Feeling scared

[ron]

Today was rough. I have my appt. with a surgeon on Thursday.

I have severe stenosis (.8cm) and an anuerysm at 4.4. In addition, moderate hypertrophy and mild/moderate diastolic dysfunction. I am afraid that my left ventricle won't be able to withstand the strain on the surgery. I have heard that I am at an increased surgical risk when the left ventricle starts to breakdown. I want to do this surgery ASAP.

Today I had a breakdown. When my mother saw me, she started to cry as well. I am trying to be strong for her and for my fiancee. I pray that God will carry me through this. I have tried to be strong but today I just melted down.

I don't know what question I am asking here to all of you. But I know there are those who can relate. This is the toughest thing I have ever faced...

 

[normofthenorth]

The good news is that almost all of us found the pre-op period more stressful than the post-op.

Do you have any reason to believe "that my left ventricle won't be able to withstand the strain on the surgery"?? I've never heard of one failing during surgery. With a failing AV, the LV typically gets bigger and stronger, the opposite of "breakdown". The challenge is to fix the AV before the LV gets SO big and strong that it stays oversized and overstrong afterwards, even though the new valve doesn't need the extra size or strength.

I don't know if your relatives are really counting on you to provide the family's strength now. You may feel better if you give that job to them.

I'm sure the surgeon will answer many of your questions, and probably make you feel more confident, too. For us patients, this is an amazing challenge and usually the scariest thing that's ever happened to us in our lives. For the surgeon and the rest of your medical team, it's "routine"!!

 

[ken taylor]

IM in the same boat , my numbers are the same as you, surgery in two days. Do not be scared about the left side of your heart, Im sure it will fully go back to normal in time after your surgery.

 

[sensei Ade]

Hi Ron, I totally know where you are coming from here. Having been there twice myself in the past 5.5 years. Of course you will feel anxious, this is a big journey you're embarking on but I think what would help you is if you stop and try to put things into perspective here because there are many positives to hold onto. Firstly valve replacement surgery is very advanced these days, it's been around for 40+ years and hundreds of thousands of these procedures have been carried out with few complications. On a more general level, cardiology is one area that medical science has got a great handle on in comparison to other areas such as oncology for example - do bear this in mind.

The best way to approach this is to be somewhat cavalier in your approach and say to yourself, 'Right! I've got a job to do!' Your state of mind is so important here, it makes a huge difference. Say to yourself that you will NOT be beaten by this. With my second aortic valve replacement I had severe regurgitation after my porcine replacement valve failed, so I've now got an On-X valve and you know what, I'm running around the field hockey pitch and do karate 4 times a week, and if I'm not doing this I'm busy in the garden or in the swimming pool with my 8-year old little boy. So there's absolutely no reason why you won't be fine. Not only that, you're in the USA - one of the best countries in the world to be ill in, so I'm sure the medical attention you'll get will be brillliant!

My message to you in a slightly long-winded way is that all the odds are stacked in your favour, just go in there and get it sorted and look forward to a wonderful life with your family. You'll come out of this a stronger person than you've ever been, trust me. God will also be there for you all the way.

Take care

Sensei Ade

 

[epstns]

Hi, Ron, and Welcome!

As the others have said, your reactions are entirely normal. Many of us have had similar melt-downs prior to surgery. In my case it came many years ago when I was first diagnosed. Yours has happened much closer to time for surgery. The important thing is that although you have a "heart condition" you have decided to do something about it. As sensei mentioned, these procedures are so commonplace today that nobody is surprised to hear of another. When I mentioned my recent valve replacement to another member of my gym, she said "Oh, yeah - my husband has two artificial valves."

If you're worried about what comes after surgery, the simple answer is "life." After the first month or so of recovery, you can gradually get back to whatever your life had to offer prior to surgery. For me, it meant getting back to work (office job) part-time at about 6 weeks after surgery. And I'm back at the gym -- not running yet, but walking pretty darn quick!

As the others said, for us these procedures are life-changing. For the docs, nurses and specialists, these are just another day at work. They do it all the time.

My advice is for you to meet with your surgeon, then make all your choices as well as you can. Write these down, along with all the major things you must do before surgery. This is your "plan." Now all you have to do is follow it. No more agony over decisions, as you've already made them. Live your life until it is time to get into the car to go to the hospital. You won't be there long - most patients are out in less than a week. After that, plan to recover at home. The first month may be slow -- you won't feel like doing much except resting, doing your breathine exercises, walking, eating and that's about it for a while.

You can do it!

We'll be here for you when you return.

 

[Jkm7]

Hi Ron,
I had two OHS in four years and the pre-surgery stress and anxiety is awful. Many of us think it the worst part of the whole experience.

As the others have said, it is so normal for you to have all the mixed feelings you describe. Any sensible person would be nervous but this is really a highly successful surgery and the vast majority of us go through it just fine...... keep that in mind and know there's every reason for you to do perfectly well.

No one says this is easy stuff but we are so lucky to have it available to us.
Let us know how you are doing and how we can help you.
All best wishes.

 

[nngbwh]

Ron,

We all understand were you are coming from. Feeling scared is normal. You will do fine. Make sure you keep us posted.

 

[Greg a]

Ron, I have cried so many times in the last four years that I am beginning to believe the good Lord put my bladder too close to my eyes or my surgeon played a practical joke and moved it there while I was in one of the comas ......emotions are not a bad thing and I would worry about anyone facing what we face with too cavalier an attitude ...as others have said many times WAITING IS THE WORST PART get comfortable now with your decisions

 

[dick0236]

I don't know what question I am asking here to all of you. But I know there are those who can relate. This is the toughest thing I have ever faced...

There is something about OHS that scares everyone who has gone thru it. FWIW, you are following a very, very long list of folks who have "walked up this mountain and succesfully walked down the other side". I wish you an uneventful surgery and easy recovery.

 

[drivetopless]

It is normal to be scared. I remember vividly the feelings of "I dont' want to do this" and feeling trapped because I had not choice.
Focus on the outcome. It really does help. I know it's hokey, but everytime you have a negative thought visualize a routine, easy surgery with an ideal outcome. Visualize your heart accepting the new valve and anuerysm repair and your LV quickly returning to normal size. Think about how happy you will be on the other side when you are all healed up and don't have to worry about "blowing a gasket." mJust think how much "happier" your heart will be when it doesn't have to work so hard to get the blood to your body.
Peace be with you.

 

[ron]

Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and best wishes. My spirits have been lifted today...

 

[alpha 1]

ron,
in december of 07 my 28 year old healthy son had heartburn that did not go away a few days later we went to our gp who said he had a heart murmur that he never heard before. sent him for an echo. the cardio came out and said he has a leaky valve he needs surgery. we were in shock i had never been so devastated in my entire life. just didnt know what to do. wish i had found this sight a few months earlier than i did. we waited longer than we should had to have his surgery cuz we just didnt know where to go what to do and were freaking out. we ended up at cleveland clinic. it ended up ok. but we shouldnt have waited. sometimes there just isnt anything else you can do but just get it done. they have so much technology today and do so much. it will be ok. my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. adam said to tell you its ok.

 

[Jkm7]

alpha,

This is the most amazing thing to learn your son is 28. I read your posts through the surgery and the weeks after and all this time, I thought your son was still a child. I have no idea why I thought him under 10 years old. Wow. I feel so dumb but am happy to finally learn you have a grown man son who has successfully 'gone over the mountain' of heart surgery.

 

[Scott]

Ron. I also had some major breakdowns. I think that you don't realize how depressed and run down you can get until you are feeling beter and look back. Try to get some sleep and keep telling yourself that it will be o.k. You know the odds are really in your favor. It is really great that you have loving people around you. Let them lift you up. You can be there for them another day.

 

[alpha 1]

age

age

jkm7
its ok age is only a number. sometimes adam acts like he is 10 though. also i prob treat him as though he is. i think i hover because hes always had some type of problem from adhd and only weighed 2 pounds 10 ounces 3 months premature and stuff and he is a one and only. he would never have been on here to ask questions. but maybe he would be more independant if i would let go some. i just really love him. my husband lets him go so its ok. lol

 

[RZG]

Ron,
I am 3 1/2 weeks away from OHS AVR MVR I am also scared. I have 3 sons and sometimes i cry so hard i can't breath. I don't want them to see me cry but at times its hard to hide. What helps me is focusing on the positive, knowing that after the surgery We will feel better. This waiting is very difficult, stay strong, be positive, have faith and lean on all of us here who truly know how you feel.

Take Care

RZG

 

[yotphix]

I was pretty scared going in, and got pretty quiet over the last couple of days, odd for me. When I was on my way home 4 days after someone asked how it was. The first thing that came to my mind was to say "I highly recommend it!" I meant it too, in the sense that having the surgery was WAY easier than the anticipation. Also, look forward to milking your recovery for the first little bit. Make a mental list of stuff you can get away with asking someone else to do for you. These opportunities don't come along every day you know!

Best of luck with it all, I look for ward to hearing from you when it's all over.

 

[Superbob]

Ron,

I can only echo what the others have pointed out so well: Virtually all of us were scared going into this surgery. But the odds are greatly in your favor. You should do well. Here's wishing you all success.