Feeling a bit overwhelmed today

Valve Replacement Forums

Help Support Valve Replacement Forums:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
G

Guest

My mother has just been advised that she needs to have her aortic valve replaced sooner rather than later. She called me yesterday, just sobbing, and managed to give me the news. She will now be the 4th member of our family to undergo an AVR. This is what she's getting for her 66th birthday. Her birthday is next week and she's probably having surgery within the next month. She has been followed with annual echos and test results show a significant change from this time last year.

She will have a cardiac cath on 7/19 and I will be with her, just as she was there for me when I had one on 6/16. She was very upset and told me she hoped she wasn't ever going to need surgical intervention. She went on to tell me not to worry that she would be at my house to care for me when I come home from UAB in Sept. I am scheduled for redo AVR on 9/13. I had to politely tell her that she will be in the middle of her own recovery and it's not realistic.

It is overwhelming for my Dad (stepdad who adopted me; bio dad died 2 years ago from heart attack). He is a full time caregiver to his mom, an Alzheimer's patient. She is in the late stages and requires skilled nursing care. He said to me today " I just don't know.....this has got me......Mom's going to have surgery and then you'll have surgery a month later and I'll have 3 patients." I reassured Dad that I will be cared for. My husband and I will figure it out. I am the type of person that likes to be left alone when I'm not feeling well anyway. My mom seems determined that she's going to have surgery and then be there tot Mae care of me. I hope her surgery does go smoothly.

I'm still trying to process things. Mom will have surgery in Pensacola and I will be around for a few weeks and then dash off to have my own surgery. I feel a little useless right now. There's not much I can do to help my parents at the moment. Hospice will provide one week's respite care so my Dad can be at the hospital with my Mom. I have to be at work as much as possible to conserve leave in preparation of my upcoming absence.

This is just crazy! I found myself shopping online for surgical bras for Mom today. I feel like I need to do something to help.
 
I'll offer the cheer I can -- if she is having her AVR at 66, it should not affect her overall lifespan. That is something to take heart in.
 
Yikes Lisa. It could be worth a call now to the hospital social work department to explain the caregiver stress that your stepdad will be under and see if they tell you how to set up some weekly homemaking and / or respite care services during her recovery. Possibly these can be "prescribed" or there may be some process you can start now or at least get familiar with. If your stepdad is doing full time Alzheimer's care, he'd probably benefit from respite and homemaking on a more permanent basis if he doesn't already have it through community based senior services. Don't remember where you live but your hospital or local senior center would be places to start investigating. A week isn't going to cut it and the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
 
Back
Top