hensylee
Well-known member
Hey Billy and Scottie - look what came in my mail today:
The European Union commissioners have announced that an agreement has been
reached on the adoption of English as the preferred language for European
communications. The alternative was German.
As part of the negotiations the British government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and accepted a five-year phased
plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly,
sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be
replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion but typewriters
kan have one letter less.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "foto"
20 per sent shorter.
In the third year publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
rea! ch the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of
silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
by "z" and "w" by " v".
During ze fifz year ze unesesary "o" kanbe dropd from vords kontaining
"ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of
leters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al b speking German lik zey vunted in ze
forst plas
The European Union commissioners have announced that an agreement has been
reached on the adoption of English as the preferred language for European
communications. The alternative was German.
As part of the negotiations the British government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and accepted a five-year phased
plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly,
sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be
replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion but typewriters
kan have one letter less.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "foto"
20 per sent shorter.
In the third year publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
rea! ch the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of
silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
by "z" and "w" by " v".
During ze fifz year ze unesesary "o" kanbe dropd from vords kontaining
"ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of
leters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al b speking German lik zey vunted in ze
forst plas
