Emotions

[Eowyn Rose]

I had my operation 10 weeks ago. I feel physical great and my mind is sharp again. I had my days of blues, grive and frustration and accepted them as part of my recovering. But my emotional state is still unsettleing me. I am reading the treads of some of you and i feel so much for you. Since the operation i am also much more intuitive. When i interact with people i am aware of so much more than what they are saying. If what i sense is contradicting what they are saying it it makes me so unsecure.
I was never emotional and only showed my feelings to my family. To sum it up
my emotions are now so strong and hard to ignore. I am cheerful and at peace i don't think i have a depression. But it is so unusal that i could hug strangers, tell friends how beauful they are etc. That is just not me. My feeling are coming with such a force i hardly know myself.
Are any of you more tender in your feelings after the operation. Did you had a similar expierience with your Emotions? Did you get back to your old self?

Eowyn Rose

 

[tobagotwo]

Are you sure you really want to get back to your old self? The new self sounds pretty neat.

Most people have a great rush of relief after the surgery, and it can make some folks real easygoing with their emotions for a while. Be nice to keep some of that, if you can.

Best wishes,

 

[geebee]

I think we have a certain amazement of life after facing death (and OHS is certainly that). Knowing how quickly life could be pulled away makes us not want to waste time.
Telling people how you feel, expressing emotions and wanting to touch and hug people to make sure they are real, are all part of this new awareness.
I believe it is very common and I think you should try to embrace it as part of your new lease on life.
Welcome to this side of the mountain.

 

[McCln]

My problem was always stress. I stressed over almost everything before my second bypass. Since then, I very seldom stress over everything, just every once in a while. I feel calmer and better since the surgery. You may want to talk to the doctor or a very good friend and ask about what you are going through. It is not unusual to go through certain things like emotions after a traumatic experience. Just hang in there and talk to someone. There is a answer for what you are going through. Hang tough, you are doing fine in my book.

 

[Debrinha GT]

Feeling emotional

Feeling emotional

I completely agree with what the others have already said, and I'd like to add my two cents as well. In my opinion, you might have been wanting to let your feelings show for a long time, but since you were not used to it, it would've been unnatural for you to just start doing it out of nothing. However, with all the care you must have felt coming from people during such a difficult moment in your life which was the time preceeding your surgery and then during your recovery, you've probably become a more sensitive person thus feeling the need to show the world how happy and grateful you are to have been given another chance. Be yourself and spread your happiness around! Take care and God bless!
Débora

 

[hensylee]

Rose, I have been a member of VR for a long time. Some years ago we had this same discussion and maybe we ought to have it again. Seems our feelings are more sensitive/tender than they used to be. Many had different opinions as to what causes it - but we just never did figure it out. Whatever it is, we all like it and just want to stay this way. We cry easier, we love more, we hurt more, we give more - and on.....and on.....and, well, you know.

 

[Ross]

I'm a firm believer that the very core of your human spirit has been touched when they played with your heart. It does change you and the way you look at things in life. You'll certainly come back to the same person, but you'll never forget the feelings and you'll most likely continue life in this new found experience.

 

[Glenda]

Since I made it through AVR to this other side of the mountain, I am more aware of people's feelings. I have always been an outgoing person, never meeting a stranger, but I find myself listening to people more, not talking so much. I have reached out to people, visiting the sick, sitting with a loved one at the hospital, taking food to the sick in our church. I seem to have taken the attitude of "Do it now!" Having had breast cancer, kidney cancer and now living with CML (chronic myeloid leukemia,) open heart surgery, all within five years, I know time may be short. I'm more aware of that now than I ever was before. Any number of things could happen tomorrow. So I want to live fully now. God has put so many opportunities in my life and I sincerely believe that God is using me through all these trials. I will continue to put God first in my life and I know that He is in complete control.

 

[SHerrin Hutt]

Being a person who has had two open heart surgeries it bring you life to a different light. I found myself saying I LOVE MUCH MORE than before and hugging DR's and family members that I never huged before. My huband and girls are closer than before too! I guess this was be an eye opener for my whole family. They were never said the words I LOVE YOU or hugging family till my near death experience. Don't get me wong I think this is a great thing and brought us all closer together. It just sad that it took this to get my family 50 yrs to say the words I LOVE YOU! I have always been close with my girls and we have always said I love you before we hang up the phone. Because you never know when it may be the last time. My father passed away 5 yrs ago and thoses words never came out of anyone mouth ever. I think to this day it makes me sad, But I hope he knows I always loved him.

 

[Eowyn Rose]

Thanks for your replays. It is good to know that others had the same expierence. You all seem to say that you are happier since you express your feelings a bit more and stress a little less. I am still getting used to the new me, and might just stay that way.
By the way how did you manage to stress less? Is there a magic formula to stop yourself when you get carried away? I meditate, take walks, drink wine. I should be crusing, but i still manage to get myself in a spin.
by for now
Eowyn Rose

 

[Ross]

Not really. I still go out of control at times. I try to rationalize that Rome wasn't built in a day, so why should I be in a hurry to change things that I simply cannot. Sometimes, my mind doesn't accept that. Usually after a nites attempted rest, the next day is better.

 

[SHerrin Hutt]

I am sure we all have our good days and our bad ones. But thank God ther are more good than bad for me.Or I would been at the local hosp. with the padded rooms.

 

[mile high]

I agree that 10 weeks is not a long time and it takes longer to absorb what you are experiencing. I have told friends that I thought it took me 12-18 months to really get to where I wanted to be post surgery from the mental side of it. The mental side turned out to be more difficult than the physical side.

Also, it is OK to see a psychologist to discuss your life and your feelings. My cardiology group has a psychologist who comes to their building once a week to meet with cardiac patients that want to use his services. Sometimes we feel that we are not strong if we see this type doctor. Yet this is what they do for a living and are extremely insightful and helpful. This is just an option to consider.

 

[Eowyn Rose]

Next week i start work again. That makes it about 11 weeks after operation. Since 3 weeks i am running the household and my Kids. I can not even go to the Rehab because work start again and of all the other commitments.I like the ideas High Mile suggested to see someone i can talk too. I do worry if that all is a bit to early, but i really like it to give it a go, see what needs to change in my life toss out what does not serve me. Right now You the only valueable help i have going through this. And i might add absolute the best i could wish for. I would feel so alone without you all.
Rachel i will introduce myself probablly on small talk.
By for now.
Eowyn Rose

 

[mile high]

Rachel,

It is one on one counseling and not a group session. I have met with him a few times over the last year and a half. It has been most beneficial for me. In trying to find someone like this, recomendations are always the best. I have great trust in the cardio group I use and they proved it again with the set up they have with this psychologist.