Helpful hint for pre-surgery folks

[Barry]

You're going to find a lot of folks checking on you and asking how you're doing.

Don't to yourself ask how your wife/lover how he/she's doing. It's hard on them, and folks forget to ask.

 

[Nancy]

Another hint for the spouse. When Joe had all of his many surgeries, it fell on me to call everyone and tell them how things went every day. I was so emotionally and physically exhausted that I found it very, very hard to do. I would spend all day in the hospital and some of the evening, coming home to feed the dog (we live about 20 mins. from the hospital) and after that long day, it was just too hard. And I did NOT want to tie up the phone in case there might be a call from the hospital regarding Joe.

Do yourself a BIG favor and designate one person to tell, who will in turn call the others, I know it might cause some hurt feelings, but you must take care of yourself. You'll be called upon to do heavy duty nursing care when your loved one comes home.

And also limit visitors for the first few days at home. Both of you will not be sleeping well at all, and you will have a ton of things to do, up to and including personal care when needed.

 

[Barry]

... You'll be called upon to do heavy duty nursing care when your loved one comes home...

Hey, Joe, for a small fee I'll keep it to myself that I live alone and took care of myself post-op.

 

[Phyllis]

All good suggestions, Nancy. I called Dick' sister every night and had her relay the message to all others except of course our children who were in daily contact. I also limited visitors the entire 6 weeks before his surgeon's appointment except for his 99 year old father who came by almost every day to see how Dick was. We felt he needed the reassurance that Dick was ok, but even with him, when I saw Dick was getting tired or impatient, I suggested that it was time for him to take a nap and his Dad took the hint. I also took all the phone calls to the house and Dick did not talk on the phone until he was ready. It's a draining time on both the patient and the spouse and you need to pace yourself and rest when you can.

 

[tobagotwo]

I had a visitor less than ten minutes after I got in the door, and it took almost an hour to steer him back out that door.

I got home on a Friday, and my wife grudgingly went back to work on Monday, mostly because I was chugging along just fine, doing stairs and everything. She called and checked up on me a few times a day, but I was out walking most of the time, as it was a beautiful April (especially for being post-OHS).

It was very stressful for her, though. Everything seems to say that you shouldn't be fine, and I was (actually, many of us are). While she was glad of that, she was concerned that I might not be as well as I thought, and that "something" might happen. I think she actually felt guilty or negligent for being at work, even though I pushed her to go back. In hindsight, I should have taken her walking with me instead. It probably would have made it better for her.

Best wishes,

 

[gadgetman]

Maybe we might consider setting up something similar to our Church. One person volunteers to keep in touch with the family and pass all information to the rest of us. That might be handy if the pre-op person didn't have anyone in the family that was "computer savy". One of us could collect the information and post it here (or in Post Op) for the rest of the "family". I wouldn't mind posting updates for someone. If you are in need, send me a Private Message and I'll pass my phone number to you. I'm sure some others here would be willing to help too. I know several members that have had direct contact with fellow members posting their progress for them.

Sometimes I can't stop typing anyway (WHO SAID SHUT UP!!!!!! ).

May God Bless,

Danny

 

[Wise]

Maybe we might consider setting up something similar to our Church. One person volunteers to keep in touch with the family and pass all information to the rest of us. That might be handy if the pre-op person didn't have anyone in the family that was "computer savy". One of us could collect the information and post it here (or in Post Op) for the rest of the "family". I wouldn't mind posting updates for someone. If you are in need, send me a Private Message and I'll pass my phone number to you. I'm sure some others here would be willing to help too. I know several members that have had direct contact with fellow members posting their progress for them. Danny

Danny, I think this is a very good idea. I have grown fond of the people here and would certainly be willing to help out in this way.

Wise

 

[Glenda]

Danny, that's exactly what I did. We have a prayer chain at our church. In the morning I would have one of my daughters or husband call the head of our prayer chain and she would then pass it on to others. My husband went back to work right away because our business is just right across the street from our home. He always came home for lunch and one of my daughters was with me all day for about two weeks. My husband did go to the grocery store one time. That was quite a experience for him since he hadnt been for years. That's just not his thing! He seemed to be so relieved that I had had the surgery. Before the surgery I was failing so fast right before his eyes. He was afraid I was running out of time. Bless his heart, he was so worried. After the surgery, everthing was cool again.