Well, I'm sure no one else here can relate to this anxiety that I'm feeling, ha - just kidding. Haven't been this sad and down for a bit now, but this is my night for all of that I guess. Just a wide range of emotions going on. Worrying about all of it. Will I make it through it, leaving my family to be wheeled away, and into the operating room alone, my family having to see me in such a shape when I come out, the fear of it all is just a little too much for me tonight. I'm sorry to be such a whiner tonight, but, unfortunately, this is where I'm at tonight. What was the best thing that you found to help you through times like these? : ( Please share.
How did you make it through these tough nights?
- Thread starter Angel
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malibu82
Well-known member
Luckily for me, I was diagnosed and told I would need surgery this year only 5 days after giving birth. So that meant I was TIRED! I had a newborn and a 1 year old and for me sleep was no problem. As surgery got closer, I really just did my best to block it out. Keep my mind off of it. Fall asleep watching my favorite show. And then of course there is always xanax !! Some days are worse then others, but you just really have to stay strong 
Well spoken Jackie, keeping busy has helped me too. I know Angel that you are struggling right now and that is to be expected. Don't be hard on yourself it is all part of the process we are going through. I am sure everyone on this forum who was in the stage of pre-op felt some sort of anxiety and depression over what was to come. We are all here for you! Hugs!
Thank you. That's really what I've been doing, is just trying to block it out, but for some reason, tonight, it's just all crashing in on me. I admire you for going through childbirth and then having to deal with this type surgery so soon after! You are such a strong young woman. I know I have to re-gain my strength too. This is really one of my "worse" days, as you call it. I'll get through this, it's just gonna take some doings. Thanks again for your words for me. (You're looking great by the way) Take care of yourself!
Philip B
Well-known member
Tough Nights?
Tough Nights?
The waiting and all of the negative emotions that accompany it isn't easy. As others have noted, staying busy and focusing on other aspects of your life make it somewhat easier.
My work with my kids and staff literally saved me during regular working hours before my AVR surgery in 2007. Nights were much tougher. My wife and I spent a lot of evenings doing the "just in case" kind of planning we needed to do.
It's difficult to avoid the negative emotion stuff because it's pretty normal to imagine all things that tend to be pretty "dark". Most of that kind of stuff seems pretty silly when one considers the high success rates associated with valve replacement surgery. Still, even when the chances of a bad outcome are so low, faced with any hint of our mortality, it bums us out.
Try to focus on that positive outcome.
-Philip
Tough Nights?
The waiting and all of the negative emotions that accompany it isn't easy. As others have noted, staying busy and focusing on other aspects of your life make it somewhat easier.
My work with my kids and staff literally saved me during regular working hours before my AVR surgery in 2007. Nights were much tougher. My wife and I spent a lot of evenings doing the "just in case" kind of planning we needed to do.
It's difficult to avoid the negative emotion stuff because it's pretty normal to imagine all things that tend to be pretty "dark". Most of that kind of stuff seems pretty silly when one considers the high success rates associated with valve replacement surgery. Still, even when the chances of a bad outcome are so low, faced with any hint of our mortality, it bums us out.
Try to focus on that positive outcome.
-Philip
Thank you Philip. So true indeed. I'm staying as busy as I can, but you're right - these nights can be a real killer! I'm doing my best to pull my self together. It kind of hit me suddenly, as I have been doing so very good for a while now, but.... I've gotta move on, and move on in a positive direction. Thanks again for your encouragement. I hope you're feeling and doing very well also! Take care.
Marguerite53
Premium Level User
Hi Angel. Waiting is the hardest part. Really. Most of us will tell you that! There are just too many uncertainties and it can weigh you down very quickly. I waited 3 years for my valve to get bad enough to need replacement. Some days were very hard, like you say. I found that doing something rather monotonous really helped. I started knitting scarves! It was a fun enterprise since I had so many nice women to give them away to (and my then teen-age daughter's friends). I would go to the yarn shops and choose bright, beautiful, soft yarn. Then I would mix and match several yarns into one scarf. They were not special! They were just your basic knitting stitch, over and over and over and over. It was very soothing for me. And sensual in the warmth and color and softness. Some people like crossword puzzles, or numbers games. Some people play solitaire (I actually did that in the hospital to pass the time).
Anyway, I'm glad to hear that you know that this is just a bad day and that you can walk with confidence tomorrow, or the next day, or some day soon!! Head high!! Shoulders back. Yes! You've got it now!!
Good luck and best wishes.
Marguerite
Anyway, I'm glad to hear that you know that this is just a bad day and that you can walk with confidence tomorrow, or the next day, or some day soon!! Head high!! Shoulders back. Yes! You've got it now!!
Good luck and best wishes.
Marguerite
lol, thanks so much Marguerite! You made me smile. I like the "head high, shoulders back..." Thanks for your encouragement. I do need to get busy on doing something like you mentioned. I'm still working part time, which helps a lot, other than when I'm just feeling tired and bad and wish I didn't have to go in! Hey, you have the valve that I'm seriously thinking of going with, bovine and I'm age 47. Any insight for me about that? Just wondering! Thanks so much, glad to hear you seem to be doing very well!
Marcia58
Well-known member
Angel,
Planning helps, staying busy helps. A couple other things I found were prayer (my own and other people's for me) and for those "lie in the dark and stare at the ceiling" nights, my dr wrote a prescription for Lunesta.
Planning helps, staying busy helps. A couple other things I found were prayer (my own and other people's for me) and for those "lie in the dark and stare at the ceiling" nights, my dr wrote a prescription for Lunesta.
Ross
Well-known member
Angel you really are going through the hardest part of this whole ordeal RIGHT NOW. The waiting and wondering will tear you apart, if you let it. While this seems like a dismissal of your feelings, just forget about it. I know that's easier said then done, but you have no control over any of this, and as a human, your trying your best to control an out of control situation. Just hop on your surf board and ride the wave. It'll soon be over and you'll look back at it and wonder why you worried so much. :wink2:
My personal opinion is that your too young for a tissue valve. I really think you need to consider and weigh what another surgery a few years down the road will mean to you, your body, your family, income and all. Mechanical doesn't guarantee you won't have another surgery, but it's usually a one time shot. Of course, this is only my opinion. The choice is up to you.
My personal opinion is that your too young for a tissue valve. I really think you need to consider and weigh what another surgery a few years down the road will mean to you, your body, your family, income and all. Mechanical doesn't guarantee you won't have another surgery, but it's usually a one time shot. Of course, this is only my opinion. The choice is up to you.
NealR
Well-known member
Angel,
Well, I had a little help. My doc prescribed a little white pill called ativan. Took this every nite for 2 months, up to surgery. First time I slept in years. Since my brother went through the same surgery two years earlier, I already knew what I was in for. Good news, he came out very well, and today he is doing just fine.
I focused (in the day), on my job. I call on companies and was quite able to share what I was about to go through, and won some business this way. In the evening I walked. Every nite, for about 30 minutes.
Ended up in great shape for surgery, which really helped me in my recovery.
I would read everything I could on medical science, whether related to my upcoming surgery, or some other discipline, such as physics or chemistry. Strangely, this had a soothing effect. Especially after I took the ativan.
You might want to think about looking forward, say after the surgery. I figured everyting, goals, targets, such as when I expect to return to work, when I would get all my energy back, even going up the stairs to my bedroon the day I come home. I hit all of them.
Wish you the best of luck, I'll bet you are glad you are getting tons of support.
Well, I had a little help. My doc prescribed a little white pill called ativan. Took this every nite for 2 months, up to surgery. First time I slept in years. Since my brother went through the same surgery two years earlier, I already knew what I was in for. Good news, he came out very well, and today he is doing just fine.
I focused (in the day), on my job. I call on companies and was quite able to share what I was about to go through, and won some business this way. In the evening I walked. Every nite, for about 30 minutes.
Ended up in great shape for surgery, which really helped me in my recovery.
I would read everything I could on medical science, whether related to my upcoming surgery, or some other discipline, such as physics or chemistry. Strangely, this had a soothing effect. Especially after I took the ativan.
You might want to think about looking forward, say after the surgery. I figured everyting, goals, targets, such as when I expect to return to work, when I would get all my energy back, even going up the stairs to my bedroon the day I come home. I hit all of them.
Wish you the best of luck, I'll bet you are glad you are getting tons of support.
Dang it - I just lost my post again - hate it when that happens... And I gotta run to a dr. appt. But maybe Penny will have time to tell you the rest of this (I think she understood what I meant the other day and even came up with a great example in her case). It has to do with something in sports we call "visualize success". Basically, if you can see it, you can do it. So visualize yourself 6 months or 12 months from now, doing something with your family. If you can see it, that means it's gonna happen, right??? Penny - help me out here and fill in the blanks I gotta run.
I gotta run.
BarbJean
Well-known member
Angel, I just feel so much for you. The night is long and dark and when everyone else is asleep it is so lonely. When the sun comes up in the morning it seems to relieve things a bit. Like some of the others, when I really think I will have a bad night I take an antianxiety med, Klonipin. I was wary of taking it, thinking I would become addicted, but it really helps take the edge off for me. I will certainly be taking those along with me for the day of surgery, unless I can convince the anesthesiologist to put me under along with my son. I think Margeurite's advice is great and I am trying to do as she advises. I will be thinking of you and praying for all to go well. Please keep us posted. Barb
Andy didn't you get taught to never start something unless you could finish it. LOL Just kidding.
Angel what Andy is referring to ( I think) really involves moving that negative energy within us and creating positve energy . Hell they made a movie and sold millions of dollars of merchandise on the idea. (The Secret) Its proven science, people who use these types of techniques in their lives have less stress and anxiety. There are many forms of visualization, as Andy refers to what he used is imagining the future, seeing the future in your mind, and creating that picture in your head and focussing on it (repeatedly).
Visualizing a peaceful place while doing deep breathing exercises is another form of self help. This basically will have the same result which is the opposite of focusing on the negative. It is changing your thought patterns to be positive and moving that negative energy out of your body.
For me Angel, I am visualizing my very first grandchild. I think of holding that little ray sunshine and it automatically lifts my spirits. Hope this helps.
Anyone else have some suggestions?
Angel what Andy is referring to ( I think) really involves moving that negative energy within us and creating positve energy . Hell they made a movie and sold millions of dollars of merchandise on the idea. (The Secret) Its proven science, people who use these types of techniques in their lives have less stress and anxiety. There are many forms of visualization, as Andy refers to what he used is imagining the future, seeing the future in your mind, and creating that picture in your head and focussing on it (repeatedly).
Visualizing a peaceful place while doing deep breathing exercises is another form of self help. This basically will have the same result which is the opposite of focusing on the negative. It is changing your thought patterns to be positive and moving that negative energy out of your body.
For me Angel, I am visualizing my very first grandchild. I think of holding that little ray sunshine and it automatically lifts my spirits. Hope this helps.
Anyone else have some suggestions?
Angel,
Believe you are days or weeks away from surgery at end of June.
pre op anxiety was the worse for me as well, although it was daytime, sleeping nights not an issue pre op, although those moments before sleep...
prepare and keep distracted, personally found that once decisions were out of the way, the last days pre op were fateful and calmer, yes and as others have expressed...visualize 2 months on and some fun stuff to do then... no use dwelling on the stuff not in your control, it simply energy saps...so when in doldrums, think positive and find distractions.
all the best
Believe you are days or weeks away from surgery at end of June.
pre op anxiety was the worse for me as well, although it was daytime, sleeping nights not an issue pre op, although those moments before sleep...
prepare and keep distracted, personally found that once decisions were out of the way, the last days pre op were fateful and calmer, yes and as others have expressed...visualize 2 months on and some fun stuff to do then... no use dwelling on the stuff not in your control, it simply energy saps...so when in doldrums, think positive and find distractions.
all the best
Thanks Penny, I'd just written yet another long-winded reply (I'm sure a lot of you are ready to kick me out of here by now, lol) and the screen flipped to something else and I lost everything I wrote. Don't know if others have noticed this but it has happened to me a couple times. Anyway, thanks for finishing my story, I owe ya one I didn't know about the science behind it or the movie, but just remember it clicking in a lot of kids heads when I'd say as a coach - if you can see yourself hitting the ball, you'll be a lot more likely to do it. Often times they'd come up to me later and say - it worked! I saw myself hitting it, and I did! And I also remember using that on myself 'cause I kept seeing myself years from now doing stuff with my kids, being active, etc. and that convinced me - if I can see myself doing all that, it HAS to be true... That got me through the low points
I didn't know about the science behind it or the movie, but just remember it clicking in a lot of kids heads when I'd say as a coach - if you can see yourself hitting the ball, you'll be a lot more likely to do it. Often times they'd come up to me later and say - it worked! I saw myself hitting it, and I did! And I also remember using that on myself 'cause I kept seeing myself years from now doing stuff with my kids, being active, etc. and that convinced me - if I can see myself doing all that, it HAS to be true... That got me through the low points daveguy14
Well-known member
I too took some anti-anxiety meds beforehand. I asked about dependency, and he said in the absence of a history of drug or alcohol abuse, it's exceedingly unlikely I'd become dependent/addicted. By all means, talk to a doc about it if you want to because it can really take the edge off--not completely off, but it helps.
Michelle D
Well-known member
Right now I've got two months to look forward to. Thank goodness for ativan and ambien. It is so hard because I have been waiting since February and I worry that by the time i get to those few horrible nights just prior to surgery my ambien and ativan will not work anymore. I've found that just telling yourself that worrying is not going to solve anything helps quite a bit. I know if I have a panic attack it isn't going to make the surgery go away or anything. But sometimes the fear overwhelms reason. So I'm with you, but honestly I would have probably lost my mind by now if it weren't for ambien. Maybe you should talk to your doctor about a sleep aid.
