For Dog/Cat Lovers, Courtesy Of Granbonny

[Ross]

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and my food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and your dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If, by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years; canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it "fur"niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours, and doesn't speak clearly. ! Dogs and cats are better than kids ... they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college - and, if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.

 

[geebee]

A picture is worth a thousand words:

 

[Mary]

Here's another one; writing is hard to read due to new size restrictions on animations. I think you get the gist though!

 

[geebee]

Mary,

Reminds me of one of our members who posted that he hangs magnets from his chest.

 

[catwoman]

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours, and doesn't speak clearly. ! Dogs and cats are better than kids ... they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college - and, if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.

Heck, my cats ARE drug-users themselves. They love to get a catnip high.
D'ya know what ingredient is in catnip?????????? We even used to grow it. Catnip, I mean, not the other!

 

[Karlynn]

Heck, my cats ARE drug-users themselves. They love to get a catnip high.
D'ya know what ingredient is in catnip?????????? We even used to grow it. Catnip, I mean, not the other!

Our old, broken-down Egyptian Mau gets horribly mean and and nasty when she's "on catnip". She is not a happy drunk. So no more catnip for Zuni.

Pam, I heard that Shibas are very cat-like. Is that true?

 

[catwoman]

Karlynn:

Had an Aby once who was like Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde on catnip. Could not give it to him at all -- became overly agressive, mean.
I've seen veterinary textbooks that say sensitivity to catnip can be genetic. Some get high, some don't.

 

[hensylee]

Also, I have been using the bathroom for years; canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

My old man (now gone) Barney would freak out if anyone went in the bathroom without him. He would scream at the door until you let him in. I remember a boss from another life came over and almost freaked out because the cat came on in with him and then jumped in his lap! (#1 - grossed me out that he was doing #2 in my bathroom). Needless to say, he never came over again! We used to call Barney a Fecal-philiac!

Actually, bathroom attendance is mandatory at our house because Penelope uses the commode. We have to be sure the lid is up for her.

We left 3 of our cats in the house while we went off (took one w/us, put Miss SS at vet hotel) with plenty of food water and litter. We got home, found only TWO. We searched the entire house, drove ourselves crazy (with guilt) and smelled everywhere for one dead cat. Then we decided to each take a nap and who saunters out? Sam, of course! Where was he? We don't know - our house isn't THAT big. Bet your cat has a hidey hole, too. We just can't find Sam's.