but much more draining on you. WE have some single parents of CHD kids who manage it, but it is rough.

A few hints: when you meet witht the surgeon, pre-op, post-op, or whenever, see if he will let you tape record it. This is so much easier than trying to write everything down. Keep a spiral notebook handy. Log all blood pressure readings, heart rate, new directives or orders, dose changes, when medications are given and how much, blood units, plasma, albumen, liquid out and in, food, etc. Yes, it should be available in the chart, but this way, you have it. (I caught errors in Katie's on a few occasions, and the nurses usually relied on us for intake amounts.) It will be impossible to keep track of all the meds when they are still being administered via IV and immediately post-op, so don't drive yourself nuts trying to track all that. Katie was on at least thirteen meds post-op last surgery..........at least there were thirteen med pumps hooked up on two or three poles, but once they start weaning some of those, then you can track them, especially when they start switching them to oral..............that's usually when the errors occur. If something doesn't feel right, question it. I have found, too, that if the nurses know I am writing stuff down, they run a little bit tighter ship.

You can do this, and we will help. Hugs. Janet

 

[janzak]

thanks

thanks

Thanks to you all for taking the time to reply. I told my hubby about this site last night & asked him if he wanted to look. He wasn't interested. I think its 'cos he's scared & just doesn't want to know so I guess I'll have to ask all the questions when we go to the hospital. We're just sat waiting for a phonecall. My husbands parents live here but don't really keep in contact due to a fallout. When my hubby first collapsed they didn't even go to the hospital as they were going out for somneones birthday, although his Mum is pretty good at turning on the waterworks when she's had a drink. Sorry to sound so bitter but he(and I) could really do with their support at the minute. He must have the op done before summer as I have to work(we only work during the summer) & as he won't be able to & we've already borrowed money(its a strange system here) I'm having to do extra hours so thats stressing me out but I can't show it.At least now I've found this site & can say it here. Thanks Jan

 

[Blanche]

Jan:
Please add me to the people here who would like to help and support you at this very stressful time. My husband, Al, had his mitral valve replaced in October 1990. There was nobody here who could help me either. My 17 year old son and I just took charge of everything and made it happen. We talked to anyone who would talk to us...pharmacist, nurses, our other doctors, the dentist, medical librarians... It is stressful, but it can be done. I did have one friend to lean on. She talked me through many things. The surgery was successful and my guy is continuing to enjoy life 16 years later.

You have many people here who will try to help you as things come up.

Blanche

Oh, I will also say, my husband, like yours, did not want to talk about anything related to the surgery. His reply to everything was, "Don't worry about it."