Ross
Well-known member
HANDY CLEANING TIPS
Dirt
Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a
helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF
factor of 15 and leave it alone.
Cobwebs
Artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby
creating a romantic atmosphere. If someone points out that the light
fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim "What? And spoil the
mood?" (Or just throw glitter on them &call them holiday decorations.)
Pet Hair
Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming
you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand-sewn play animals for
underprivileged children. (Also keeps out cold drafts in winter.)
Guests
If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and
close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the
door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see our den,
but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."
Dusting
If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee
table and insist that "This is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes.
General Cleaning
Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water
in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous
locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself on the couch and sigh,
I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere." As a last resort, light
the oven, throw a teaspoon of cinnamon in a pie pan, turn off oven and
explain that you have been baking cookies for a bake sale for a favorite
charity and haven't had time to clean...Works every time.
Another favorite, I think from Erma Bombeck, always keepseveral get well
cards on the mantle so if unexpected guests arrive, you can say you've been
sick and unable to clean
Dirt
Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a
helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF
factor of 15 and leave it alone.
Cobwebs
Artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby
creating a romantic atmosphere. If someone points out that the light
fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim "What? And spoil the
mood?" (Or just throw glitter on them &call them holiday decorations.)
Pet Hair
Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming
you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand-sewn play animals for
underprivileged children. (Also keeps out cold drafts in winter.)
Guests
If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and
close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the
door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see our den,
but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."
Dusting
If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee
table and insist that "This is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes.
General Cleaning
Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water
in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous
locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself on the couch and sigh,
I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere." As a last resort, light
the oven, throw a teaspoon of cinnamon in a pie pan, turn off oven and
explain that you have been baking cookies for a bake sale for a favorite
charity and haven't had time to clean...Works every time.
Another favorite, I think from Erma Bombeck, always keepseveral get well
cards on the mantle so if unexpected guests arrive, you can say you've been
sick and unable to clean
