Karen,
Read your own signature. You and your heart have been through a hell of a lot over your life. Trust me when I say I understand how frustrating it can be to find a job that fits your physical and mental tolerances after surgery. Not to make this post about me, but I had surgery in March of 04, had sternum complications and was on disability until August of 04, was cleared to go back to work only to find my job was no longer there, had my wires taken out in October of 04, and have been unemployed until just recently. Through that whole ordeal I learned a lot about how companies view employees, but I also had to take a long hard look at myself and ask why I couldn't seem to handle the rigors of a normal job. It turns out that I had 2 major things working against me and neither had to do with my heart. It took awhile to get up the courage to find the right doctor, but I was suffering from clinical depression and chronic fatigue syndrome. The reason I'm telling you this is not to minimize your health issues, but to stress that anyone who is struggling with work issues after OHS needs to thoroughly examine what is keeping them from being successful in their career. I had gotten to the point where I thought I would never be able to function like I did before surgery...and I blamed a lot of it on my OHS. It turns out that I had a bad case of the blues and a legitimate health problem (chronic fatigue) that most doctors don't seem to take seriously. Once my new doctor got me on the right meds I've been like a new person. Not only am I working now, but I'm working golf course maintenence (which I love since I'm a golfaholic) which can be very physically demanding.
Well...so much for not making this post about me.
But my point is that OHS can take it's toll in many different ways. I was beating myself up for over a year thinking I was just lazy and unwilling to face going back to work, but it turns out that it wasn't just me. Within 2-3 days after being put on medication for chronic fatigue I felt like a completely different person.
If the stress level of your current job is too much to bear...look for something different. I'm making about 1/3 of what I was making in my job before surgery, and while I miss the money I'm 100% happier doing what I love to do.
I worked as a pharmacy tech in a large teaching hospital for 10 years and I know how much stress nurses are under...if it gets to be too much...put your health and your happiness ahead of the money if at all possible.
