Half-Ironman 2 years later

[ithicks]

At the end of June I did a half-ironman. It was the same race that had been my last before my OHS. My OHS was sudden with little time to process it. Two years ago, I was hospitalized on Monday and in surgery Friday morning. I was active on this site for a while; but then left and tried to pretend things had returned to normal and I could be who I use to be. I was surprised at my performance at the race just three weeks ago. I set a personal record for my half-ironman time and beat my course time (pre-heart surgery) by 51 seconds. I felt both like I had overcome and returned to my pre-surgery life and at the same time recognizing I never can go back.

While I am thoroughly grateful and astonished at my physical recovery and cherish it everyday I go exercise, I am left with friends and family who keep wanting me to be who I use to be. Simply, I can not go back to that person. A little after two years later I am just becoming aware of this and am done struggling to return to my "former self."

Thus, I have re-registered here. I spent late last night reading recent posts and began to cry out of relief for the first time in years. A relief of not having to explain myself and hearing the stories of others similar to mine. I thank you all for sharing your bravery and am sorry for leaving this community thinking I was strong enough to go on my own.

Physically recovered..... emotionally still healing.
Justin

 

[SumoRunner]

Yep, same feeling here. I had OHS in 1991 but never found this site until about 2 years ago. It was a huge relief to have others who "understood". Why do you s'pose I'm having my best year in over a decade now?

 

[spartangator]

Justin,
Welcome back. Congrats on the PR, and what a huge topic you've raised. As SumoRunner mentioned, the understanding topic is one that hits home with many, I'll bet.

Thanks for letting us know about the half-Ironman and your success. I'm looking to do something similar at two years so it's thrilling to hear how well it went for you.

All the best,
Brad

 

[tprice54]

Congrats on the PR! I dare say it is even sweeter post-op! Welcome back and I hope you inspire someone to take up tri's!

 

[kodi]

Thanks for the post. None of us can ever go back and some of us will never be what/where we were before but all of us are grateful to be alive and to have friends on this forum who we can share things with others will never understand. Congratulations on the PR, we all love 'em. What's next on the agenda?

 

[DaveEM]

Welcome back and thank you for your posting. It hit home with me, even though I'm "only" six months out from my op. I find myself struggling with the idea of getting back to the way I was and finding it so difficult. It helps to know that I don't have to get back, only move forward with who I am now. I need to stop wondering why it's taking me so long to recover to the level I was before, and just focus on where I'm at, improving, and dealing with the "new" me. Thank you again.