Head injuries on warfarin

[Emma]

Hi,
I can probably take an educated guess at the answer to this question and have touched on it before but would really like your 'expert' advice too if you don't mind?
I did search on this site to find similar threads before i asked but didn't come up with my answers.

As i wrote earlier this week, Chloe has just had her first 'big' head bump since she's been on warfarin so it's forced me to think a little harder about precautions at school and to be very honest I am worrying myself sick, although i know i probably shouldn't be. I have read Al's site on the bit about head injuries and scared myself, then read some other stuff on the net - also scared myself!

At school at the moment, Chloe's really just joining in with the others doing what they do - including playtime (in a pretty big playground with 200 other children) and PE. My question really is, should i be giving her a helmet or something at these times to protect her head (as several people have now suggested) or not let her join in at all (which i am SO reluctant not to do as i have worked so hard up to now to give her a completely normal life!) or just relax a bit more and keep my fingers crossed???

How likely is she to have a bleed in her head if she bangs it hard? Is she very much more likely than 'normal' childen to develop a bleed?? Can doctors stop these bleeds if they do occur??
Can you tell i'm having a bit of a panic today??! What it is to be a mum of a heart child!!!

Thankyou all for putting up with these questions

Emma
xxx

 

[Guest]

Emma, as you have figured out, there is no answer to this question. So far, you have opted to try to give Chloe a normal life. I suspect that you would not want to change but are just re-examining your decision. There is no way to predict who will bleed from a "minor" head injury. Neither is there any way to predict what her psychological response will be to wearing a helmet. I suspect that she occasionally appears carrying the jacket that you sent her out wearing. She will do the same with the helmet. Her bump the other day was from a conscious decision to see what it felt like to fall off her seat. You cannot protect her from herself 24/7.

All that you can do is to say to yourself, "I made the best decision I could based on the information that I had at the time." You can never look back and say, "What if..." Everyone can relate to the words of the Toby Keith song, "I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then."

 

[Karlynn]

Emma, you are a Mom. Mom's panic. We think of all sorts of safe alternatives for our children. Even now, with my children in college, I worry. My son called to tell me he was driving to another college for the weekend. So I began to worry about him being on the road, accidents and such. My impulse was to tell him to stay put. But I told him to have fun, be careful and call when you get back to school.

There is so much in life that can happen, but if we spend our time worrying about most of it, we wouldn't be living life. My children have to remind me of that every now and again.

Yes, a helmet would help somewhat in protecting Emma's head - if (as Al said) she left it on. If she was forced to leave it on, she would not be happy about that and feel very different from her school mates. It's really important for children to feel the same as others. My guess is that those recommending she wear one might be more concerned about something happening that they could feel, or be held, responsible for and placing that above Chloe's need to be seen as "normal" to her peers.

Take a deep breath. I think our children grown up despite us, not because of us.

 

[Emma]

Thanks Al,
yeah i pretty much knew there was no set answer to what i'd like to know. I go through these 'stressy' patches over her condition from time to time when something prompts me to think about her as a 'heart child' again and not just 'Chloe' and it's quite upsetting.
What upsets and frustrates me more is that i seem to be quite alone as a parent of a MVR child and so have no-one to ask 'what they have done' about school issues etc. And i really believe that, although i work at her school and so all the other staff are friends of mine, they sometimes wonder why i worry about her - as she looks completely 'normal' outwardly.
I know people over here with children on warfarin but not with MVR's so their INR tends to be lower than Chloe's is, so they don't seem to have the same extent of worry about bumps and bangs as i may do with Chloe.
I've been speaking to my husband about it today and he would like her to wear the helmet (but then he's the one who would like her to be wrapped in bubble wrap all day long and sit nice and quiet and safe on a sofa constantly) but i'm very keen that she leads a normal life (btw she never hears us discussing these things about her condition unless we need to explain something to her!). So we have comprimised and tomorrow morning i'm going to pop in to see her teacher, explain that i'm worried about her in school and ask again that she be kept an eye on and be told to calm down and stop if they see her running around like a loon. I've also had a go at explaining again to Chloe why it's a bad idea to run in the playground, but at aged 4, it's pretty much all going over her head - bless her!

Thanks for reply Al - it's always good to get another opinion. Anyone else with any advice too - it'll be very welcome. Anyone been through school on warfarin etc??

Thankyou
From a very stressed mummy
xxx

 

[Emma]

Karlynn,
Thankyou!!!!
Your reply brought tears to my eyes because you are so right! And i think sometimes i need reminding that it's a 'mum' thing to worry about our children - not specifically a 'heart mum' thing.

Thankyou again
Emma
xxx

 

[Gemma]

I don't have an MVR or take warfarin, but...

I don't have an MVR or take warfarin, but...

Hi Emma,
I've been wracking my brains for 10 minutes and I can only remember one time when I hit my head badly as a kid. I was about 7 and my dad was pushing me on the swing in our back garden - I slipped off and banged my head on the swing. Spent the night in hospital with concussion and a suspected fractured skull - turned out it wasn't so I had the lovely hospital food and being woken up every 2 hours for no reason! Oh, and I got hit in the head by a football in the 4th year of high school - so twice in fact.
But, I do remember tons of times when I fell and bruised my knees, bum, elbows, etc - most of the time when you fall you stick out some part of yourself to stop your head hitting the deck. And all those parts can be treated much more easily than a bleed in your head.
(Yes, in case anyone's wondering, I am still pretty clumsy - seem to fall over dramatically at least once a year, including a spectacular tumble on my graduation day at uni!!)
If Chloe had something like epilepsy as well where she blacked out, then maybe it would be justifiable for her to wear a helmet as she wouldn't be able to stop her fall, but it sounds like she was just unlucky with the bench earlier this week. She'll probably be more careful in future or at least subconsciously so.
Of course you worry - that's what mums do and the world is a better place because of it - but realistically I think she'd probably not wear the helmet all the time anyway, and would probably then bang her head again when she wasn't wearing it if at all! and it could well make her friends treat her differently.
Just my theory but hope it helps .
Gemma.

 

[Ross]

No matter what protections you give her, she has to grow up and that isn't easy for anyone. You cannot protect her 24/7/365 and accidents are going to happen whether you stand guard all that time or not. You cannot stop them from happening.

Please don't view her as a heart patient. While there are times that this is the right thing to do, I would say in this circumstance, it's totally the wrong thing to do. She's as normal a child as any other out on the play ground. Let her grow that way. I know it's not easy being a parent, I've got 3 young men now, but hey, they had their share of mishaps over the years and they too, learned from each of them.

 

[Guest]

Most dads want their daughters wrapped in bubble wrap and duct tape.

My daughter had been in the Air Force and was working in New York City when she called me at 3:15 AM New York time. She asked if I wanted to know what she had just done and I said that I didn't think a father wanted to know what his daughter was doing at 3AM. It turns out that she had gone with some gay guys to "experience" Greenwich Village.

The INR level of the children doesn't make much difference. You would think that it does but it doesn't. What matters is that they are on warfarin.

 

[Emma]

Thankyou!

Thankyou!

Al, Ross, Gemma and Karlynn
Thankyou for all your replies. You have no idea how much better they made me feel!

Al, you're right i think, i was re-examining the decision i made to let her lead the life she does - pretty much normal - and i've come to the conclusion that i shouldn't make any changes to that life.

I did speak with her teachers again today who are on the lookout even more for any mad behaviour in the playgrounds from her. They agreed with me that the helmet would only protect her in the playground and that's IF she kept it on and IF she wasn't completely scarred by being made to wear it!
She was nervous enough today after me having a big talk with her yesterday about being careful. I felt really, really bad that i had made her feel different to her friends so I am now trying to relax a bit and am making a big effort to leave her be in school and just be 'one of the others'.

Al, here's hoping Clo doesn't want a job in the air force if thats what they get up to at 3am!! lol - must have done wonders for your stress levels!

Thankyou all again! It's so good to have you all here to give advice. Hope i can be as helpful to some of you at some point!

Emma
xxx

 

[Karlynn]

Emma,
I just smiled when I read your post. My mother-in-law used to say "Being a mom is just one big guilt trip after another." I used to think that was a horrible thing to say...then I had children and understood. We do the best we can, with the best of intentions and hope it all goes well.

There's a song by Shawn Colvin called "I'll Say I'm Sorry Now" She wrote it for her baby boy and it basically says - I'm going to be the best mom I can be, but I am going to do things that will screw you up in little or big ways, so I'll say I'm sorry now.

You are a great "mum". And Chloe is blessed to have you by her side.