Emotional about surgery

[anne]

My 3rd OHS is this week. About a month ago I went to the cardiologists to check my progress and ask about getting pregnant. As you can imagine, the news was not great. My valve has closed again and my ascending aorta has widened. I didn't even know that this was a possibility! The doctors said that even if I wasn't planning a pregnancy I would be in the same delimmea. What to do. I have decided on a stentless tissue and the repair of the aorta itself. Why do I feel so guilty? Should I have chosen a mechanical and not been so selfish in my child bearing years? I guess I am just scared that in four days I have to face this all again but this time with a new husband and in a new city.

 

[Ross]

Don't beat yourself for your choice. The why part is something that can never be answered. I've been searching forever and finding it to be a waste of time and energy. Been through 2 myself, so I can feel the stress of a 3rd go just thinking about it. Wish I had some real answers for you, but all you can do is make that choice again, roll the dice and move your mice once more.

 

[geebee]

Anne,

Welcome to VR.com. I am sorry you are having such a tough time.

I had my first 2 OHS while married. My third OHS was with my S/O (who is still around). He was more supportive than my husband was so don't worry about the "new husband" thing. He will take care of you.

You cannot beat yourself up second guessing old decisions. They were and are the right choices for you. A tissue valve is again the right choice if you are still considering a future pregnancy. Pregnancy on coumadin is very difficult.

If you are concerned about the future, you might want to discuss leaving the valve choice up to the surgeon. Go in with wanting the tissue valve but, if he feels going in for a 4th OHS will be difficult, give him the option of using a mechanical. This will then leave it in God's hands. What the surgeon finds within your body will determine the valve implanted. Just a thought.

What is your exact date? I would like to put you on our calendar.

Take care and Godspeed.

 

[bvdr]

Welcome, Anne, to this forum. I'm sure that was quite a blow, particularly when you were hoping for a clearance for pregnancy. I understand your desire to bear children. My children and my grandchildren have been shining lights in my life. I do think though that I would have felt the same way if their entrance into my life had been by adoption. If your heart says "tissue valve" go that route but be prepared to open yourself up to other options if you come out of surgery and find that a mechanical valve needed to be used.

 

[anne]

My surgery is this Thursday. I go on Wednesday for my pre-op. Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[Debrinha GT]

You're not alone in this!

You're not alone in this!

Hi Anne, I'm a 40 year-old Brazilian who has been through 3 mitral valve replacements already, and within the next couple of years I'll have to go in again. In my case, I was only 10 when I had the first one as a result of rheumatic fever and the valve implanted in me was a dura-mater at the time. It only lasted five years and at the age of 15 I was back in the operating theatre for my second replacement also with a tissue valve (dura-mater). Well, 15 years passed and by the time I needed my third, I'd been married for over 10 years and was trying to get pregnant. However, the surgery came before the baby and I had to make a decision. The only thing I knew was that there were two types of valve which were tissue and mechanical. The surgeon gave me a choice and explained the pros and cons of both. I didn't think twice before chosing tissue and the only reason for that at the time was PREGNANCY. I had the operation and 6 months later I was pregnant with my daughter Bruna who is now 8 years-old. I was quite sure that my next choice would be to go mechanical, but once I joined VR and got more detailed information about what it would actually involve, I backed out and realized it just isn't for me. I know the risks of reoperations, but to me having a tissue valve is the best bet and I'd rather face another surgery than having to take coumadim, at least for as long as I can avoid it! Read all you can about valves and remember, it's you who will have to live with whatever choice you make and not the surgeon nor your husband. Unless the doctor has a reason for choosing it himself, do what you feel will be the best for you. There's not such a thing as a perfect valve, but we can opt for the one we feel most comfortable with. Good luck to you whatever you decide and keep us posted. If you have any more questions, know that we're all here to help you through this such difficult time. Take care!
Débora

 

[hensylee]

Mornin, Anne. I am sorry you have to go through it, yet again. That happens sometimes. Several members have had multiples and it is always dreaded - heck, so is the first one. My thoughts and prayers go right along with you as you make this awesome journey in and out of surgery. Please have someone let us know how you get on - and stay with us this week so that all can offer support. GODSPEED!